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Rating:

Commuters Forced to Wait for an Hour While Guard Has Sandwich

More than 50 commuters in Kent were forced to wait for almost an hour while the guard took time off to eat a chicken sandwich and a bag of crisps. Perhaps it was the wrong type of bread?

written by IN SEINE, 04 May 2012
Rating:

America's Tallest Man Gets Sized 21 Trainers

7'8" Igor Vovkovinskiy, an American has travelled to the Reebok factory in Massachusetts to be fitted with size 21 trainers. It is estimated that they have a carbon footprint of 42.

written by IN SEINE, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Modern pop stars tell their fans to wear ear-plugs!

Many modern Rappers, pop/rock-stars, etc, are telling their fans to wear ear plugs whilst listening to their music because they can't stand listening to it themselves!

written by Jaggedone, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Boris Johnson asks Hitler to open London 2012!

To enhance his chances of continuing to make an utter twat of himself, Boris J has decided to ditch the Queen at the Olympics and go for Hitler; It's called the shock effect!

written by Jaggedone, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Kerry Katona has tummy tuck

no word yet on a mouth zip.

written by radiogagger, 04 May 2012
Rating:

What a Con Ken!

Justice Secretary and ongoing halfwit Ken Clarke wants high street stores to hire more ex-offenders, with so many job vacancies unfilled and so few unemployed doubtless this will be an excellent idea!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Facebook valued at $100 billion

Not bad for everyone's favorite waste of time.

Like this comment?

written by radiogagger, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Lopez Gives Beau a Really Big Job

The singer already gifted her 25-year-old boyfriend, Casper Smart, a new truck - and now she's made him director for her latest video.

Never saw that job advertised on craigslist.

written by radiogagger, 04 May 2012
Rating:

"Stampede!!!"

Baskin-Robbins the cardiac arrest inducing ice cream makers announce they are opening 80 news shops across UK creating 400 new jobs...unemployed lardarse stampede expected to ensue!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Bailed-Out AIG's Profits More Than Double Last Year's

Dont'cha just hate it when that happens?

written by radiogagger, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Reebok Builds $12,000-Shoe For Tallest Man

Looking forward to seeing him at the Olympics.

written by radiogagger, 04 May 2012
Rating:

May the Fourth be with you

Happy Star Wars Day

written by radiogagger, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Denise Richards, 41, Sports Tiny Bikini

Luckily, there's not a law against it.

written by radiogagger, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Jennifer Lopez Shows Off Massive Tattoos in Video

Don't be fooled by the tats that she's got...
(You know the rest, do i have to spell it out for you...)

written by radiogagger, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Navy Seals strike again

US Navy Seal Six forces have killed a five year old's pet rabbit after it was discovered to bear the name Osama Bin Laden. "For the good of the country, it had to go" said a spokesperson for the team.

written by whatinthe world, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Documents Reveal Osama Bin Laden Was "Frustrated At The End'

That sounds like the understatement of the decade.

Frustrated?

I bet he was bloody furious when the US Navy Seals stormed his compound and shot him to pieces.

written by Simon Saunders, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Complaints Over Puppy Prize On ITV Show

About 180 people have moaned to Ofcom after a puppy was given away on the show 'Keith Lemon's LemonAid'.

Some say there are plenty of reasons to complain about the show, but this isn't one of them.

written by Simon Saunders, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Military Begins Olympic Exercise

According to an insider, the exercise will include; Squat thrusts, an egg and spoon race, star jumps and a sack race.

That should prepare them for any potential terrorist attack.

written by Simon Saunders, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Spirit Airlines raising carry-on bag fee to $100

In fine print, Spirit added, if you give up your left testicle it's only $50

written by JAB, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Blind Chinese activist Chen Guangcheng's pleas for U.S. sanctuary

Another case of the blind not leading the blind

written by JAB, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Rielle Hunter wasn't John Edwards' only love bunny

101-year old heiress and big-time financial backer Rachel "Bunny" Mellon had a huge crush on him. It didn't get far, "he was afraid of old age creeping up on him."

written by JAB, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 40

"Mountain Climbing"

by

Andover Hand

written by IN SEINE, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Local Elections 2012 Lib Dems now have fewest councillors ever!

A stark headline this morning for Lib Dems - they now have their lowest number of councillors since the party was formed in 1988!

"So, joining the coalition with the Tories wasn't such a good idea?"

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Daily Mirror: Cameron needs to listen to voters and learn!

Austerity laced with unfairness, nepotism, & made toxic by incompetence and a dose of sleaze, is a toxic mix!

"Dear Mirror: Expecting Cameron to listen and be fair is inconceivable, & futile!"

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Bank Holiday: Britain set for snow and temp's of minus six!

Families will shiver through trips ruined by bitter northerly winds and temperatures plunging as low as -6C!

"Oh dearie me!"

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Obama to quit Presidency

US President, Barack Obama, will resign from office effective noon tomorrow after being revealed as the pimp who provided Secret Service officers with prostitutes in Columbia. Who'd have thought!

written by whatinthe world, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Dr Phil's mid life crises

TV Guru, Dr Phil, says he is considering becoming a tele-evangelist or may be a celebrity chef. "Either one of those or may be become a reality TV show contestant" the highly statured dude said. Well!

written by whatinthe world, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Sam Faiers to launch her autobiography at a gay nightclub!

The TOWIE star, 21, says she will wear her sparkliest outfit for the first signing of her book at London's G-A-Y club.

"I see... well I don't really!"

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Local Elections: Respect Party Ousts Bradford Labour Leader!

George Galloway's Respect Party has followed up its shock by-election victory by winning five seats on Bradford Council, including that of the Labour leader.

"Good innit?"

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Rating:

4 May 2012: Local Elections: Tory's net loss 11 Councils!

The Tory party is facing - so far - a net loss of 11 councils.

Yippee!

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Ed Miliband could become Prime Minister!

While Ukip splits the right-wing vote, the decline of the Lib Dems unifies the left!

"Now that is scary!"

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Local Election Result: Vale of Glamorgan

Vale of Glamorgan final result: Lab 22; Con 11; UKIP 1; Ind 7; PC 6. Conservatives lose to no overall control.

Ha ha ha!

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Scuffle between Labour and Lib-Dem Politicians!

A scuffle broke out between Labour and Lib-Dem politicians during an election count in St Helens.

"Fancy that!"

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Camel's milk has 10 times more iron than cow's milk.

"Well I'll be blowed!"

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
Rating:

Women have a better sense of smell than men!

"This explains a lot!"

written by Inchcock, 04 May 2012
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