Spoof news snippets from Sunday 27 May 2012

Answer: Shredded Tweet

Question: What do you get when you build a wind turbine farm on a major bird migration route?

Memory loss?

The debilitating scourge of early Alzheimers has struck the Tory Party yet again....poor Baroness Warsi has 'neglected' to declare thousands of £££'s in rental income...I feel for so her and the party

Magaluf Olympics

The British Olympic 'balcony falling' team really going for multiple gold as number 4 contestant lands head first from 6th floor Magaluf Hotel...."come on England!"...make us proud.
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"Tell them Scotland is free!!"

According to new YouGov poll 58% of Scots take more national pride from Billy Connolly than the Queen...I prefer Frankie Boyle myself he looks much funnier with a crown and erminE.
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Euro your way I'll go mine!

Well done Englebert time for a mug of Philosan and a speedy return to the pine box...until next time...don't forget to de-flea the wig bro'

Norway 0 - England 1, there's hope yet!

Hodgson's Homies won and now he can't wait to bite off those 'Frogs Legs"!

Love sick Lady Gaga cancels Indonesia gig!

Lady Gaga has cancelled her Indonesia gig not because of security reasons; she is love sick and can't bear the pain of living him. Jean Paul Gaultier loves him too, but has no chance!

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 63

Gay Super Hero Hints

Up, up and Agay! Holy Lesbo Batman! Look it's the Flesh! I Wonder if she's a Woman!

Please Shower Together

Baltimore MD's antiquated water and sewer system needs repair. The city is raising water and sewage rates and suggesting that people use less water, in order not to overstress the system!

Thanks Winston

Never has the USA been screwed up so much by the Democratic Obama administration, that has caused so many people and industries anguish, because of a few clueless, corrupt, incompetent executives!

The Sky is Not Falling

Maryland's tax and spend Democratic governor indicated the state couldn't possibly make do without two new light rail lines. Oops, no funds so one has to go, maybe both. Buses anyone?

Another Cup of Joe

President Obama has discovered that VP Biden is a millstone around his neck. Presidential aides indicate he may ask Republican Joe the Plumber to be his new running mate!

Can't Solve the Real Problems

A rabid environmental group predicts summer heat due to climate change could kill 150,000 people. Gee folk's that's the same statistic the WHO tried to sell in 2003. Did anyone mention curing cancer?

Chicago NATO Summit

WH Press Secretary Carney was asked about Pres. Obama's thoughts on the occupy movement morphing into mobs of violent anarchists. Flabbergasted, Carney looked like a deer caught in a car's headlights!

Real Corporate Bastards

Major TV networks sue companies making equipment that removes commercials. Viewer's revolt by returning to using ON/OFF switch, taking potty breaks, getting a sandwich, using mute button and talking!

Stamp Out Poop

After years of study the EPA has determined that poop smells. New regulations about pooping will go into effect after the 2012 election, as Obama administration defenders continue to throw it around!

Change of Opinion

President Obama's view of the occupy movement has evolved to disapproval, when he found several anarchists sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom. Don't ask where the Secret Service agents were!

Traffic Drives on the Left Side

LONE RANGER: Representative Pelosi (D-CA) gets a street named after her in San Francisco, but Which Street? TONTO: Yes that's the name, with a different spelling!