Spoof news snippets from Saturday 12 May 2012

Mitt Romney Defines What Marriage Is

Marriage is a holy union between a man and a woman...and a woman, and a woman, and a woman, and a woman...

Cameron Proves How Out Of Touch He Is with the Public

When he thinks that LOL means lots of love... It's enough to make you laugh out loud!

Hague: "Britons Must Work Harder To Revive Economy!"

... So that the government can continue paying benefits to all the immigrants...Doesn't it make you proud to be British?

Eating Eggs at Breakfast Can Help You Lose Weight

Scientists suggest that eating eggs for breakfast can help with weight loss. Didn't they also say that it is a great source of salmonella?

Alan Titchmarsh's introduction to gardening

Garden expert Alan Titchmarsh describes why he has had a life-long passion for gardening and gives useful tips on how to get your garden blooming in no time.

It's called, WATER

French elite plan to relocate to London to avoid new tax regime

As they say, "If a frog had wings it would save a lot of wear and tear on its ass"

Biden: "Village People are the greatest band"

Obama: "My position on whether they should be in the Rocking Roll Hall of Fame is evolving"

Jamie Dimon admits JPMorgan was 'sloppy'

CEO Jamie Dimon said the $2 billion loss from risky trades had been "sloppy".

Earth to Jamie-- INCOMPETENT!!

L. O. L.

Lots Of Lies

12th May 1820 nurse Florence Nightingale born

Nurse Florence Nightingale was born today in 1820. Famously one-legged she is known to history as the 'lady with the limp'.

Sacha Baron Cohen's dictator Admiral General Aladeen claims he is Prince Harry's father

I thought it was that 'cad' James Hewitt?

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 48

UK Border Agency paid £3.5m in bonuses!

The UK Border Agency (UKBA) - recently branded "not fit for purpose" - paid £3.5m in performance-related bonuses to staff in one year!

"Makes you sick dunnit?"

94 year-old Emma Winnall attack: £5,000 reward offered

Emma Winnall suffered a fractured skull, a broken arm and wrist and a partially severed finger at her Birmingham home overnight on 30 April.

Horrendous picture of Victim

"I hope the man is caught!"

Hospital car park man 'dead for two days'!

A man who was found dead in his car at a Devon hospital is believed to have died two days earlier, police said!

"I'm surprised a parking attendant didn't find him earlier!"

Political Quote of the week: David Cameron

"The problems of over-spending and too much debt can't be solved by even more spending and even more debt!"

"Amazing, his depth of understanding and stating the obvious!"

EDL defends councillor over Twitter comment!

Photo
The English Defence League (EDL) has supported a Bournemouth councillor who said online that it was the only group that "sticks up for the English"

"Well it's true I suppose?"

Hunchback of Hot Damn!

Black Eyed Peas' singer Fergie has begun to develop a hunchback, which can often strike later in life. She has said she is pleased with her "hump, my hump, my hump. My lovely lady hump!"