'DWTS' Navratilova to star in movie
In the same genre as the 1992 movie 'White Men Can't Jump", Martina
Navratilova is to star in "Gay Women Can't Dance"
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written by
JAB, 28 March 2012
Police recover stolen settee...
...which, by anyone's books, was very thoughtful of them when it was looking so tatty
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Diarrhoea
Just Central Heating for your pants
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The Spoof to sue new website over copyright issues
The new website for gay thespians, ThesPoof, is being taken to court over breach of copyright
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New Super-Earths discovered!
Planets orbiting red dwarf stars have been discovered and are habitable for humans. Virgin Airways are taking bookings for one-way tickets from the rich and famous; they want their own planet!
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Obama picked up on an open mic in Pakistan
Meeting with PM Yousef Raza Gillani of Pakistan, Obama could be heard saying, "Have you suggested to her, she tries a Brazilian wax, I know Michelle…" (The rest is garbled)
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written by
JAB, 28 March 2012
JetBlue to review procedures
Both the pilot and the flight attendant, 2 years ago, went into meltdown after their wisdom teeth were removed. "Only people with dentures will be hired in future," said a spokesman.
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written by
JAB, 28 March 2012
Rihanna uses London Undeground for third time in six months
She's determined to use up all that credit on her Oyster card.
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Pasty Tax Latest: George Osborne says eat your sausage cold
Well that's Tulisa's excuse and she's sticking to it.
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Steve McClaren set for return to FA as Technical Director *
No word yet on whether he's bringing his brolly.
* Source - Daily Mail.
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Sex offenders, Drug dealers and Violent Thugs apply to be teachers!
More than 4,000 criminals tried to get jobs as Teachers in just one year! - but there is no record of how many were hired.
"Trying to learn off the kids no doubt!
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£2bn crime assets and fines unpaid!
Officials chasing criminal assets and other confiscated items worth £1.3 billion expect at least £750m of this never to be paid because they are either abroad or too well-hidden!
Or political party donors?
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Cameron Transparent
David Cameron is transparent. You can see right through him.
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written by
j.w., 28 March 2012
Tulisa ex: Doing sex tape was her idea
Justin Edwards told the media today 'She always wanted to be a famous film star'
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Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 3
"Raising Flowers"
by
Flo Rist
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50,000 foreign students went missing because of a major UK Border Agency blunder
Staff "did not check" if those granted visas became students. The flaws were predictable and avoidable!
300,000 foreign students and their families are given visas every year.
Big issue sellers?
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Pound Shop sells gents belts for only a Pound each!
Not surprising really I know.
But they are made in Italy, using Egyptian leather!
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Old Couple lose cat after 19 years!
Bartholomew (89) and Wilhemena (88) Otterswaithe said how they miss their cat Cameron.
Bartholomew added: "Mind you, it's the first meat we've been able to afford in months!
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Driver gets 3 speeding tickets in hour
34-year-old Jose Romero-Valenzuela of Las Vegas, was zooming west Wednesday morning and got pulled over three times - first at 105 mph, then at 98 mph and finally at 92 mph.
"He was slowing down?"
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Spanish town wants to grow cannabis to pay off debt
Rasquera, A small town in northeastern Spain, believes it has found a novel way to pay of its debt: Cultivating cannabis!
"Now there's a good idea!"
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Panda Dung Is Secret To Most Expensive Tea
41-year-old Chinese entrepreneur An Yanshi grows the tea in Ya'an in Sichuan province using excrement from pandas living at nearby breeding centres.
It costs £130 a cup!
"Expensive crap eh?"
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Scorned male fruit flies turn to booze!
Male fruit flies who have been sexually rejected turn to booze, a new study shows.
"Just like human males then!"
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Lindsay Lohan to be in 'Glee'
Lohan is to play herself on the Fox hit.The episode will be called Puberty
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written by
JAB, 28 March 2012
