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Rating:

Alphabet Soup Gang at It Again with "Jack Benny Cross Examination"

Jerk Killerkosky has a new weapon in the War on Drugs from Justice: Now, once the witness is sworn in, all the prosecution has to do is fold their arms and say, Well?

written by Oleg the Tumor, 18 June 2012
Rating:

Punctuation for Sale! Free Quotes on Quotes Over Quota! Reduced to Lowercase for Quick Sale!

Great Savings Online! Fancy Bartlett Quotation Marks! Semicolonoscopy Supplies! Thesaurus Swabs! Dash for Dots and Dashes!This Month Ladies Special: A Free Period! proceeds go to Mark's boat payment

written by Oleg the Tumor, 18 June 2012
Rating:

Ukrainian prostitutes go on strike!

Ukrainian prostitutes entertaining footy fans are going on strike because they keep having a coitus interruptus every time a goal is scored instead of finishing the job like Ronaldo, hard and fast!

written by Jaggedone, 18 June 2012
Rating:

BREAKING NEWS!! Lindsay Lohan Found Alive

Lindsay Lohan's publicist confirms that Lindsay was found alive this morning in her hotel room. Lindsay was found responsive, in her bed without any traces of drugs or alcohol in her system.

written by Chris Camarra, 18 June 2012
Rating:

Greeks save their own economy

The residents of Athens Greece have banded together to bail out the Greek economy by selling second hand clothes to Yankee dollar possessing tourists. Goat herders are even selling milk to Italians!!!

written by whatinthe world, 18 June 2012
Rating:

Obama Campaign Misrouted

Obama campaign manager Axelrod confirmed Air Force One was misdirected to Tehran Iran instead of a function in Chicago Illinois. All aboard, including President Obama, were arrested as spies.

written by Heeke, 18 June 2012
Rating:

UFO Lands at Buckingham Palace by Special Request of The Crown

The hatch opens. Out pops this guy with a stupid plumed hat stinking like a whore.
"Bonjour, mon ami!" he says, waving cheerfully.
"Jaysus" said a footman, "Are we ever screwed!"

written by Oleg the Tumor, 18 June 2012
Rating:

Special Addition to South Carolina Zombie Shoot

Just breaking, the zombies of several Al-Qaeda members have been captured and sent to South Carolina. The zombies will be used in a special "Hunt Achmed the Dead Terrorists Friends" event.

written by Heeke, 18 June 2012
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