Spoof news snippets from Sunday 29 July 2012

It's Only Money

The Duchy of Great Albion is to celebrate the end of its economic crisis with an almighty display of fireworks on 31st December 2012. 'We do have standards to uphold' declared a Blue party member.

Misunderstanding over multiple Boxing Day bookings

Ex-heavyweight Rocky Montayne, was set straight regarding the significance of Dec 26th by the WBF. 'I thought Boxing Day would be the best day to book up every venue in London,' claimed Montayne.

ASDFGH organisation launch protest against the QWERTY club

There has been a call for the reorganisation of all typewriter keyboards. 'The QWERTY bunch have had their own way for too long,' ASDFGH members claim. (The ZXCVBN group made no comment).

Let's Hear It for the Noise

Brian Blessed and Tom Baker are to face each other in a celebrity shouting match for charity. "I'll be starting with the famous 'To Be… or Not To Be…' speech from Hamlet," said Blessed.

Fashionable new 'Pi-jamas' released

This week, Olympus clothing company released their new range of stylish nightwear, including a pair of lightweight Greek cotton sleep-rags. They can be worn 7 hours a day for a 22-day period.

Empty Seats at Olympics

The army comes to the rescue again!

Happy Hypocondriac

One who is really ill

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 109

Patrons at OctoMom Stripping Gig Very Offended

Peggy and Walter Jenkins and other patrons who came to see the OctoMom say what should have been a lovely show was ruined by excessive cigarette smoke and heavy cussing in the nightclub.