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Rating:

Eric Cantona to run for French president

The seagulls will follow his campaign trawler, I mean bus.

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

David Cameron admits he plays Angry Bird pc game

Shocking! That's no way for a Tory PM to talk about Mrs Thatcher.

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Queens grocer in christmas hamper backlog

Two weeks late and still some Fortnum & Mason christmas hampers not delivered - perhaps they should rename them 'Olympic hampers'

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Like Everyone Else Romney Once Worried About Getting Fired

Unlike everyone else, Romney worried about getting fired from his job of firing people.

written by manbrad, 09 January 2012
Rating:

2.5million people watch BBC christmas day programmes on i-player on

It's not the same without the turkey though...

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Worral-Thompson apologies for theft.

"I never mean't to steal all this publicity. It's quite clear I need help" he said after journalists found him begging outside an Oxfordshire train station.

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Cameron backs curb on executive pay

Prime Ministers pay unaffected.

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

FA Cup: Thierry Henry SCORES for Arsenal!

Vava-Voom!

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Worral-Thompson arrested for stealing big cheese

"He thought it was Jamie Oliver's career" says shrink

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

JLS star buys 50k car for fiance

Rumours Anthony Worral Thompson has been sending Marvin begging letters have been denied.

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Tesco reveal poor christmas sales results

Turns out Anthony Worral Thompson lifted all the profits.

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

FA Cup team news: Arsenal v Leeds United

Thierry Henry on the bench alongside Theo Walcott.
"Thierry - didn't you used to be famous?"

written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Lib-Dem's biggest donor is arrested!

Michael Brown, The Liberal Democrats' biggest donor, who bankrolled the party with £2.4m of stolen money, was detained near the resort of Punta Cana on the Caribbean island this week.

"Ha ha ha!"

written by Inchcock, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Man Made Global Warming Has Prevented Ice Age

The Campaign for Optimistic News Headlines also produced, this week: 'Tsunamis Lead to Better Constructed Nuclear Power Stations', and 'Global Recession Promotes Public Understanding of Economics'.

written by Swan Morrison, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Tempus Fugit!

Recent reports that Prof Stephen Hawking could not attend his own 70th birthday celebration because he was 111 are not correct. The reports should have read that he was ill.

written by IN SEINE, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Anthony Worrall-Thompson's Recipe for Welsh Rarebit

… First, take some cheese.

written by IN SEINE, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Famous TV chef get's his fingers stuck in cheese at Tesco's!

Antony "Wally" Thompson has been nicked for shoplifting cheese at Tesco's. The hard up chef claimed innocence because he said he got his fat fingers stuck in the holy cheese, amen!

written by Jaggedone, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Curb on Boardroom Pay

David Cameron has announced a curb on Boardroom pay coming in when he has climbed Mount Everest

written by j.w., 09 January 2012
Rating:

Crocodile. snakes, and lizards stolen from Stockport!

Around 100 exotic animals - including a 5ft crocodile. snakes, and lizards - were swiped in a pet shop raid on a Stockport Pet shop.

"Very PETulant!"

written by Inchcock, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Cameron Tells off NHS Nurses

Cameron told the nurses off about lack of patient care problems, (being under-staffed and overworked) for which he and his ministers are responsible.

"I really hate that man, and his nepotistic cronies!"

written by Inchcock, 09 January 2012
Rating:

Brad Pitt say limp and cane due to busted knee, Viagra "accident" suspected instead

Limping with a cane, Brad Pitt appeared along side Ms. Jolie at a recent gala. Pitt claims he broke his daughter's fall and tore his ACL. Insiders say: "Bollocks! Popping too much Viagra is to blame!"

written by Lyndon, 09 January 2012
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