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Rating:

Cleaning vagrants

Argos have moved their vagrant cleaning products to the appropriate catalogue section after it was pointed out that sporting goods is the wrong place for trampoline.

written by IainB, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Nicotine patches may be addictive.

Nicotine patches may be addictive according to Doctors in the Uk with many paitents being prescribed cigarettes to help them deal with there craving.

written by Glen Jacobs, 30 January 2012
Rating:

London Tube staff reject £500 Olympics bonus deal

"Look - we want £1,000, tickets for the 100 metres final and the womens beach volleyball - non negotiable!"

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Child sent to school with a Smartie sandwich

That's disgusting! Even Katie Price sends her child with a much more substantial snickers sandwich.

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

'Only Fools And Horse' to be remade in America

"This time next year Rodney we'll be dollar millionaires".

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Home secretary approves police pay deal

Not as if it's her own money is it?

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Facebook: rise in use causes concern

Facebook the popular on line bullying tool has revealed that 70% of users are merely reporting on the minutiae of everyday life and not driving school friends to suicide or stalking ex partners.

written by D Agnew, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Portsmouth players are handed begging bowls instead of wages!

Pompey players were seen begging in town after their club refused to pay them their wages. The Chairman cancelled training and told the players, "begging is not a sin, not paying our taxes is!".

written by Jaggedone, 30 January 2012
Rating:

libya over taken by Wales as worst holiday

Popular holiday magazine "popular holidays" has named Wales as the worst place to stay. Knocking Libya off the top spot. Beirut is still at #3 followed closely by North Korea.

written by D Agnew, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Centre parcs to allow more poor people

posh holiday firm centre parcs has agreed to allow plebeians inside its forests parks. The new Pine-Gulag section should be open by March 2013.

written by D Agnew, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Earthquake watch

Haiti found to be nicer to look at afterearthquake say a team of homo sexual interior decorators.

written by D Agnew, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Joey Barton's uncle is a "Homo-Sapien"

Joey Barton has come out and admitted his uncle is a "Homo-Sapien" (the gay type). Joey is not one, a homo-sapien that is, he prefers to act like a primate, only difference is they have brains!

written by Jaggedone, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Olympic Misery

Transport Bosses have admitted that the Olympics will cause travel misery across London-and are urging commuters to 'go down the pub' to avoid lengthy delays..most were driven to drink years ago!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Fraudsters in the UK

'Extraordinary Year' for fraudsters in the UK....my, my those Parliamentarians have been busy boys and girls!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 30 January 2012
Rating:

First Sun journalists arrested in corruption investigation

Ouch! That must put a dent in the plans to launch a 'Sunday Sun' (to replace the News Of The World)

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Facebook close to $100m float

With $100m they could probably buy the Costa Concordia. Not sure if it will float though.

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Users boycott twitter over censor plans

Hello to all you new spoof readers out there

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

RBS chief Stephen Hester waives bonus of nearly £1m

waves it goodbye! (Hoorah!)

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Bob Geldof speaks about daughters pregnancy

"Do ya think Africa will raise some money for me this time?"

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Katie Price wins debate at Cambridge University

Ok. stop the world i want to get off...

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

MF Global money 'Vaporized'

Perhaps it was a David Blaine stunt?

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Cameron to quit

British PM, David Cameron, will resign from office at noon tomorrow. He says that he'd rather play cricket than put up with all those terrible constituents otherwise known as voters. More later today.

written by whatinthe world, 30 January 2012
Rating:

C4 axe Frankie Boyle's comedy show Tramadol Nights after just one series

Back to the BBC for the mild mannered Boyle then?

written by radiogagger, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Pay as you mow.

Electrical giant Bosh yesterday revealled that there top of the range lawnmowers would be available on a pay as you go bases. Top ups can then be purchased depending on the size of your lawn.

written by Glen Jacobs, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Man injured in botched suicide attempt.

A man from Bristol was left with serious head injuries after trying to hang himself with his braces but ended up fracturing his skull as the braces were elastic and propelled him into the cealing.

written by Glen Jacobs, 30 January 2012
Rating:

Audley Harrison is planning a surprise return to boxing!

The heavyweight Strictly Come Dancing star will fight Ali Adams at the Brentwood Centre on April 14 2012.

"Well he's got nerve, give him that much!"

written by Inchcock, 30 January 2012
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