Angela Merkel sticks her tongue down Sarkozy's throat!
In a desperate attempt to unite France & Germany Angela Merkel has stuck her tongue down Sarkozy's throat; in other words give him a "tres grandé" French smacker, German style!
Euro Zone Crises To Be Made Into a Feature Film Comedy By the Wayan Brothers
Lions Gate has announced the film with a fall of 2012 release date. It will star Chaz Bono in his/her first feature film as German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Cee Lo Green will play President Sarkozy
Prison Van Escape!
Prison Van Escape: Police Offer £10,000 reward, brother that's one expensive van, for that money I'd opt for a new one.
Asil Nadir 'stole'!
Tycoon Asil Nadir 'stole to boost Polly Peck's price'...man, that's one hell of an expensive hooker he took on there!
McDonalds to Create 2,000 new jobs in 2012
McDonalds have announced that they are creating 2,500 new jobs in the UK during 2012....the obese mass will be held on Clapham Common next Sunday when prayers will be offered up in gratitude.
"Don't Jail Drug Pushers!"
Well known pot head and all around nice guy, Sir Richard Branson says: "Don't jail drug pushers!"....how else is a chap supposed to get his regular suppy?
Yeti Lobster Terrorizes Cats
The Yeti Lobster has resurfaced in Key West only to terrorize the cats residing at the Hemingway House.
Van Persie denies rift with Arsene over Arshavin
"Mr Wenger promised me the physio was an expert at Brazilian waxes!"
UK Unemployment figures worst for 17 year!
"I wonder if David Cameron has been told about this - or if it bothers him at all?"
24 Jan 2012: UK Unemployment reaches 17-year High!
More than 1 in 4 workers are in part-time jobs - as unemployment hits a 17-year high!
UK unemployment rose to 2.69 million.
"Will someone please ask Cameron if he knows about this - he's not answering my emails!"
A Jobless graduate yesterday Sues the Government for "forcing" her to stack shelves in Poundland!
Graduate, Cait Reilly, 22 - who left Birmingham University in July 2010 - was told to do two weeks unpaid work at the city's bargain store or lose her Jobseeker's Allowance.
"What do you think?"
Nick Clegg warns Chris Huhne
24th Jan 2012: Nick Clegg yesterday warned Chris Huhne there is no chance of him staying in the Cabinet if he is charged with a criminal cover-up.
"He can stay on as an MP and Lib-dem member can he?"
Miliband: Polls? I take them with a pinch of sugar!
24 Jan 2012: The beleaguered Labour leader had meant to say "a pinch of salt".
Fuel Prices to Soar!
24 Jan 2012: Fuel prices could go up up to by 40% after Iran yesterday threatened to block the world's busiest shipping lane over sanctions to stop it building a nuclear bomb.
"Worrying isn't it?"
Silent Movie Set For Clean Sweep At Oscars
A delighted movie insider said last night "....................................!"
Pakistan Has Put Its Foot Down
Karachi, Pakistan is putting an end to its weekend elephant races after it was discovered that two of the elephants tested positive for alcohol.
It Does Take A Lot To Impress Michelle Obama's Hubby
The word is that President Obama was not really too impressed with Disney World and is considering selling it to China for $900,000.
Sarah Palin Continues To Pat Herself On Her Back
Dinosaur footprints were recently found in northern Alaska. Sarah Palin immediately remarked "Ya see, I knew I was right about global warming all along."
The DEA Said That It Gave It The Good Old Boy Try
The U.S. DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration's) new drug sniffing cow has not worked out due to the fact that it keeps stampeding.
Mitt Romney Is Looking To Get The Pope's Endorsement
Mitt Romney is so upset at losing to Newt Gingrich in the South Carolina primary that he told his wife that he may change his religion from Mormon to Catholic.
The Expert From Paris, France
Authorities in Idaho have reported that they have broken up a counterfeit potato ring. The group was caught thanks to the diligent work of one of the world's leading French Fry investigators.
Captain Francesco Schettino Is A Persona Non Grata
The captain of the Costa Concordia asked the producers of Dancing With The Stars if he could appear on the show. The producers replied "Hell no! Have you got rocks in your head or what?"
Home Runs Aren't As Easy As They Used To Be
A recent survey on dating by women in their late 20s shows that 80% are now waiting until at least the third date before they allow their boyfriends to get to third base.