Second Twitter Poster to Face Joke Trial
When an unnamed Post Office worker tried to drum up business for his employers by mentioning "GO POSTAL" in a message, they took it to be a menacing tweet
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Mitt Romney Announces Running Mate Choice
Republican nominee has said if he wins the nomination Jimmy Carter will be his Vice President. Reportedly the republican base is disenchanted while the democrat base is confused about who to vote for.
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Fabio Capello: Still Cannot Grasp English Language
When Fabio Capello said that he was resigning this morning, he thought that he was re-signing a new contract for three years as England manager. WOOPS!
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Boat Race to Become Boat Races in 2015
This is because of WOMEN sticking there oar in and will, let's face it, present a very big problem for Cockney rhyming slang.
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Farewell Fabio!
Now that Fabio Capello has resigned as England manager, makes the innocent Harry Redknapp the hot is one to be his replacement. This was England's finest hour - so far!
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Time Team Presenter Replaced by Younger Model
The 65-year-old presenter of Time Team is to be replaced. Co-presenter Tony Robinson said that "Mike looks like a relic himself and I am looking forward to working with a 30-year-old woman!"
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Adele says she thinks Karl Lagerfeld's designs are lovely
But she thinks he's a little too fatuous.
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Fabio Capello resigns as England manager!
I've just checked my diary - I'm available in June and July.
(Didn't get a single Olympic ticket since you ask)
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Up, up, up in a puff of smoke!
Would be celebrity chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall burns down his River Cottage Hideout whilst trying to boil a three minute egg, "I was distracted by a wild Fox"..says Hughie!
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Airbus A380 has cracks in its wings!
The jumbo Airbus A380 has cracks in it s wings, but don't worry, they're only small and the wings are huge, so they're safe. Passengers boarding the jumbo were issued the Bible and the Koran, amen!
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"Too Fat?"
Mentally challenged would-be designer, German Karl 'ja' Lagerfeld has branded pop icon Adele 'a little too fat'...he actually mean't to say gargantuan but could not spell it!
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Not Guilty M'lud
Harry Redknapp not guilty of tax evasion......regrettably his dog is and will be executed next week!
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Rock On Tommy!
Barnstorming line up for 'free' Queen's Diamond Jubilee Concert on June 4th..Cliff Richard, Elton John, Macca (crappa) Tom Jones, Shirley Bassey...all proudly sponsored by Philosan!
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Charles Dickens's 200th birthday
Google, Prince Charles, the archbishop of Canterbury and a host of writers and artists join bicentenary events.
My invitation must have got lost in the post.
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'Deport Abu Qatada before Olympics'
What event is he in?
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Fearne Cotton & Greg James lined up as replacement for Chirs Moyles on Radio 1.
Well, its a big seat to fill.
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Police officers "paid £100,000 by Murdoch newspapers
FBI investigates News Corp over corrupt foreign payments
by journalists to British police.
Nice work if you can get it...
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Leveson inquiry latest
About 11 million News International emails previously described as "permanently deleted" have been recovered are are being examined by police, Sue Akers tells Leveson.
Thought my inbox was bad...
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Network Rail directors forgo bonuses
Bankers take note...
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Man eats own beard.
A man from Norfolk who got lost walking his dog and slipped into a ditch says he survived for ten days by eating his own beard. The 74 year and his dog were both found by another local dog walker.
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Study confirms: You are more likely to die if taken to hospital at weekend!
Chances of recovery are less because doctors are absent and tests are not always available.
Study finds that Sunday patients are 16 per cent more likely to die than other days.
"Oh, flippin' 'eck!"
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