Order by:
Rating:

Redbull accidently sponsors rival drinks company.

Energy drinks giants redbull today said they will vet more closely at who it sponsors after it emerged they accidently sponsored a rival drinks company.

written by Glen Jacobs, 02 February 2012
Rating:

#4 wife at Gazebo on the Lake?

Inside source leak, Las Vegas: Newt to divorce 3rd wife, to marry Mrs Gingnotsorich 4!
He was knocked out by Floridian Mitty Romney last week.
Maids of Honor to be Paula Ronn and Ricaria Sanatorium.

written by Exislanda, 02 February 2012
Rating:

EGYPTIAN FOOTIE

Violence flares in Cairo after football deaths, one hell of a quick re-match eh!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Don't Cry For Me Argentina

Prince William arrives in the Falkland, how bloody nice for him...cheap deal via Thomsons was it Willie?

written by Herrdoktorfox, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Mark Kennedy Affair Leads Police To Withdraw Other Undercover Officers

'We will be recalling Nick Clegg with immediate effect,' said a spokesperson for the Metropolitan Police. 'We have, however, already gained invaluable information about Tory plans.'

written by Swan Morrison, 02 February 2012
Rating:

BBC presenters are "wankers" claims US comic!

US stand-up comic, Dave Fulton, called Bill Turnbull and Sian Williams wankers on the BBC breakfast bore today. Sian apologised to the OAP's watching, but Bill agreed, after all he is a "tosser"

written by Jaggedone, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Vote:

Who do you admire most of the GOP candidates?
Or do you prefer the American public who refuse to vote for these clowns.

written by Exislanda, 02 February 2012
Rating:

'Escaped Large Cats Association' Admit To Gloucestershire Deer Killings

'We wild cats are out there in the English countryside,' said a spokescat. 'We want to be left in peace, but will target livestock until those who need to get a life, return to chasing poltergeist.'

written by Swan Morrison, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Duke Of Cambridge To Undertake Tour Of Duty As RAF Pilot In Falklands

'It's great royal PR,' said a Palace spokesman. 'It would've been better if he'd done the Bin Laden and Somalia missions with US Navy Seal Team Six, but he's done a hell of a lot better than his dad.'

written by Swan Morrison, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Sharing.......

If every person on Facebook were to get a share, it would be like MITM Romney giving 25c to all the poor in USA. Not enough to go round!

written by Exislanda, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Punxsutawney Phil sees own shadow, is scared of it

Punxsutawney Phil emerged today from his hole, saw his own shadow, and raced away in great distress. At age 120, it is feared that the groundhog has reached either stage six or seven of Alzheimer's.

written by Lyndon, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Residents in shock as child is told off

Police were called to a house in Margate, Kent by neighbours after they overheard a child being told off by his mother. The child was happily throwing stones at our greenhouse, neighbours told police.

written by Glen Jacobs, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Abbatoir Manager calling it quits

The manager of a abbatoir has resigned following leaks about his management style. He was too fond of "ribbing" his employees and wouldn't relent from "roasting" his deputy manager about his "hammy".

written by whatinthe world, 02 February 2012
Rating:

BBC Breakfast apology after US guest swears.

'Hello to all you f****rs out there. Errr, i mean truckers'

written by radiogagger, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Alan Hansen takes Match of the Day pay cut

The money will be used to pay for a translator instead.

written by radiogagger, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Twitter 'more addictive than cigarettes'

i'm on 140 a day.

written by radiogagger, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Audience figures: Radio 4's Today closes in on Radio 1's Chris Moyles

It's the brains verses the boring.

written by radiogagger, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Independent Scotland to stick with sterling

They're gonna rename it the 'pooond'

written by radiogagger, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Met Office issues severe weather alert

Watch out, there is lots of weather coming to a town near you.

written by radiogagger, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Bad weather: Man falls on ice

According to the trip advisey website, he really enjoyed it and has booked again for next year.

written by radiogagger, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Titanic Violin Appears on EBay

VIOLIN FOR SALE: circa 1912, slightly damp - reputedly from RMS Titanic.

written by IN SEINE, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Good news is the super Bowl ?

The good news is the Super Bowl the Bad News is Jack Nicholson still can't get enough votes for nurse Rachette to turn on the game ?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Dirty Dozen 2 1/2 ?

Like Leslie Neilsons Naked Gun 2 1/2 where instead of Lee Marvin and OJ Teli Savalas can play Marvins place and Prince can do OJs and Ernest Borgnine can still be Mchale and drive a Taxi in New York ?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 02 February 2012
Rating:

'Gone Fishing'


Pond Bodies: Both men drowned according to post mortem....really, I'd have put money on heatstrokes myself!!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 02 February 2012
Rating:

From Riverside With Love ?

You know how when you turn 5O you have to take a mandatory Proctology exam for colon cancer? Well now you just have to smear a stool sample on a postcard and send it in to the lab BS or Horse Manure?

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 02 February 2012
Rating:

I Couldn't Afford Supper Cuts so I went to a barber ?

I was a Mexican market and paid with my credit card where all so had to show my license. Where cashier looked at my picture and asked what happened to your long hair and I replied "I went to Rudy's!"

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 02 February 2012
Rating:

David Beckham launches his underwear range at H&M

Footballer David Beckham made an appearance at a London H&M store to mark the launch of his collaboration with the Swedish retailer.

"And he only got £1m for doing it!"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 23

Pledge Made 12.03.11:
To set up a UK Border Police Force.

Pledge made by: Conservatives

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 22

Pledge Made:
No cuts to the Royal Navy.

Pledge made by: Liam Fox - Conservative

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 21

Pledge Made 2010:
Stopping A&E and maternity closures.

Pledge made by: Conservative Manifesto 2010

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 20

Pledge Made 03.03.08:
Three more army battalions.

Pledge made by: David Cameron at the Conservative Party Conference.

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 19

Pledge Made 29.05.10:
No bonuses above £29,000, for bank directors.


Pledge made by: Lib-Dem (Nick Clegg)


"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 18

Pledge Made 02.01.10:
Keeping the Future Jobs Fund.

Pledge made by: Conservatives - David Cameron

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 17

Pledge Made: 22.10.10
To pay for an extra 3,000 police on the beat.

Pledged by: Nick Clegg, Lib-Dem

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 16

Pledge Made:01.05.10
To Keep VAT at 17.5%

Source: (George Osborne - Nick Clegg
Pledge made by: Conservatives & Lib-Dem


"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 15

Pledge Made 02.05.10:
Any cabinet minister who proposed front line cuts would "be sent straight back to their department to go away and think again."

Source: David Cameron
Pledge made by: Conservatives


"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 14

Pledge Made 20.10.11 :
Fair pricing for rail travel.

Source: Coalition programme for government
Manifesto origin: Liberal Democrats


"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 13

Pledge Made 18/11/2010:
Deny public funds to groups that have recently espoused or incited violence or hatred.

Source: Coalition programme for government
Manifesto origin: Neither

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 12

Pledge Made 20.07.10:
Extend anonymity in rape cases to defendants

Source: Coalition programme for government
Manifesto origin: Both parties


"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 11

Pledge Made:
Ban the sale of alcohol below cost price.

Source: Coalition programme for government
Manifesto origin: Both parties


"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 10

Pledge Made 01.12.11:
Launch a national 'big society day'

Source: Cabinet Office 'Building the Big Society' document
Manifesto origin: Conservatives


"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 9

Pledge Made 21.05.10:
Stop the top-down reorganisations of the NHS.

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 8

Pledge Made 01.07.10:
Primary care trusts to commission residual services best undertaken at a wider level and take responsibility for improving public health.

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 7

Pledge Made 17.04.11: Directly-elected members of primary care trusts.

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 6

Pledge Made 15.10.10: Public bodies to publish all job titles online and the salaries and expenses of senior staff who earn more than the lowest band one salary

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 5

Pledge Made 08.11.10: New protections for whistleblowers in the public sector'

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 4

Pledge Made 05.07.10: Dissolution of a fixed-term parliament if 55% or more of MPs vote in favour.

"Pledge Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 3

Pledge Made 28.07.10: Increase the target for energy from renewable sources.

"Not Kept"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 2

Pledge Made 01/12/2010: We will find a practical way to make small business rate relief automatic.

"Not Kept!"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Coalition Pledge Not Kept - 1

Pledge Made 09/02/2010: Robust action to tackle unacceptable bonuses in the financial services sector.

"Not Kept!"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

The Illegal Aliens Just Keep On Going North

Many illegal aliens from Mexico, El Salvador, and Guatemala are having a hard time finding jobs in America so they are sneaking into Canada and working in the igloo construction business.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 February 2012
Rating:

You Cannot Say That Certain "T" Word In Iowa

The governor of Iowa has just banned the use of the word "Twitter." He is reported to have stated that the word just has that curse word sound about it.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Ron Paul Comments About Mickey and Donald

Congressman Ron Paul says he wants everyone to know that the rumors that he will be running campaign ads on The Disney Channel are totally false.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Paula Abdul Heard Simon Cowell But She Just Wasn't Listening

Simon Cowell stated that when he fired X-Factor judge Paula Abdul she kinda looked at him like he was talking Greek. "The Sultan of Sarcasm" finally called up Gary Busey and he had him tell her.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Football Transfer Fees

Fulham bid £8.35m for Dortmund Lucas Barrice.

Chelsea bid £44m for Torres from Liverpool.

Nottingham Forest OAP fan, forced to pay £1.17 for a cuppa at QMC hospital!

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Prince Andrew: "At least we've our own currency"

Daily Mail: He boasted it had another huge advantage - its own currency, not the ailing euro.

"Yes, but some of 'us' have more than others!"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Dixons chief John Browett leaves to join Apple

He will be responsible for Apple's retail strategy and the continued expansion of the technology giant's stores.

"He should do well, after all he's brought Dixons (+ Curry's & PC World) to their financial knees!"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

William Hague flies to the UN in New York

For talks over a draft resolution demanding that President Bashar Assad step aside.

"I wonder who he'll sleep with in the hotel bedroom this time?"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Demi Moore a glutton for punishment

Actress Demi Moore has demanded that Police arrest her and handcuff, gag and tie her to a chair. "I just love the thought of being dominated by six brawny policeman" she said. Moore wants more, yeah.

written by whatinthe world, 02 February 2012
Rating:

Prince Harry says: Queen fulfils duties that "she shouldn't be doing at her age"

She should try duties like elderly Spoofer's have to do, like:
* Queuing up for a bus-pass
* Explaining to Gas Co, why she cannot pay the bill
* Waiting for 5 months for her NHS hearing aids repair

"Well..."

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
Rating:

75 captives in cell made for 4 as evil hijackers are rounded up

Pirates, Murderers and al Shabaab terrorists endure 24 hours a day in a cage with no basic sanitation.

Prisoner's rattling the single door has his hands bashed by guards.

"Great... tell Ken Clarke someone!"

written by Inchcock, 02 February 2012
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