Spoof news snippets from Monday 3 December 2012
Gay activists demand a Gay Santa!
Global gay activists have had enough and now they are demanding a gay Santa or they will boycott Christmas because the other one is gay all year and only at Christmas is he straight, ask Rudolph!
Paddy Power are already offering odds on Royal Baby name.
While Elizabeth and Diana are out right favorites for girls one punter has placed a 100-30 bet on the new baby being a future King named Kong.
Chelsea Deny Royal Link.
Chelsea Football Club this evening issued a denial after reports linked them with a deal to make The Duchess of Cambridge's unborn baby their new interim manager.
What's Cooking?
Royal Kate has a bun in the oven..god help her if it's ginger!!
"Hipsters" A-Rod and Jets Sanchez to have joint surgeries
Alex Rodriguez will undergo surgery on his left hip.
As a coutesy to NY fans, surgeons will also perfom dual lobotomies on A-Rod and Sanchez, the 2 most over-payed and lamb-brained NY-sportsters.
UK ambassador recalled from Israel
David Cameron recalled the UK's ambassador from Tel Aviv today. Ambassador Matthew Gould is now the bookies favorite to become the next Chelsea manager.
McElroy does what Tebow can't
World golf number one Rory McElroy made a surprise appearance for the New York Jets. He threw clean passes and led the team to a win. Something Tim Tebow has never managed in a Jets uniform.
Wolves boss Stale Solbakken close to the sack
The former boss of West Midlands rivals Aston Villa and Birmingham, Alex McLeish, is in the running to take over.
That'll go down well at Molineux.
After that McLeish fancies the West Brom job.
Olly Murs tops both the UK singles and album music charts
He beat off competition from Bruno Mars, Ke$ha and Alicia Keys.
And they say the charts mean nothing.