Bank Holiday Deluge Forecast
Drought predicted.
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Julian Assange escapes UK police Ecudorian Embassy
Cunningly disguised as cricket legend David Gower!
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Bad headline: number 108
SALE: GET 50% OFF OR HALF-PRICE, WHICHEVER IS LESS
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Employee of the Year killed two and then hid in bed
It's the dreaded curse of the 'Employee of the year' award.
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Land Rover Defender XTech gets makeover!
Sun Review Video
And they are Priced from only £27,995! A snippet!
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Ridiculous true call No.8 to emergency services revealed
A Glasgow man rang 999, to ask if the local pub was open and sold Newcastle Brown!
"?"
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Ridiculous true call No.7 to emergency services revealed
One caller in Yorkshire rang 999 last to report a fight between Stacy Slater and Archie Mitchell from the 2009 Christmas episode of EastEnders!
"Honestly... it's true!"
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Ridiculous true call No.6 to emergency services revealed
A Manchester man called 999 asking "How long it would take to defrost his Christmas turkey!"
"A foul call this one!"
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Ridiculous true call No.5 to emergency services revealed
A Nottingham man called the services when the local benefits office refused his claim for a new DVD player!
"Did he want to watch the 1996 film 'The Scrounger?' then?"
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Ridiculous true call No.4 to emergency services revealed
One woman even dialled operators after she left her bag in the seat of a cab and wanted police to follow the taxi to retrieve it!
"Bless her!"
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Ridiculous true call No.3 to emergency services revealed
A man rang in because the light was not working in the phone box as he was trying to tell relatives he had accidentally got off at the wrong rail stop!
"Railly bad that!"
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Ridiculous true call No.2 to emergency services revealed
A woman phoned emergency services to ask police to test her plug sockets after the fire service refused!
"Shocking!"
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Ridiculous true call to emergency services revealed
"Hello, 999? I can't find my glasses"
'I see!'
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Mitt Romney 'Oops' Moment
Right about now: Is Mitt Romney having a giant Texas size Rick Perry 'oops' moment about his pick of Paul Ryan for vice president?
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Porn industry shut down due to discover of tertiary syphilis
Apparently no one had noticed the soft, tumor-like balls on a porno actor until recently. He'd long complained of poor balance and lightning stomach pains, but these were just chalked up to old age.
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written by
Lyndon, 21 August 2012
Julie Andrews to Sing Again!
Oh fuck.
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11th hidden control on iPhone headphones discovered
You can't just fast-forward, replay, skip songs, and answer phone calls by entering secret tap codes into your iPhone headphones. They will also go to the bathroom for you, right in your pants.
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written by
Lyndon, 21 August 2012
Assange appears on TV
Julian Assange has made a surprise appearance on the BBC2 programme QI. Saying he was bored with the whole Wikileaks thing, Assange stood up and sang the Star Spangled Banner before leaving.
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Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 120
" Irish Flooring"
by
Lynn O'Leum
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The number of jobs available in UK fell last month
"Thank you Mr Cameron, Mr Osborne, and Mr Brown who started the rot!"
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