Largest Python Caught in Florida
A red-neck on an airboat has caught the world's largest Burmese python - which begs the question is it Burmese or is it Floridian?… Or is it just lost?
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Bill Gates calls Madonna an XOR
After the Russian minister called Madonna an ex-whore, Bill Gates has joined in and said that with her doing either one thing, or the other, but not both nor neither, she was actually an XOR.
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written by
IainB, 14 August 2012
Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 114
THE GANGSTERS
by
Robin Steele
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Milton Keynes Man Refused 2nd Polygraph Test
A Milton Keynes man who was suspected of robbery, was refused a second polygraph test. A police spokesman said: "we had to do this because it could not be re-lied upon."
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Obama to NASA: Let me Know if You Find Aliens...
so I can tax them.
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Hussy
Jennifer Aniston about to tie knot again, the bitch...never rang back after our last date then cheats on me!
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Giant python caught in Florida swallowed Grandma!
A giant python caught in Florida was only caught because it had just swallowed a 92 year-old granny jogging in the Everglades and it ended up with belly cramps, the python that is!
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Ronaldo and Messi go head to head before a ball is kicked!
Ronaldo and Messi are challenging before a ball has been kicked in vain in Spain. UEFA are voting for their best player and the Euro Gay Soccer Ass. are voting for their most hunky player! No contest!
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Anniston in box seat
Jennifer Anniston has announced her engagement to a three by four metre cardboard box. The obvious question, why? "Well, why not?" replied the Emmy winner. Anniston will wed her beau in February next.
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Jennifer Anniston to wed again
Jennifer Anniston has announced her engagment to a 4 metre tall giraffe. "I just love to nuzzle his long neck" she revealed as she rode semi naked on his skinny back. Good on you Jen and happy travels
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Anniston to wed gator
Jennifer Anniston has announced her engagement to a three metre alligator from Florida. "He's got great teeth" she declared as she rode on his back while it swam through the Everglades near Miami.
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Odds on Wayne Rooney's next club have been shortened!
It's now 8/11 Stringfellows, 3/1 Spearmint Rhino.
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Roy Hodgson wants his England team to show Olympic spirit!
Roy Hodgson has urged his England stars to emulate Team GB and make the country proud.
"Why not wish for politicians to be honest and world peace - as much chance of success!"
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Michael Gove is under fire for selling playing fields to Tesco!
The Education Secretary has given "approval in principle" for Newquay Tretherras Academy in Cornwall to sell land and buildings to Tesco.
"Every little helps?"
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Olympic Football final: Brazil 1 - Mexico 2
Brazils record vs Mexico
Played 38 - Won 22 Drawn 6 - Lost 10
No big surprise then surelyly?
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Unemployed working for free in a shop is not 'slavery'
Unemployed graduate Cait Reilly launched a legal battle after she was told she must work for free at the Pound store or risk losing her benefits - she lost!
"Rule Britannia!"
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Olympic closing ceremony security risk level raised!
The UK Government have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved".
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Curiosity killed the cat--or a Martian--due to erratic driving
The Mars rover "Curiosity" will most certainly kill something if there is, indeed, life on Mars. "Bastard drives like a drunken bumkin," claims one NASA technician. "We'll find it ass-end up one day."
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written by
Lyndon, 14 August 2012
