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Rating:

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 20

"Living in Paris"

by

Francis Crowded

written by IN SEINE, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Facebook buy Instagram for $1 billion.

Maan - If I had a billion dollars I'd be buying strppergrams.

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Adele beats Cheryl Cole on Rich List of young music stars

On the plus side for Cheryl, Adele will spend more on food, so the situation could be reversed next year...

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

David Cameron invites Aung San Suu Kyi to UK

Burma's pro-democracy campaigner will visit UK later this year.

"Good, give her a chance to talk with other nationalities, Polish, Slovenian, Iraqi, Lithuanian, Bulgarian, Slovakian etc.!"

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

4 year old with 159 IQ joins Mensa.

Rumours she will take Alan Davies place on QI have been denied. David Cameron is expected to announce her appointment as Policy Manager at PMQs on Wednesday.

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Extended Forecast:

Global warming through the weekend followed by gradual global cooling through Wednesday.

written by Adam Click, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Failure to Launch

North Korea to add Viagra to rocket fuel in hopes of keeping it up longer.

written by Adam Click, 14 April 2012
Rating:

It's the Pitts.

Jolie & Brad to tie knot after 7 years, this was considered less painful than an all out vascetomy according to Mr Pitt who, whilst enjoying nightly sex with Angie has been firing blanks for years!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Stick it!

As a final nail in it's forthcoming coffin non-lateral thinking Royal Mail has 'capped' the number of stamps punters can buy prior to imposing a crucifying price hike...bye, bye, Royal Mail RIP!!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Bazza strikes again!

Barry "two sheds" McGauhey of 9 Flintlock Close West Yorkshire has built another shed. When authorities find out there will be a commotion of the like never seen in this part of the world. Go Barry!

written by whatinthe world, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Buck-it!

KFC were rapped by Facebook users for running an advert telling people 'not to forget buying a bucket of chicken while worrying about the tsunami'
The Colonel will be turning in his grave...

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Obama's Secret Service agents sent home from Summit of Americas for misconduct

The alleged misconduct may have involved prostitutes in Cartagena, site of the Summit of the Americas. DNC's Hilary Rosen,who created a stir over Ann Romney, said, "At least they're working women"

written by JAB, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Snippets weekly Omnibus moved from sundays to friday nights

Perfect for insomniacs!

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Sir Bruce Forsyth to join Bob Dylan at Hop Farm festival

So we'll go from Brucies chin to Blowin' in the wind.

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Tulisa's ex-boyfriend to make pop video inspired by sex-tape

Well it saves money on scriptwriters.

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

George Zimmerman denies second degree murder

"I've never been to university!"

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Circulation of The Sun Sunday drops to 2.4m

600,000 people woke up on a sunday morning and smelt the coffee...

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

FA Cup semi-final: Chelsea team news

GLENN HODDLE reckons Chelsea may field a weak(ened) side in FA Cup semi-final.

Fernando Torres upfront then?

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Alex Ferguson tells Mancini: Mind games won't work!

"Or will they?" hmmm...

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Mount Etna rumbles!

Don't we all first thing in the morning?

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Liverpool owner Henry snubs FA Cup semi-final.

Liverpool owner John W Henry will miss Saturday's FA Cup semi-final after flying to America to watch Boston Red Sox.

Could have been worse, he could have gone to the Boston Party

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Reason Revealed For Formula One Grand Prix Tedium

'We only hold one Grand Prix every few years,' admitted Bernie Ecclestone. 'We then replay that film with a different commentary on other occasions. I'm amazed that no fan has ever noticed.'

written by Swan Morrison, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Boris bans Anti-Gary adverts from buses.

Christians claim they have a cure for Gary Glitter.

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

BBC moves Eastenders omnibus from Sunday to Friday night

Perfect for insomniacs

written by radiogagger, 14 April 2012
Rating:

14th April 2012: Voting Intentions Poll

Lab 40% - Con 35% Lib 9% Other 16%

"Why are Labour not doing better?... oh yes, Miliband!"

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

14 Apr 12: UK will be blasted by another bout of Arctic weather!

Over the next few days - with temperatures plunging to their lowest since Christmas!

"Shit!"

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Overnight discharges from NHS hospitals to be examined

"Yes they kicked me out at 0545hrs after a nurse appeared saying "Come on Mr *, your leaving we need the bed for an emergency! 5 days after my heart surgery"

Bless them!

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Artist loo roll with face of Adolf Hitler on every sheet!

Artist defends loo roll with face of Adolf Hitler on every sheet!

Hitler Loo Roll photo

"Brown sheets eh?"

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Six-legged calf beat the odds to become a mini celebrity

Seven-week-old calf Lilli defied a vet's prediction that she wouldn't life past birth and is now thriving in her native Switzerland.

The Mirror

"Amazing!"

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Frozen in time: Woolly mammoth with strawberry-blonde hair found in Siberia

"Yes, I saw one shopping in my local Iceland freezer centre last week!"

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Scotch on the rockets: Malt whisky blasted into space to mature in zero gravity

Malt whisky was sent into space in an unmanned cargo spacecraft last October to see how zero gravity affects the maturing process.

"Good idea, don't spend money on the poor or sick eh?"

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

World's Smallest Car Is Back

The three-wheeled P50 and Trident-which look like something out of Benny Hill's greatest dreams-have three wheels, are made of fiberglass, and weigh less than 200 pounds.

The Peel micro-car Returns

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Four prisoners in four days go missing from HMP Sudbury

"What do they expect - it is an Open Prison!"

BBC News

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Man proposes to partner who stabbed him!

Man proposes to partner in court as she is sent down for stabbing him in the back with a kitchen knife.

"The pillock!"

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Cornish MPs could form alliance to stop 'pasty tax'

Politicians from Cornwall could link up with those from pie heartland in north of England to defeat tax, says Lib Dem

"Go for it!"

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

Queens Granddaughter rushed to hospital after Pony fall

I bet she didn't have to wait 3½hrs in A&E like wot I had to last week!

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
Rating:

UK Riots may be controlled with chemicals

Police look at firing chemical irritants at rioters in search for 'less lethal' weapons, such as plastic bullets, to deal with civil disorder riots!

"What's wrong with real bullets? More effective!"

written by Inchcock, 14 April 2012
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