Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 11 April 2012

Government Plans To Tax Super Rich Will Hurt Charity Incomes

'Shit,' said David Cameron to reporters. 'We may have to start thinking-through our policies in future rather than saying the first thing we think of that we believe Daily Mail readers will like.'

North Korea about to launch rocket without a "navi"!

The world is holds its breath as those dastardly North Koreans are about to launch their rocket. They do have one major problem they forgot to put a navi in it so they don't even know where its going!

Hawaii Number 10-0?

Part time PM Do-nothing-Dave currently on another holiday- in South East Asia-due to visit Indonesia-hopefully just as the Tsunami arrives Sam packed his shorts and surf board for him in readiness!

South Of The Border.

UK Border Agency 'failing to deport criminals'....tell us something we DON'T know cobbers!!

Bad Headline: Number 101

WOMAN IMPROVING AFTER FATAL CRASH

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 17

Homelessness charities demand missing £5m from Boris Johnson

Charities fear London mayor has diverted £5.3m of government funds pledged to rough sleepers to other unspecified purposes.

"Fat chance!"

UK demands £45m war debt from Argentina

UK Government is chasing a £45m debt owed by Argentina on a 1979 loan that the country's ruling military junta spent on weapons used to invade the Falkland Islands.

"Oh yes, I'm sure we'll get that!"

10-05-12: Voting Intentions Poll

Con's 33%
Labour 42%
Lib-Dems 8%
Others 18%

Labour in the lead having done nothing constructive.

Shows how sad they all are!

Jailed Expense Cheats go back to the House of Lords!

The Tory peers, Lord Hanningfield and Lord Taylor of Warwick, will be able to resume their seats and claim their £300-a-day allowances!

"Makes you sick doesn't it!"

Obama does a Singing Condemnation of Syria's Assad with help from Edwin Starr

War, huh, yeah /What is it good for/Absolutely nothing/Uh-huh/War, huh, yeah/
What is it good for/Absolutely nothing/Say it again, y'all/War, huh, good God/
What is it good for/Absolutely nothing

State officials clarify earlier remarks about Clinton and North Korea

"We did not mean to infer that the Secretary would wipe down her granny panties, but that she'd appear with UN Secretary Ban Ki-moon," said a newly hired spokesman.

Santorum says he will suspend campaign but 'not done fighting'

"We won 11 states and millions of votes. We won more counties than all the other people in this race combined," Santorum said, "That's a lot of votes when I get on 'Dancing with the Stars'"

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton warns North Korea over rocket launch

Clinton says the US would pursue "appropriate action." Officials would not preclude the Secretary, standing on the Demilitarized Zone and "mooning the North Korean regime, if demands are not met"

Fat or Fiction

A study shows thousands of children are at risk of becoming obese because of their genes.

A separate study claims it is in fact cakes.