Paul Scholes supports Tevez, so do many Man Utd fans!
Paul Scholes has come out in support of Tevez after he refused to play for the spoilt millionaires. Many Man Utd fans also support him because without him City are crap!
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85 year-old Tony Bennett tops US charts!
Ancient croner, 85 year-old Tony Bennett, has topped the US charts, he needed a Zimmerframe to get there!
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Carlos Tevez is transferred to Northern Ireland!
Man City reject, Tevez, has been loaned to a club in Northern Ireland. The IRA have promised him a warm welcome and if he kicks a ball for the protestant bastards, they'll knee cap him! Ouch
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4 x 4 vehicle found on Snowdown, lazy bugger!
A 4 x 4 vehicle was found on the summit of Snowdown, the driver afterwards admitted, "I'm just a lazy bugger and I forgot my hiking boots!"
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Chinese launch space lab and it reaches Hong Kong!
The Chinese attempted to launch a space lab to try and find Chairman Mao in heaven, but it only reached Hong Kong because it run out of petrol.
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Blind, autistic genius teaches Elton John what real music is!
A blind, autistic musical genius has been giving Elton John lessons in how to play real music and then "blew his candle out"!
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Berlusconi is 75 and for his birthday he got a 15 year old!
Viagra top-man, Italian Prime Minister is 75, his wife gave him a 15 year old as a present and she hasn't seen him since!
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Germany bails out Greece and then invades them!
Germany has decided to bail out Greece as long as it's allowed to invade them; Germans love Greek wine, tsatsiki and their olives!
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Rio Ferdinand cheated in private, now it's public!
Rio Ferdinand has tried to keep his secret a secret by not telling his wife that he cheated on her so he told the Tabloids instead!
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Tsunami donation found on the bog!
A mysterious donation to the Japanese tsunami fund was found on a bog, but it didn't stink!
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Pitbull bites writing hand off of Spoof writer!
A raging pitbull has bitten the hand off of an infamous Spoof writer and now he's suffering from 'writers block'!
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Yum Yum - Chinese in Space
The intergalactic fast food war has begun with the first Chinese launching in to space today. 'Velly good' said a racist stereotyping observer earlier.
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Aliens Invade Earth
Earth has been invaded by aliens. The aliens say they can do a better job at ruling our countries than our current leaders. With that, we warmly welcome our new and slimy masters.
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Dinosaur, Tokyo, What now???
A giant 150' Tyrannosaurus has been seen terrorizing Tokyo today. The city is in shock.All are now speaking with an American accent, but their lips are moving late. We need a miracle or a giant spider
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The Obama - Clinton Golf Game Was A Big Success
President Obama and former President Clinton played a game of golf and they even made a friendly wager. Obama lost and so Bill gets to go out on a date with Michelle.
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The Hair Raising Meeting Between Mitt Romney and Donald Trump
Mitt Romney met with Donald Trump. They talked about the economy and then really got down to business talking about hairdos, shampoos, hair dryers, combs, and split ends.
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The GOP Presidential List Keeps Growing
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is throwing his hat into the GOP presidential campaign. Rumors flying around say that Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, and Beep Beep the Roadrunner could be next.
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Herman Cain Says He Be Goin' To Da White House Sho Nuff
After GOP black candidate Herman Cain won big in Florida he had some new campaign buttons printed. They read, "I told y'all dat I be kickin' me some honky butt, fa shizzle ma nizzle ah huh!"
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Iran: 50% of city dwellers proud of their new "Ghader" missile, the other 50% ashamed to be poor
President Ahmadinejad recently touted the "Ghader", a new Iranian-made missile that can sink warships. Reports indicate that 50% of Iranian city dwellers are proud, the same 50% not living in poverty.
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written by
Lyndon, 29 September 2011
Gotcha, Gotcha
Rabid environmentalists are like government committees that need to find more work, by creating non-existent problems to solve so they can keep receiving money!
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Coffee Cake Crisis
A Washington DC rumor has it that Air Force One transports three dozen Danish from Copenhagen every day for the senior White House staff. This makes the disputed Hilton's $16 DOJ muffins look cheap!
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Democratic Election Strategy for 2012
There are 78 million dogs in the USA. President Obama is asking Congress to pass a Dogs Bill allowing these canines to vote in the 2012 presidential election. They must be over 18 in doggie years!
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Wise Investment Strategy
Investors are fleeing from gold and buying pork bellies. After all in an economic emergency you can't eat gold, but a pork roast in your basement freezer makes good sense!
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It's Warm In Southern California
West Hollywood California has banned the wearing of animal fur. Dogs, cats, squirrels and raccoons have until June 2012 to remove their fur coats or to leave town!
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Earthquake not the Cause
Engineers have determined that the damage to the Washington Monument was caused by the first US president's anger at the Obama administration and unelected bureaucrats ignoring the US Constitution!
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Ignoring the Will of the People
Democratic far left bureaucrats continue to ignore the will of the people, legislators & governors when it comes to illegal immigrants, unions & the environment saying "we know better than you!"
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He Wears Left Wing Tip Shoes
LONE RANGER: Pres. Obama blames his problems with the American public on his failure to communicate. TONTO: Actually, the American public understands that Obama speaks with forked tongue!
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