Message in a bottle
A message in a bottle released by the real Robinson Crusoe in 1782 washed up on a beach in Dartmouth today. "I read the message," said the finder. "It said: 'no milk today thank you'."
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written by
IainB, 26 September 2011
Infinite Number of Virtual Monkeys Produce Entire Works of Shakespeare
It is claimed that an infinite number of virtual monkeys have finally managed to produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Previously, the monkeys were used to write the entire EU manifesto.
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World War II Shipwreck Reveals £155 Million Worth of Silver
A cargo ship which was sunk by a torpedo 300 miles off the Irish coast was found to contain 7,000,000 ounces of silver. It is due to be entered into the Guinness Book of Wreck Hoards.
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Mexican kidnappers kidnap Berbatov!
Dimitar Berbatov was kidnapped by a gang of Mexican kidnappers. They demanded that when he plays instead of Chicharito he plays crap, they released him within 24 hours, he agreed and Stoke were happy!
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Christain prophet enters gay bars in Chicago!
A Christian prophet has been entering the once "cauldrons of hell", gay bars, to recruit new members because God can't touch straight people any more, they're too busy on the internet!
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The Political Endorsements Are Starting To Fly
Noted actors Russell Crowe and Jack Nicholson have endorsed Rick Perry. Meanwhile Michele Bachmann says that she has been endorsed by Sponge Bob Square Pants, Barbie, and Ken.
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The NFL Football Player With A Very 'Unusual' Name
Philadelphia Eagles cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha is one NFL football player that drives spell check crazy.
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Michael Moore and Ron Paul Are Joining Forces
Michael Moore is getting ready to make a movie about Ron Paul entitled Ron Paul And His Old Geezer Rides Again Bus Tour. Moore says he has offered the lead role to Don Rickles.
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Jose Canseco's Next Book Will Deal With The World of Politics
Former baseball player Jose Canseco who wrote an exposé on steroid use in baseball is planning on writing a book titled, The Day That I Almost Took Steroids With Michele Bachmann.
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Low Probability
A man walks into a bar in Toronto Canada with a solar panel stuck in his ear and asks the bartender what the odds are of getting hit by a piece of the falling six ton satellite.
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Obama Administration Destroys the Power Tool Industry
The Consumer Products Safety Commission wants to regulate table saws in the guise of increasing blade safety. What the CPSC will do is price the table saw out of the market for hobbyists/woodworkers!
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Corporate Welfare Protester Hypocrites
Wall Street protesters want free health care & an end to subsidies for oil companies. However, taxpayer funded $535 million for Solyndra and $100 million for green auto parts is acceptable to them!
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More Dysfunctional Environmentalist Prattle
NASA satellites reveal ocean levels are decreasing, contrary to the rants of rabid environmentalists. The loons retort, this indicates people are taking too many showers and we face a water shortage!
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New Government Health Study
Study results indicate that if the EPA persists in constantly raising environment standards, 20,000 Americans will succumb to starvation because of a family breadwinner losing his/her job!
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Whose Ox is Being Gored?
Maryland & Louisiana Democratic Senators upset over mandated wage hikes to guest workers who hand process seafood. If they were Colorado migrant farm workers, the Senators would support an increase!
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Obama's Anti-Jobs Plan
Pres. Obama rejects $8.7 B sale of 66 new F-16 fighter planes to Taiwan (creates 16,000 jobs). Rabid environmentalists ask the president to forgo a $7 B Canadian pipeline deal (creates 20,000 jobs).
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