Piranhas attack Thames tug and she sinks!
A seldom attack by Amazon piranhas in the Thames, UK, today caused a Thames tug to sink, it had a hole in her bottom. The piranhas luckily missed David Walliams, they were feeling charitable!
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What Really Killed the Dinosaurs
Scientists now believe that dinosaurs had feathers. It is quite possible that they died out because they lost their plumage and were therefore no longer able to attract a mate in order to procreate.
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Pope Asks UK Catholics To Abstain From Meat For Friday Penance
'We are making no allegations,' said a spokesman for the Federation of Meat Producers, 'but we believe that large donations made to the Vatican by the fishing industry need to be fully investigated.'
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Anderson Cooper Says He Misses The Good Old Hurricane Days
Anderson Cooper says he misses the days when he used to report while standing in a hurricane with his hair and make up all messed up and with damn minnows swimming around in his Fruit of The Looms.
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Michele "Hair Spray" Bachmann Sticks Her Big Old Foot In Her Big Old Mouth (Again!)
Michele Bachmann who keeps losing ground in the GOP Presidential Poll reportedly confided to a close friend that she hates the polls because they are stupid, dumb, and stupid.
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President Obama Knows That Cows Can Be Feisty
President Obama says after giving it some thought he's decided against raising cattle in the White House backyard and he'll just have the cooks continue shopping for meat at the grocery store.
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The Tea Bag Party Membership Keeps Falling Down Like LeAnn Rimes Underwear
If The Tea Bag Party keeps on losing members at the rate that it is, it may find itself having to start recruiting illegal aliens to get the membership numbers back up.
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Ron Paul and Michele Bachmann Both Insist That They Are Not That Boring
The last GOP Presidential Debate was so boring that most people switched over to The Weather Channel's special titled "Dew and How It Interacts With The Reproductive System of The Dung Beetle."
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Leave It To Jon Huntsman
Jon Huntsman still needs a little bit of maturing to do. When asked which American he admired the most he paused for a second and then replied, Beaver Cleaver.
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Brutha Herman Cain Just Ain't Too Popular At All
GOP black candidate Herman Cain took his The I Just Be Chilaxin Bus Tour to Tucson, Arizona where he spoke at a city park in front of two people; and one of them was his bus driver.
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Rick Perry - The Man Who Adheres To The Adage, One Riot - One Texas Ranger
Rick Perry was asked what he thought about the other seven candidates ganging up on him at the last debate. He said that they're all just a but a bunch of p*ssies, except for Bachmann who's a d*ck.
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Joan Rivers and Ron Paul Are Both As Old-As-The-Hills
Joan Rivers says that she is not positive but thinks that she may have dated Ron Paul back during World War II. He was a skinny sailor from Texas, and she was a Jewish streetwalker from Brooklyn.
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Mitt Romney Could Have The Gay Vote All 'Locked Up'
Mitt Romney agreed that more females find Rick Perry's hairdo better looking than his, but he was quick to point out that more males find his hairdo to be better looking that Perry's.
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Slippery Slope
Standard and Poor's (S&P) has downgraded President Obama from the "anointed one" to the "economically clueless one" citing his latest tax, spend and stimulus proposal!
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Fast Food
President Obama has invited rank and file Democrats to dinner, but asks for a small campaign contribution. Isn't that like having to bring your own brown bag lunch?
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Washington DC Goes Green
The EPA has mandated that all high priced Washington DC call girls wear green dresses and recyclable green underwear!
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Worry, Worry, Worry
Columbia University Democratic far left wing professors say Libya instituting Shariah law is perfectly in accordance with democratic principles and is nothing to worry about!
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Little Obama
DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz has been nicknamed "Little Obama." She fixed the blame for the highly Democratic NY district Congressional seat loss on everything but Pres. Obama's policies!
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Republicans Capture Democratic NY Congressional District
WH Press Secretary Carney says "special elections are unique and don't reveal much about the outcome of future regularly scheduled votes." Besides the WH pays me to say this political bullshit!
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Obama's New Book
President Obama already has a book contract with a publisher, scheduled for February 2013. The new book is to be called "Obama, Memoirs of a One Term President."
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Good Advice
DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz has written a letter to the Obama administration and Democratic liberals in Congress, not to let the door hit them in the arse on the way out in 2013!
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King Obama I Didn't Talk to Spain
The community organizer in chief says other countries are investing heavily in solar and the global market is going to be worth trillions of dollars.
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Obama's NLRB, Unions and Boeing
Obama administration officials insist the NLRB is an independent agency, whose members are presidential appointees but not directed by the president. Ha, Ha, more King Obama I bullshit!
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Policy Wonks
Democratic President Obama's clueless economic policy may only be exceeded by Republican Presidential candidate Ron Paul's postulated clueless foreign policy!
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Don't You Wish She Said This
House Minority Leader Pelosi, (D-CA) asked Republicans to investigate Pres. Barack Obama giving taxpayer funded loan guarantees to political contributor owned companies, as an impeachable offense!
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Makes Perfect Bureaucratic Sense
A new study finds bigger jellyfish are inheriting the oceans. The EPA bans eating peanut butter within 100 feet of the shoreline!
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Try to Collect
Hurricane Irene dumps debris into the Chesapeake Bay. EPA fines the storm $25,000 per day and bans hurricanes from ever again entering the bay!
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Every City Water System being Non-Compliant
EPA wants to reduce the amount of Arsenic in water. A comment from the West Wing was heard "has there been a spate of Arsenic poisonings in the US, I haven't heard of?"
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Any Other Candidates
The Democratic far left believes Pres. Obama has moved too far to the center in accommodating Republican demands and wants a smarter primary challenger. Daffy Duck said he is not available!
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Liars, Liars and Damn Liars
EPA says it doesn't have specific major regulations for agriculture, points to reports of new dust regulations as false. Congressional committees point to regulation of particle emissions (dust)!
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Selective Memory
Arabs remember the Christian Crusades. But Arabs have amnesia for their new best friend Turkey, where the Turkish Ottoman Empire (Muslims) repressed Arabs in the early part of the 20th century!
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