Steve McClaren resigns from Nottingham Forest!
Mr McClaren said: "I've been in danger of becoming a confirmed Nottinghamian for ages now, redundant and unemployed! So I got out quick before it came ingrained!
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Norwegian footballer heads a wonder goal!
A Norwegian footballer who headed a wonder goal from inside his own half is now being treated for migrane!
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Marshall Islands create huge shark sanctuary, surfers are welcome!
The Marshall Islands have created the world's largest shark sanctuary and have told surfers; they are very welcome too!
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Scientists prove that alcohol get's you pissed!
A new scientific survey has confirmed the fact; drinking alcohol get's you pissed!
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Surviving Beatles attend George Harrison's standing up!
The surviving Beatles have attended George Harrison's Premiere not requiring zimmerframes, in fact they all were standing after a "Hard day's night". Yoko Ono refused to sing, thank God!
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Shares fall as the Acropolis crumbles!
International shares are falling as the Greek Acropolis crumbles. The Greek government have called in 300 Spartans to stop the rot!
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The Dog's Handler Noticed The Dog's Bow-Wow Was Sounding Too Mellow
It's sad to report but Rover Boy, the DEA's top drug sniffing dog has entered into a drug rehab clinic. Rover Boy's handler said he caught the pooch hiding crack cocaine underneath his doggy dish.
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Ron Paul Sure Got Their Attention Up In San Fransissyco
Ron Paul sure came out swinging against Michele Bachmann. He spoke at an interior designers meeting and said that she dislikes gays and lesbians so much that she wants to ban the color pink.
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Herman Cain Says His 'Giddy Up' Has Got Some 'Vamoose'
Herman Cain was asked what his thoughts on GOP maven Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter are. The black GOPer did not miss a beat as he replied, "Well you put a saddle on da bitch and I'll ride her anywhere."
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Rick Santorum Needs To Never Set His Honky Foot In Mississippi
Rick Santorum has apologized for referring to Mississippi as "That damn cotton pickin' southern state." He says what he really meant to say was "That damn banjo pickin' southern state."
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Harold Camping Is Good At Predicting Sarah Palin Stuff
Harold Camping says people made fun of his predictions. But he did correctly predict Sarah Palin's affair with Glen Rice, her affair with Todd's business partner, and her affair with the Vibro KY-18.
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Delaware Will Not Put Up With Elderly Inking
Delaware has just passed a law making it illegal for any elderly citizen to have a tattoo. Senior citizens will be given the option of having the tattoos removed or forced to move to Arizona.
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Gosh Bubba, The Tornado Looks Like It's Pretty Clos....[SWISH]
A pair of gung ho tornado chasers in Missouri got a little too close to a powerful tornado and found their asses up in an Iowa cornfield.
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Well Shucks Pa, So Now It Just Be You And Me And The Nine Younguns
The state of Arkansas is reminding its citizens that effective 2012, the age old practice of listing goats as dependents on income tax returns will no longer be allowed.
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Ron Paul - The Man With An Honest Crotch Region
Ron Paul was asked if he'd ever had a case of erectile dysfunction. He confessed he did have an ED one time but added that it was no big deal because his wife was out of town visiting her mother.
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Yes It Will Certainly Be 1, 2, 3, Strikes You're Out
Ohio has passed a law that will prohibit Major League Baseball managers from wearing baseball uniforms. The new law states that old, fat, grouchy men in baseball uniforms look silly as hell.
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Wall Street Protest Freeloaders
Protesters tell people who worked for 50 years, put their kids through college, skipped vacations and saved for their retirement that they're so upset about not being able to pay off college loans!
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Wall Street Protesters Should be at the White House
The NYC Wall Street protestors should be railing against President Obama's clueless, incompetent and corrupt economic policies that destroy, rather than create any US jobs for them!
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New Careers
Hollywood plans to do a film biography of the Marx Brothers in 2013. Groucho, Harpo, Zeppo, Chico, and Gummo will be played by Obama, Biden, Carney, Gibbs and Axelrod, respectively!
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What an Interesting Choice of Words
Presidential Advisor Axelrod indicates the reelection of President Obama will be a "Titanic struggle!" He recommends rearranging the deck chairs, hiring a band and more waiters!
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Surprise, Surprise
Health care costs in Maryland rise 9% while wages increase 2% (inflation). So much for ObamaCare (one size fits all) and Obamanomics benefiting the American worker!
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Political Epiphany
Have you noticed that when you ask an incumbent politician seeking reelection a tough question, you never get a straight answer?
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Taxi Mister
Greece may have to fire 30,000 workers to meet lenders imposed deficit targets for avoiding default. New York City and other major American cities are bracing for an influx of new cab drivers!
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If You Can't Fix It, Tax It
Congress passes bipartisan legislation to "tax the stupid" within the Obama administration, the added revenue would be used to balance the 2012 budget. The president is expected to veto this bill!
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