Underwear bomber explodes in court after eating prison beans!
The "Underwear Bomber" on trial for attempting to bomb a plane with his underwear has exploded in court, it was an overdose of prison beans!
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Afghan opium production rises 60% ask the GI's why?!
Afghan opium production is rocketing and it's main buyers are stoned GI's searching for a "Ground Hog Day" in Vietnam!
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UK & US forces storm Somali pirate ship!
UK & US forces storm a Somali pirate ship, their Captain called Dep, jumped overboard and was devoured by hungry sharks!
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Women gives birth during marathon!
A marathon mum gave birth during her race, the baby crawled home in 6 hours, but mum failed to complete the course!
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Blackberry is working again, it was just squashed!
Blackberry have apologised for their lack of services over the last 24 hours, someone trod on it and squashed it!
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Vitamin pills shorten life, but extend sex-life!
Scientists have discovered swallowing vitamin pills for longer periods shortens one's life, but they also discovered for short periods they extend one's sex-life; pill-poppers unite!
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Chelsea fans and Euromillionaires buy Chelsea FC!
After winning the jackpot on the "Eurolottery", Chelsea fanatics, Dave and Angela, have decided to make Chelsea pure British again by buying it off of Abramovich. "Thank God for Europe," they said!
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11% of British Graduates turn to life of Crime
Although not all of the 11% become Members of Parliament!
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Nick Clegg urges lawyers to open the profession to all backgrounds
The Deputy Prime Minister tells lawyers their cloistered legal world should be opened up to people from a wider range of backgrounds.
"It's about time that honest people were given the opportunity!"
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Michele Bachmann And Herman Cain Chickened Out Of The Question
Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain refused to answer if they believe that Mormon Mitt Romney is a Christian or not. Cain did admit that Bachmann is a female and Bachmann did admit that Cain is black.
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Jon Huntsman Has Just Shown His Campaign Is In Deep #2
Mitt Romney angrily remarked that he is not the next George Bush. Jon Huntsman said that if it'll get him some votes he'll gladly admit to being the next George Bush.
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Sonic Is Moving Into The New Age
Sonic Drive Ins are doing away with the age old tradition of car hop tipping and are replacing it with a 20 percent food delivery service charge.
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One Wife At A Time Is Plenty For Any U.S. Male
Mitt Romney, who is a Mormon, has promised that if he is elected president he will only have one first lady and not four or five like some of Michele Bachmann's supporters have suggested.
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Plans scrapped for Christie-themed parade balloon
TRENTON, Nj--Plans have been put on hold to create a life-size Thanksgiving parade balloon of New Jersey governor Christie. Feedback from child-centered test groups include "Too big" and "Too scary."
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written by
Lyndon, 11 October 2011
