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Rating:

Scientists Utilize Rodent Power

Rodents are set to power the cities of the future after scientists this month announced the development of electricity-generating mouse exercise wheels.

written by Darwin, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Al-Qaeda Formally Thanks UK Border Agency

'We have absolutely no idea how we could have got terrorists into the UK without that minor lapse by the UK Border Agency,' admitted a relieved Ayman al-Zawahiri, boss of Al-Qaeda.

written by Swan Morrison, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Jacko's doc found guilty, his motive; he fell in love with Bubbles!

Michael Jackson's doc has been found guilty of manslaughter and his motive was; he fell in love with Bubbles and wanted him all for himself. what a load of old Monkey business!

written by Jaggedone, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Cain to call Bialek a lying "Biatch" at 3 p.m. news conference

Rep. presidential candidate Herman Cain will respond at a 3 p.m. news conference to the allegations made yesterday by Sharon Bialek. Reps close to Cain intimate that he'll call her a lying "biatch."

written by Lyndon, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Berlusconi shown what a 'well-hung' Italian leader looks like

Angela Merkel flashes him the last pictures of Mussolini.

written by pinxit, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Frankie Cocozza exits X-Factor

Wannabee retard Frankie Cocozza has quit the X-Factor to pursue his other career as a talentless tattooed wanker and wick dipper.

written by Herrdoktorfox, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Chelsea Stadium to be renamed the Tampax Stadium.

Extra stewards will be drafted in to cope with the increase in Pre Match Tension.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Herman Cain Reveals Secret Campaign Slogan

"Hold the pepperoni."

written by Michael Balton, 08 November 2011
Rating:

New UK Border Agency Revelation - Passports Not Checked On Border Between Scotland and England

'I'm shocked and appalled,' said Home Secretary, Theresa May. 'We do not know how many people with unhealthy lifestyles and incomprehensible accents may now be at large in England.'

written by Swan Morrison, 08 November 2011
Rating:

White House Denial of ET Contacts Confirms UFO Cover-Up Conspiracy Claim UFO Hunters

'Why would they deny it so categorically if they weren't hiding something,' said one UFO hunter. 'It's like the captain of an aircraft suddenly announcing that there's no cause for alarm.'

written by Swan Morrison, 08 November 2011
Rating:

A Bottle of Whisky before lunch?

The Drinks Council advocate it and say the result is staggering.

written by ExiledRoyal, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Jimmy Savile's resting place

Breaking News: Jimmy Savile to be buried in Cigarborough

written by ExiledRoyal, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Rick Perry Makes Some Comments On Herman Cain's Black Hat

Rick Perry has said that Herman Cain really needs to stop wearing that black cowboy hat. One, he looks like a Brooklyn pimp. Two, he's wearing it backwards. And three, it's a woman's hat.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 November 2011
Rating:

John Boehner Talks About Those Ever-Present Teardrops

Speaker of the House John Boehner appeared on ABC's This Week and was asked about his incessant crying. He replied that he is controlling it and that now he only cries about three times a day.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Mr. and Mrs. Jon Huntsman Have A Very Strict Housework Policy

Jon Huntsman was to have appeared on CNN's State of the Union Sunday program but cancelled due to the fact that it was his weekend to clean the house.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 November 2011
Rating:

Ron "Of The Mixed Metaphors" Paul Speaks Out

Ron Paul appeared on Meet The Press and stated he's tired of Herman Cain yelling and hollering at the news media. Paul said that Cain made the pizza mess and now he has to face the pizza music.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 November 2011
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