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Rating:

Racist Tram Outburst

The woman in the Croydon Tram racist outburst video has shocked me to my very core....without a doubt the worst ventriloquist I have ever seen. She would not last 5 seconds on Britains Got Talent!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 29 November 2011
Rating:

George 'Abacus' Osborne Autumn Address

Key points from George 'Abacus' Osbornes speech today.
"Basically the UK is completely buggered and we don't have a fucking clue!"

written by Herrdoktorfox, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Ford to reprise Indiana Jones role at 70

Harrison Ford is to reprise his role as Indiana Jones at the age of 70, the fifth instalment is provisionally entitled: "Incontinent Jones and the leaking Colostomy Bag"

written by Herrdoktorfox, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Off to never never land

Dr. Conrad Murray seeks a personal physician that will administer him nightly doses of propofol to help him sleep as he prepares for 4 years in prison.

written by The San Francisco Onion, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Iranian hooligans storm UK Embassy in Teheran, how dare they!

The UK Embassy in Teheran has been stormed by a bunch of Iranian hooligans dressed as students. They were searching for a decent cuppa tea because Iranian tea stinks and is full of neutrons!

written by Jaggedone, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Concern That Voice Of TV Choirmaster, Gareth Malone, Might Unbreak Before His Next TV Series

'He appeared about 16 years old in his first TV series. In his last he seemed about 12,' said a concerned BBC spokesman. 'His voice may well unbreak before the next, when we estimate he will be 10.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Public Sector Pensioners Speak Out Against Strike

'Those selfish bastards need to keep working to support existing public sector pensioners,' said a spokesman. 'Yachts in the Seychelles don't pay for themselves!'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Katia Zatuliveter Delighted At Judgement She Is Not A Russian Spy

'Vladimir will be so relieved,' she muttered to herself as the judgement was read, 'so will my current lovers, Dave and Nick.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Norway mass-murderer declared a "loony"; what a surprise!

Norway Nazi mass-murderer, Anders Behring Breivik, has officially been declared a total loony. Mass-murderers normally are not quite sane or are they?

written by Jaggedone, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Is Chelsea's Juan Mata, in financial trouble?

It was reported in a local paper that Juan Mata, transferred from Valencia to Chelsea for £27.5m, and on £115384.65 a week wages, has failed to pay a £15 litter fine.

Could we have a collection for him?

written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Occupy Campsites Movement Causes Confusion

'Many of our campsites have been filled with tents and temporary shelters,' said a spokesman for the Camping and Caravanning Club. 'So far, we have no clear idea of the purpose of this protest.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Tanker crashes closes M1

The M1 was closed for several hours yeasterday when a tanker full of Marmite crashed into a caravan. In a survey of stranded drives, some of them loved the delay and some of them hated it.

written by IainB, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Soccer headings harmful to head, beheadings even more so

Doctors maintain that soccer players who average over 1,000 headings per year risk effects similar to those of head trauma. However, even 2,000-plus headings don't come close to a beheading.

written by Lyndon, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Nottingham city centre restaurant owners say that changes to parking charges will hurt their businesses

On-street parking in the city used to be free after 6pm. But since November 14, charges have applied from 6pm until 8pm.

"I can't understand their problem, just look at how many other businesses have collapsed already in Nottingham... are they moaning?"

written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Guess who's wife is selling Christmas cards at over £13 each?

Samantha Cameron's Bond Street stationery firm is selling luxury Christmas cards at more than £13 EACH!.

"Well who'd have believed it?"

written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
Rating:

For George Osborne, unemployment is a price worth paying!

Oh I am glad!

I'm sure the 2.68 million people unemployed might disagree with the millionaire Minister!

written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
Rating:

UK - 60,00 criminals spared jail - despite committing over 15 crimes each!

What was it Cameron pledged?

"To scrap the early release of prisoners, toughen prison regimes, and protect the public from criminals?" - Ha!

written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Outlook for UK jobs worsens!

The independent Office for Budget Responsibility is to downgrade its previous prediction that job cuts will be outweighed by expansion in the private sector. The figures will be grim!

"Fancy that!"

written by Inchcock, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Arizona Just Says No To New Moms

The state of Arizona has just passed a law making it illegal for women to breastfeed in prisons, Pizza Huts, court rooms, dental offices, and churches.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 November 2011
Rating:

The Reverend Al Sharpton Sees Things A Little Bit Differently

Reverend Al Sharpton says he is glad that Black Friday is over because he was getting sick and tired of white folks using that racist term over, and over, and over.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona Has Made His GOP Choice

Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, considered the toughest sheriff in the U.S., said that he will endorse Rick Perry. He added that Michele Bachmann just needs to get her cute little butt out of the way.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 November 2011
Rating:

An Educational Newsflash!

A teacher in Iowa reports that a student's dog really did eat his homework.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 November 2011
Rating:

Arizona Stands Up To The Plate

The state of Arizona is the first state in the nation to do away with the medical term erectile dysfunction and replace it with the more appropriate and politically correct term - limp winky.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 29 November 2011
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