Does this fossil prove northern Europe's first human was a
President of... Torquay? (WTF? - Ed)
Sometimes It's Hard Being a Woman
On the one hand, scientists say that red wine can combat the effects of serious diseases, yet, on the other hand, one glass, just one glass, can increase the chance of breast cancer.
Japanese restaurant proves that if you pay peanuts you get monkeys!
A Japanese restaurant owner has proven to the world that if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys, literally! He has 2 of them serving in his establishment and he's doing plenty of "monkey business!"
Herman Cain to end toppings jokes
Herman Cain will end his "How about some Cain toppings on your pizza" jokes after several women complained about feeling uncomfortable around him.
What Have The Greeks Ever Done For Us?
Ermmm....Plato, Homer, Democracy, civilisation as we know it...
Jon Huntsman - GOP's Plain Vanilla Candidate
Jon Huntsman told a crowd in Denver, that no one has to worry about any women coming out of his past and accusing him of sexual harassment. And taking a close look at him he is certainly right.
Rick Perry Tells It Like It Darn Well Is
Rick Perry commenting on Herman Cain's "PizzaGate" matter suggested that it looks like the brutha better start putting in his application at the various pizza companies.
Mitt Romney Talks Openly About Herman "The Player" Cain
Mitt Romney remarked that Herman Cain is sure starting to look a lot more like Tiger Woods with each passing day, except that Woods is a lot younger, richer, and only dabbled in Blondes.
Michele Bachmann Seems A Bit Confused
Michele Bachmann was asked about the mess Herman Cain is in. She smiled and asked the reporter which of the many messes was he talking about, "CigaretteGate? PizzaGate? or BasketballGate?"
Squatters are as bad as thieves!
Justice Minister Ken Clarke MP QC: Says 'Squatters as bad as thieves'
Would that include tax fiddling MPs, Ministers who do not pay their taxes, Ministers who are nepotists by any chance?
Jack Straw took undeclared cash from car insurance industry!
The former Labour cabinet minister Jack Straw was paid £5,000 by the motor insurance industry for a speech and question-and-answer session.
Well I am surprised!
BT Have Crossed Wires
Tragedy struck when British Telecom inadvertently rerouted phone calls for the Suicide Hotline to the Nike Athletic Shoe Company instead, where callers were greeted with the slogan "Just do it."
Countries who persecute homosexuals will see the amount of aid money they receive from the UK cut, Cameron announces!
Pensioners about to freeze to death, unemployment at a record high, police stations fire-bombed, daily protests, food prices rising, and the unfair cut-backs... is that all he is worried about?
Cameron says ships can fire back at Somali pirates!
Mr Cameron said: Ships sailing under our flag will for the first time be allowed to hire armed guards.
What about the proletariat shooting, lying, moral-hijacking crooked MPs?
The Problem is Solved
President Obama directs the FDA, via executive order, to speed up the process for getting scarce drugs to ailing patients. The FDA recommends elimination of 5,000 regulations!
Change in US Policy Towards Iran
Iran's demands for a US apology and cash over assassination plot charges have been referred to former Republican VP Dick Cheney, who President Obama has appointed as his "Negotiations Czar!"
Another alternate energy company is declaring bankruptcy after the Obama administration loaned it $500 million to develop solar powered buggy whips and electric horseshoes!
What a Deal
Greece wants the USA and European banks to bail them out so that their citizens can continue to retire at 55 years old, while Americans and German citizens work till they're 65 years old!
200 porta-potties have been delivered to the Occupy Wall Street protesters in NYC. They have to be shared, but provide cold weather shelter, other necessary functions and have an OCCUPIED sign!
Latest Democratic Party Election Strategy
DNC secretly donates money to Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) to run as a conservative third party candidate. This ploy is the only way President Obama can win reelection against a Republican in 2012!