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Rating:

Ed Miliband to wed in Nott's

The hideaway Langar Hall hotel near Nottingham is where the couple will marry on May 27th.
Labour voters are concerned that he will remain in a hideaway, where he's been since coming to power!

written by Inchcock, 25 May 2011
Rating:

José Mourinho offers Sir Alex his tactics, "kick the shit out of them!"

After beating Barcelona in the Spanish Cup final and kicking the crap out of them, "The Special One" thinks it's the only way of beating them, Sir Alex agreed, Paul Scholes will certainly play!

written by Jaggedone, 25 May 2011
Rating:

Like The Song Says, "By The Time I Get To Phoenix"

The state of California in order to ease prison overcrowding has no choice but to release 35,000 prisoners. They plan to bus the entire 35,000 inmates under cover of the night to nearby Arizona.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 May 2011
Rating:

Al Roker and Charlie Sheen Better Beware of Sarah Palin

Today Show weatherman Al Roker said the weather's really been strange lately. Meanwhile out in California Charlie Sheen said beer is wet, the sky is high, and he can count to ten using both hands.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 May 2011
Rating:

Vice-President Joe Biden Is The Acting President

With President Obama out of the country VP Joe Biden is in charge. He's already outlawed Donald Trump's hair, banned Sarah Palin from the Lower 48, and sold Manhattan back to the Indians for $124,000.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 May 2011
Rating:

That Tim Pawlenty Sure Does Have His Priorities In Order

Tim Pawlenty told a group of three supporters in Des Moines, Iowa that when he is elected president one of his priorities will be to figure out this 'paper or plastic' controversy once and for all.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 May 2011
Rating:

So Is He Implying That Maids Look Like Hookers or What?

Dominique Strauss-Kahn says that he actually thought that the maid was one of Charlie Sheen's hookers and had he known that she was actually a maid he would never have bothered her.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 May 2011
Rating:

Has The Dude Ever Even Left The State (At Least Once!)

Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels has just announced that he has decided not to run for president of the United States. Okay...and just who the hell is Mitch Daniels again?

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 May 2011
Rating:

Ann Coulter, Unlike Sarah Palin Does Know Her Geography

GOP mouthpiece Ann Coulter says if Sarah Palin runs for president she will write in Paris Hilton's name since at least she knows that Kenya is not in Central America.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 May 2011
Rating:

Vice-President Joe Biden Does Love To Put The Brewski's Away

Chrysler says that they will repay the U.S. $7.5 billion in government loans. Since President Obama is still out of the country, Vice-President Joe Biden yells out, "Alrighty, drinks are on me."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 May 2011
Rating:

No rain forecast this Summer

Wheat prices took off at the news that no rain was forecast for England this summer. The Government realised that Scottish Independence was the only way to survive.

written by j.w., 25 May 2011
Rating:

Gag Shambles Condemned

A comedy show has presented a shambles of a programme that has not one good joke in it. Critics are speechless at the dearth of gags.

written by j.w., 25 May 2011
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