Male Spoof Writers Distracted
Male spoof writers are having difficulty concentrating on their writing due to the hot girl on the Snorgtees advertisement. "One head is full of story ideas, but my other is focused on her".
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written by
Pariah, 14 May 2011
British People Failed to Recognise Bible Phrases
It is claimed that a majority of British people cannot recognise biblical phrases. It is almost certainly because the majority of British people are Muslim
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Pippa's bum shaped cake to be centrepiece at QPR celebration
Pippa's the party planner for the QPR celebration 'do'. One request - a caked shaped like her bum so all the players 'get a piece'. See related story.
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In Milton Keynes Today…
A house was broken into today and 3 bottles of washing-up liquid, 6 bars of soap, a chamois leather, 2 scrubbing brushes and a vacuum cleaner were stolen. Police say the thief made a clean getaway!
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Sheen's 2 And A Half Men Replacement Named
Warner Brothers Television has revealed the identity of Charlie Sheen's replacement on the hit show "Two And A Half Men".
Its Mel Gibson.
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written by
grimbo, 14 May 2011
Life Found to Be No.1 Sexually Transmitted Disease
NEW YORK - The United Nations Organisation has found out that life is a contagious STD, with over 6.9bn cases worldwide. They say that Life, a Class-A disease, has a 100% mortality rate.
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Legal ban on twits.
A High Court judge has issued an injunction which bans twits from talking.
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Dead Or Alive To Advertise Rotisserie Machine
The 80's band will be using their most popular hit to sell these cooking devices. The commercials will play the song with mildly different lyrics of "You Spin Meat Right Round Baby Right Round."
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written by
Pariah, 14 May 2011
Who The Hell Is Pippa Middleton
A study conducted in the USA shows Americans have no clue who Pippa Middleton is, The few folks who thought they knew who she was when asked to describe her, described Pippi Longstocking instead.
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written by
Pariah, 14 May 2011
Justin Bieber Caught With Embarrassing Photo of Pippa
Fans are shocked to hear that Justin Bieber was caught red-handed (and red-faced)using a photo of Pippa Middleton to pleasure himself in his tourbus. He was heard moaning "I wish I were a princess!!"
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Bi-polarism Finally Put Into Layman's Terms
A prominent psychiatrist has simplified the definition of "bi-polar" so that the general public may understand it: "Some days, you feel like the top dog, while others you feel like the fire hydrant."
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Doctor Sued
A doctor who had a practice in the Merry Hill Shopping Centre, Dudley, has been sued for mall practice
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Liverpool "Benefit Cheat" Appeals
A man on benefits living in Liverpool was caught by the authorities for doing haircuts. He claims that he only does mohawk style and therefore only cuts it on the side.
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Millwall fan gets the hump.
I was having the football banter with a Millwall fan the other day.
He came out with the usual bollocks "no one likes us, we don't care".
I said "I like you".
That shut the cunt up!
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Strategic Illness
I have noticed how deposed tyrants and their wives become ill just when they might go on trial to get sympathy. But if I am ill and can't go to work I get called a scrounger.
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written by
j.w., 14 May 2011
No Fridge!
The fridge has broken down. Panic. Neighbores you can't stand visited on your knees with frozen burgers : 'You don't buy those do you?' Another fridge. Deliveery in 5 days, 3 days. Meanwhile the Bores
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written by
j.w., 14 May 2011
No Comment Needed
A prominent politician has written a book about experiencing Hurricane Katrina. In it he states "that was the best blow job I have ever experienced!"
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A Lose-Lose Situation
The field of potential Republican candidates won't defeat President Obama in November 2012. A failing US Economy, continued job losses, higher taxes, higher energy costs and over regulation will!
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Phone Company Upgrade
Voyeur Phone System now offers video phones as well as audio. The Customer Service Vice President says "the billing rates are twice as expensive as the other guys, but our customers don't care!"
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Political Party Symbol
When the Democratic Party was taken over by the extreme left wing, the donkey was replaced by an ass!
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Individual Liberties
That 18th century document called "The US Constitution" is what prevents today's loony left wing liberal minority from imposing their wacko socialistic ideas on all Americans!
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Pure Supposition
US AG Eric Holder seems to investigate anything he desires. Washington DC insiders believe it's because of his incriminating pictures of top Democratic Executive and Legislative Branch personal!
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Bugged Bugs
Rabid environmentalists ask the US Interior Department Secretary to put radio transmitters on some bugs. Thus, when someone steps on the wrong cockroach, the wacko's will know about it!
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He Said
LONE RANGER: President Obama said the US Mexican border is safe. TONTO: He also said that the federal government has laid-off workers, when federal employment has increased by 10% in two years!
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Grand Old Party
In GOP, the operative word is "old!" Why all the retread candidates for US president, where are the young experience fiscal conservative candidates hiding in the Republican Party or the Tea Party?
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Friend or Foe
President Obama is to deliver a major address on Middle East & Pakistan policy, identifying good-good, bad-bad, good-bad & bad-good countries. This will allow for the USA to determine whom to support!
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