Now Finally, Mickey D's Knows What Kids Want In Their Happy Meals
McDonald's has just announced that in a move to make its Happy Meal prizes more practical. It will soon be placing Do-It-Yourself DNA Kits in each Happy Meal Box.
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Oprah Winfrey and Glenn Beck Are Both Honored
Chicago dedicates a street in honor of Oprah Winfrey; Oprah Winfrey Way. Meanwhile the hometown of Glenn Beck, Everett, Washington names a street in his honor; Crybaby Road.
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Well So Much For That All Over Warm Feeling
Delaware becomes the nation's first state to outlaw the newly developed crotch mini-heaters. They sighted a total of seven good reasons why.
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But The Number Was Kinda Close, Sorta
USA DAYBREAK reports that Will & Kate's honeymoon did not cost $1 million as had been reported. Word is that the total cost was actually only $975,405.
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Many Wonder If Donald Trump Was Perhaps Feeling Under The Weather
The United States news media is shocked as Donald Trump manages to go for a full 24 hours without once criticizing President Obama.
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Even Brett Favre Does Not Know What Brett Favre Wants To Do
Retired NFL quarterback Brett "Mr. Tears" Favre issued a press release that he may run for governor of Arizona. He then added, or maybe he'll move up to Canada and become a Mountie.
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Wow! Talk About A Stick Figure!
Rush Limbaugh has said that the rumor that he was moving to Tripoli, Libya was started by Nancy Pelosi because he called her an anorexic Olive Oyl.
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Amy Winehouse Admits That At Times She Has No Idea If She's Coming Or Going
Amy Winehouse wants it known that the rumors that she had been kidnapped are false. She then caught herself and said, that she was pretty sure that they were false.
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Lady GaGa spotted with clothes on
Unconfirmed reports are filtering through that nudist Lady GaGa has been photographed fully clothed. More as we get it
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Slovakian cannibal's victim stunk of garlic, it saved his life!
A Slovakian cannibal invited his Swiss victim to dinner, but his victim had just eaten Italien garlic bread and didn't feel hungry nor did the cannibal, they can't stomach victims with garlic breath!
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Berlusconi Trial Halted - TEMPORARILY
The trial of Silvio Berlusconi was halted today as half the Jury had fled from Rome because an earthquake had been predicted there since 1915. The trial will resume tomorrow if there's no earthquake!
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Arnold's comment when asked about his 'broken marriage'
"I'll be baaack!"
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Man shot at in surprise bacon tree
Sorry...ambush.
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Haircut leads to red card
An Australian footballer sent off because of his spikey mohawk haircut is the result of referees being told to dismiss players who have unbecoming haircuts. Refs are now dreading the future.
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written by
j.w., 11 May 2011
Spoof Hit by Super Injunction?
No one can say whether Spoof has been hit by a super injunction or not. If I wink it may be because I've got something in my eye.
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written by
j.w., 11 May 2011
Lady Gaga Has Wardrobe Malfunction
During a concert at a mall in Montana, Lady Gaga's outfit ripped open, leaving her naked in front of dozens of people. She noted "I din't get one wolf whistle and half the crowd went home sick."
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written by
Pariah, 11 May 2011
GMO Corn Has Surprising Effect On Nebraskans
After many years of growing and eating Monsanto's genetically modified corn, many Nebraskan males are finding their penis turned into a corn cob and their testicles becoming popcorn balls.
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written by
Pariah, 11 May 2011
Is Kate Middleton Really Laura Branigan?
They look stunningly alike and Laura's death was not long before William and Kate started dating. Could the singer's death be a cover, allowing for a royal to marry a common musician?
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written by
Pariah, 11 May 2011
CIA asks Bill Gertz to show bin Laden death photos to Congress
"This Washington Times reporter is privvy to everything my agency does," CIA Director Leon Panetta told Wikileaks. "He is the perfect tool, er foil, to show these photos to our elected officials..."
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Pixar Against Drunks Masturbating In Public
Pixar, creaters of Toy Story has announced they're tired of drunks masterbating in public. To address this concern they are promoting their new slogan "Don't play with Woody when you have a Buzz."
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written by
Pariah, 11 May 2011
Environmental Folly
Environmentalists ask Congress to ban the Mississippi River from flooding. Mark Twain said "The Mississippi River will always have its own way; no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise..."
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Magazine Article
The US wants access to Osama bin Laden's three widows to determine whether Pakistan harbored the al-Qaida chief. Hugh Heffner said sorry, they already have a contract with Playboy Magazine!
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Plastic is Good
PETA is campaigning to retain free plastic bags in markets and stores, after a specialty shop began to sell animal and fish skin grocery/tote bags!
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Irreconcilable Differences
Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver are separating. He is a Republican (sometimes, maybe, perhaps) and she is a Democrat!
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New Intelligence
Papers found in Osama's compound indicate that he sponsored Islamic terrorists, rabid environmentalists, the food police, animal rights activists, lawyers and left wing anti-Judeo/Christian groups!
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Obama's Reelection Strategy
Former Republican President GW Bush proposed an immigration reform bill, but Democrats said no! Now Democratic left wing President Obama sees millions of illegal immigrant votes in 2012!
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A Wet Dream
All US environmentalists will move into the flood plains of the Mississippi River, swapping their houses with former "Old Man" River residents. No public or private flood insurance to be available!
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ESL Candidates
Republicans are hoping to add President Obama and more Democratic liberal left Congressmen to the endangered species list (ESL) in November 2012!
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