Title change for Duke of York
Buckingham Palace hopes lowered expectations for Duke of Hopeless will quell scandal. Remarriage to Fergie expected in due course.
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Princess Anne Tweet
At least the hooves of my friends aren't cloven. He is sooooo thick!
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Dyson Hoover Cleans Up
At the prestigious Hoover of The Year Awards, James Dyson's new vacuum has cleaned up. The DC33 won best newcomer,and also longest cable, which is handy.
'It's great fun,' said a Hoover anorak.
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May Day Holiday To Be Replaced By St. Jude's Day On October 28th
'St. Jude is the patron saint of fools, desperate situations and lost causes,' said a Home Office spokesperson. 'His celebration better reflects British opinions about their leaders and their nation.'
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British Government Distances Itself From British Foreign Arms Sales
'We assumed British arms manufacturers sold weapons to foreign military enthusiasts and collectors,' said an astonished Ministry of Defence spokesman. 'We never dreamt they'd be used to kill people.'
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Mazda Discovers Spiders' Webs in Vents
Laxative sales jump.
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Republicans Shoot Obama's Climate Change Plan...
...NASA's Taurus rocket falls from the sky.
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Charlie Sheen told by judge to 'keep in touch'
'...with reality.'
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written by
pinxit, 05 March 2011
New Shrimp Named After Aberdeen Scientist
A new species of shrimp found in the North Sea has been named after the Aberdeen University scientist who discovered it.
The shrimp will be known as Wullie Fae Peterheid.
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written by
grimbo, 05 March 2011
Police Chief Calls For "No Fans Games"
Following the violence on and off the park at the Old Firm game, police chief Les Gray has is urging that games take place with no fans present.
Hamilton Accies v Dundee United already qualifies.
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written by
grimbo, 05 March 2011
Head and Shoulders to release matching body wash.
The makers of "Head and Shoulders" are releasing "Knees and Toes" a daily body wash. Gentle enough for eyes, ears, mouth and nose "Head and Shoulders" and "Knees and toes" together will keep you clean
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Charlie Sheen's CV
Charlie Sheen has started passing around his CV,
in case anyone out there is looking for a rock star from Mars.
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Hunmpty Dumpty death ruled suicide
Humpty knew what he was doing when he leapt from the wall to his death, officials are now saying after a farewell letter was found by one of the kings men.
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