Order by:
Rating:

Generic Viagra Not Doing the Trick, Men Getting It Up Only Part Way

Makers of a generic form of viagra are pulling it off shelves over fears that it is only half as effective. Many men are reporting only partial erections that aren't much better than total impotence.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Robert Pattinson To Star In Pinafore And Sandals Epic

Confuse unwanted visitors, such as Jehova's Witnesses, debt collectors or voodoo doll salesmen, by answering the door dressed as Nelson and communicating by singing the hits of Engelbert Humperdink in Mandarin Chinese.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Russell Brand Swallows Himself

Barbed wire will keep Jehova's Winesses away from your fossil collection but may prove dangerous to any blindfolded sex slaves in your household. Pretending to be out is a cheaper, if less exciting alternative.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

The Horror Of Porcelain

Whey-faced Geminis will have to decide between death by starvation and hacking their own leg off with a sharp stone. Complacent Taureans will run out of toilet paper and discover an owl behind a neglected bookcase.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Pamphleteer Drowns In Bath Of Squid Ink

Luton wastrel and fish-spotter Dirk Nanketer discharged an arquebus aboard an omnibus after he was startled by a cumulonimbus cloud shaped like a rhombus yesterday.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Police Have "Nothing To Go On" In Toilet Theft Mystery

Left-handed Librans will face an awkward decision about a nest of tables, whereas a decapitated toad is likely to appear in the underwear drawer of bisexual Capricorns with weeping sores.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Huntsman Trapped In Beanbag

"An eigenspace of A is the set of all eigenvectors with the same eigenvalue together with the zero vector. However, the zero vector is not an eigenvector", Jordan told reporters yesterday in Hull.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Up The Apples And Pears Down The Old Joanna

Unhappy? Don't know where your life is going? Constantly anxious, tired and irritable? Sort yourself out you useless faggot.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Toby Jug Futures Bullish

George Osborne is a vacuous fop and David Cameron is an intellectually-challenged rich ignoramus. However, tousled albino buffoon Boris Johnson is simply an arse.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Taj Mahal "Forgery" Claims Aberdeen Rent-Boy

Dunderford and Cucking WI raised £567 towards the cost of fumigating the Village Idiot with a successful witch probing. Six single women were stripped naked and probed with bodkins, before being ducked and burned alive.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Peregrine Worsthorne Pawns Codpiece

Tired of those boring old windows? Replace them with flaps of cured human skin. But remember to treat them with an appropriate insect repellant to obviate any summer fly nightmares.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Electric Eels Enjoy Beethoven

Obese Pisceans with a morbid fear of ratatouille should steer clear of damp obelisks. In Norfolk, shy Leos will have an opportunity to sample liquorice soup.

written by Erskin Quint, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Ribbon-Making Industry Hampered by Red Tape

LONDON - [more as it come in]

written by Inhopeless, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Pope Benedict assassinated in error...

A madman with a sniper rifle has assassinated Pope Benedict XVI. He later apologised profusely to the world: "I was trying to hit that prick Bono who was stood next to him, but sadly my aim was off."

written by attilathehungry, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Blue blooded royal Aliens invited to royal wedding!

An ex-Airforce pilot and alien expert claims that blue-blooded aliens will certainly be at the royal wedding. George Filer, the pilot, lost his marbles once chasing aliens, he went G-force mad!

written by Jaggedone, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Spoof writer considers changing name...

Hello and hi! Can you help me with this? A temporary identity crisis leaves me wondering if my name is right. Maybe "vanillathemonkey?" Or even "flotillathebungee?" Please HELP ME WITH THIS!

written by attilathehungry, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Fan hits the Shit

Police charge football supporter for punching Joey Barton.

written by pinxit, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Obama Currently Bombing Four Muslim Nations

President pleads, "How many ragheads do I have to kill to make you understand that I am a faithful follower of the Lord Jesus Christ and a devout practitioner of all his teachings?"

written by manbrad, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Stocks prove to be a runaway success...

Second up for the Stocks in Newcastle will be ex-PM Tony Blair. All surviving family members of poor Ken Bigley, the man ritually beheaded by Al-Qaeda in Baghdad, will be supplied with petrol-bombs.

written by attilathehungry, 31 March 2011
Rating:

The Stocks will be a popular alternative to mere verbal abuse...

Those wishing to participate in the public humiliation of Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall should arm themselves with rotten fruit & veg, cold Saturday night puke and, if at all possible, fresh afterbirth.

written by attilathehungry, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Medieval punishment to make a welcome comeback...

The Stocks are to be reintroduced in the UK and will initially be set up in Newcastle where there is an aversion to "Home Counties Public School types". First up will be Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.

written by attilathehungry, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Obama Speaks on Libyan Action

Washingon - In yesterday's speech, President Obama defended his actions in Libya, citing that the country has plenty of resources that should interest the Republicans and corporations.

written by Cal Jennings, 31 March 2011
Rating:

PM Cameron is secret cross-dresser..

Caught on video surveillance at the House of Commons, under that perfect boring grey suit David Cameron secretly wears a lacy garter belt, black nylons and a silk thong! His mummy would be so proud...

written by attilathehungry, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Man Found Dead From Suffocation Due to Drunken Affair With Love Doll

A man was found dead in his home atop his deflated rubber sex doll which had sprung a leak and suffocated him. Apparently, the man had been drinking and was too weak to pull his mouth off the breasts.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 31 March 2011
Rating:

Werewolf Gets Weak, Hospitalized During Recent Lunar Eclipse

The Werewolf, who thrives in the light of a full moon, was rushed to the hospital during a recent lunar eclipse. He began to get weak when the earth's shadow gradually passed across the lunar surface.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 31 March 2011
« Feb 2011 March 2011 Apr 2011 »
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
14
2nd
53
3rd
24
4th
23
5th
13
6th
9
7th
16
8th
10
9th
11
10th
22
11th
14
12th
11
13th
21
14th
39
15th
28
16th
24
17th
20
18th
19
19th
27
20th
28
21st
21
22nd
35
23rd
25
24th
25
25th
9
26th
18
27th
8
28th
21
29th
20
30th
53
31st
25
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 4?

3 20 19 14


Go to top ^