Man Becomes Woman Due to Hospital Miscommunication
A man had gender reassignment surgery in error when his/her doctor misread notes. Man was supposed to have his gall bladder/appendix removed, but notes looked like "balls don't matter, dicks neither."
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First Annual National Ugly Pageant to be Aired on ABC
To give less attractive contestants a chance at glory, ABC has decided to bite the bullet and create an ugly pageant open to all qualified women. Talent segment and swimsuit competition will be dicey.
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NASCAR Unveils New Hybrid Stock Car For Next Season
NASCAR has announced plans to run several hybrid vehicles in races next season. They'll reportedly go 500+ miles on a gas fillup and travel 200 mph, but they must be charged every commercial break.
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Gaddafi Joins the Rebels !
Qaddafi has joined the rebels. He had been held against his wishes by his sons who were using him as a scapegoat for their anti democracy acts,he told newsmen .He'll lead the rebels now .
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Reason for President Obama Being Locked Out of White House Revealed
Barack Obama was seen on TV attempting to enter the White House through a door but was locked out. The reason for this snafu became clear today when it was revealed that the mortgage payment bounced.
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Pigeon fancier arrested...
A Leeds man has been arrested for being a pigeon fancier. "It's disgusting" said Leeds policewoman Lesbie Ann Muff-Diver. "I've heard of a lot of dodgy stuff in my time but this one takes the cake".
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My Bonnie lies over the ocean...
My Bonnie lies over the ocean, she used to live in my teepee, my Bonnie lies over the ocean, she went out to go for a wee. Typical woman. Just wandered off and got lost. No sense of direction at all.
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Have you seen the muffin man?
Well have you? Cos I haven't and no bugger else has. We all know he "lives in Drury Lane" but no-one there has seen him either. And you know what? No-one seems to care. Shame. He was a nice old bloke.
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Update on useless kitchen gadgets...
A man went into his local hardware shop and bought a can opener. When he got home it didn't work, so he took it back for a refund and told the manager he should sell the rest as "can't openers".
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Woman in bedsit loses pet snake while asleep...
Well where do you think it went? There are many choices here people, some a lot more obvious, and a few a lot more suggestive than the rest. The mind boggles. Answers on a postcard.
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I just can't stop laughing....
Been reading the online Daily Mirror (lived in Canada for 29 yrs.so,out of touch with British politics Never WAS in touch with them anyway,but a polititican named ED BALLS-that has just cracked me up.
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Ann Coulter Voted "Woman of the Year" by the Union of Unconcerned Scientists
Acceptance speech highlight: "Just look what radiation has done for me!"
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Message for unwanted phone callers
Having stormed down the stairs yet again to have some machine offering me something I don't want has become a routine. My message to all those callers is ....
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written by
j.w., 26 March 2011
Cuts Cut
A March of people objecting to Cuts has been cut from media outlets because there has been no violence.
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written by
j.w., 26 March 2011
Bird Unlawfully Killed 12
A rogue Magpie killed 12 little Robins and Tits in our back garden before killing itself by flying into an electric fire.
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written by
j.w., 26 March 2011
Susan Boyle to star in Liz Taylor the musical
From the producers of Frankie Howerd the Musical staring Keith Chegwin comes a cavalcade of has beens & C grade celebs. Susan said "It'll be hard but I'm up for it." before breaking down in tears
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It's Not a War
Liberal TV talking heads praise President Obama for his liberal protection of Libyan civilians using force (not war). Same pundits criticized former President Bush for his conservative war in Iraq!
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Same Acronym
US House and Senate pass a joint resolution changing President Obama's designation from Commander in Chief (CIC) to Clueless in Chief (CIC)!
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