Everest echo claims another victim.....
From the summit of Everest rugged Canadian climber Rocky Mountain dedicated his successful ascent to his wife Sandy, shouting "I love Sandy!" The echo came back: "So do half the bikers in Canada".
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ZZ Top guitarist in near-fatal accident.....
Legendary ZZ Top frontman Billy Gibbons was in intensive care last night after trapping his beard in a turbo waste-disposal unit. Paramedics found no trace of blood in his alcohol.
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Patriotic Help for Weeeders
Makers of Weeeding memorablia for Kate & Will's weeeding have agreed to plough back their profits into specially created funds to help those with urinary problems.
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written by
j.w., 20 March 2011
Madonna finally realises the game is up.....
In a probably forlorn attempt to look mature, pop queen Madonna has promised faithfully to stop re-inventing herself if we all promise to worship Her Popfulness till the next millenium. Fat chance.
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Steve Bruce Breaks Down
Sunderland Manager Steve Bruce broke down crying earlier today when a Liverpool fan shouted to him that ' his head was bigger than a Space Hopper.'
'It's a bit cruel really that,' said Steve.
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English language banned.....
From April 2011 it will be a punishable offence to speak English in the UK. "It is deeply insulting to our immigrants when we cannot speak their native language" said a PC government spokesman.
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Mugabe aide hacked to death....
Robert Mugabe recently caught sight of his own reflection. "Who is this ugly black monster?" he asked an aide. When the aide reluctantly replied "you, sir", Mugabe hacked him to pieces with a machete.
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Spoofers needed for Caption Competition
In light of Lady G's recent breakdown, resulting from being alone too much on the Caption Competition...Spoofers are asked to 'rally aound' ane write at least ONE entry each until her return.
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Lady G. enters Priory Clinic
Lady G. has been admitted to The Priory.She says it's for research but the real cause for her 'breakdown' is that she has been carrying the present Caption Competition mostly 'alone' and is knackered.
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Bradford housewife in race prejudice row.....
Accused of "racial prejudice" Edna Short told Bradford police "Ey oop, lads, I's not prejudiced. I just hates everybody, most of all you lot". She was later released from custody in a long brown box.
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Cowell officially more important than Bono.....
After meeting the Queen a dismayed Simon Cowell said "I was amazed to find that she didn't know who I was!" (Her Majesty clearly has better taste).
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Olympics 2012
Pundits have reacted angrily to the news that the Vuvuzela is to be banned form London 2012.
Paul Merson commented "I think every South American country should be allowed to attend".
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written by
grimbo, 20 March 2011
Jim McDonald to return to Corrie
Catch yourself on Steven. Liz? Is that you?
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Follow-up to Oscar winner 'The King's Speech' to go into production.
The King Receives A Lukewarm Reception to start filming in May.
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Al Pacino accused of shouty overacting..
"I DID NOT DO THAT! NOT EVER!" he counters.
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Cher Lloyd to play Acapulco
"Should be fun," she says. "Pity I don't speak Mexican. Innit."
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Wrestler quits against his will...
"They twisted my arm."
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Royal Wedding Mugs
Expected to line up down The Mall on the day.
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Confusion at UN over Libya
"I thought they meant 'Libya The Tattooed Lady' says UN delegate.
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It's official! - Man Utd fans make the best lovers
"They tease you for 90 minutes and then pop one in in added time" says grateful wife.
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Michael Jackson statue at Craven Cottage prompts outrage
"It should be at Stamford Bridge, where it belongs" - says disgruntled Fulham fan.
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Rob Zombie to make Oscar nominated movie
Yeah, right.
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Man disappointed by haddock
Didn't see the finny side.
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Godzilla Awakes !
Satellite pictures have confirmed what the locals were whispering among themselves in Japan. It is Godzilla who is now getting ready to come out after a long sleep under the sea.Evidence- The Tsunami.
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Indian PM takes responsibility for Tsunami
The Indian PM has taken responsibility for the Tsunami in Japan in line with the Coalition Dharma with the Pacific.Efforts are on to pacify the Pacific, he added,so that the Govt. stays.
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Sarah Palin begins India visit, appalled by Free-Roaming Cows
Palin recommends helicopter hunting to combat "severe bovine overpopulation problem."
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Top Tip:
Intending to breathe today? Don't allow the tubes from your nose or throat to your lungs to be blocked.
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Typo Means No-Fly Zone Declared Over Libya and UK
NEW YORK - After UN said a no-fly zone over Libya, the bill also has a typo declaring a NFZ over the UK. As it already passed, US and EU planes are shooting passenger jets out of UK airspace.
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