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Rating:

Blue-eyed ref shows Chelsea mucho Charity!

In last nights epic duel between Man U & Chelsea it was obvious the ref was looking deeply through his dark-blue eyes. He should have seen red once or twice, Luiz, Terry, but he chose Vidic instead!

written by Jaggedone, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Gaddafi Burns His Hand

Gaddafi's rallying cry of 'Follow me or I will burn Libya' backfired this morning when the flame from his lighter shot up and gave him a nasty burn on his hand.
'It'll need dressing' said a Nurse.

written by Mr Goster, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Demi Lovato

Irish/Italian/American - now there's a lethal combination.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Enough Is Enough Is Enough

I shan't go on no more...as Charlie once said to Camilla. Or was it Barbra Sreisand? Same difference really...
All to do with horses...

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Snippet Advertising...

Probably not good if it's a viagra ad (Mind you - it beats splints)

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

News Based Snippets

Don't work. End of.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Brevity is the key to snippet writing,,,

Right?

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Kristen Stewart's Nude Mound Of Venus (Mons Veneris) Now Available via Internet Download

Yeah - and you believed that?

SHAME ON YOU!

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Artist Doesn't Want To Write About Damp Teen - Idols' Crotchy Bits

Avoid at all costs. Crotchy bits are okay, but it'll never get you a job with the BBC

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

How many one-liners is it possible to create in an hour?

About seven million, an expert opines. You just switch off and let your brain go a bit mad - providing you have one.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

How do you do it?

I don't really know - but I'm considering viagra.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Making Snippets Funny - Part Five

Rip the shit out of Scousers. They won't like it much, but they're an accentically challenged minority - and boycotting the Sun didn't really damage Murdoch.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Making Snippets Funny - Part Four

Don't mention Obama, or US politics - nobody outside the US understands it. Unless it involves Cap'n Morse, the Rodriguez fella, or the snippet chappy - US politics and humour don't mix.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Making Snippets Funny - Part Three

Learn from a master. Like me. I only charge £27 for a consultation. Mug.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Making Snippets funny - Part Two

Don't twat on. Just say what you're saying. Keep it brief.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Making snippets funny - Part One

I'm not telling you that. Because I am a bastard,

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Bear Grylls snippets...easy...

Aaaaaarrrrrggghhhh!!!

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Sexually Explicit Snippets

Don't bother. Your wife will only mock you. Mercilessly.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Sports Snippets

Don't mention sport - unless you're fending the wife off with a chair. Like a lion tamer. You won't win.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Political Snippets

Any subtlety will be lost. Forget it.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Snippets - When Writing Snippets - Be Brief

Later!

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Snippets Are A Piece Of P*ss

Cat agrees as it messes up de kitchen.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Spoof Writer Admits To Once Being Vaguely Amusing

Then he met his wife. That was it - game over.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Politician says something really deep and heavy.

Nobody seems to reliably remember what.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Spoof Writer Says He Can Do Snippets Too!

Probably about somebody who did or said something. Seems undetermined at the moment.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Shuttlecock Divided

Snippets, celeb shite, or socks?

Socks win. Hands down. (?)

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Shuttlecock Claims He Could Write Snippets All Day, Every Day, If Necessary..

Long suffering wife, Anne tells him to shut the fuck up and come to bed.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

CIA Links Assange With Martin Shuttlecock

"Don't be so fucking daft," says Shuttlecock's long suffering wife, Anne. "He hasn't got the brains."

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Local man remembers punchline, but forgets joke...

"He's fucking hopeless!" says long suffering wife.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Local Man Forgets Joke Punchline

"I forgot it, simple as that," says Martin Shuttlecock. Long suffering wife, Anne, hits him with a stick.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

This one's a killer, says Martin Shuttlecock...

Who was I supposed to be killing here?

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Sex, Dogs, And Hindu Gods...

They've got nothing to do with one another, says local man, Martin Shuttlecock.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

78 Snippets A Day - I Couldn't Match That!

Says idiot who probably could. But they'd all be shite,

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Spoof Writer Can't Do Snippets

"I can't do snippets," he says. The lying Manc bastard!

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Chelsea Fan Smarting Over Chelsea Victory

"I get it up the tradesman's whichever way you look at it. It's a bit easier with a Greek bloke though, when we've won. Or even two Greek blokes. Hang on....that's hurting....

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Man Utd Fans Smarting Over Chelsea defeat

"It's a pain in the arse," one says. "But at least we're starting to understand how Chelsea fans feel - week in, week out."

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

It's as easy as rolling off a log...

Daft bastard confounds critics, stays on log, writes Spoof article. It was a shitty article, but there you go.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Hollywood producer emphatically denies paedophilia allegations...

"We been doing this stuff since Judy Garland in The Wizard Of Oz - what's the problem?

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Rocky Balboa expresses disgust over Philadelphia paedophile ring...

Yo ADRIAN! HELP ME OUT HERE!

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Paedophiles get angry!

Why the hell would we want to live in Philadelphia?

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Philadelphians get angry

Being associated with Philly blunts is okay. but not paedophiles. That's just wrong.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Philadelphia becoming popular among paedophiles

Oops - that should have read 'Paedophilia'

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Paedophilia becoming popular because of Rocky Balboa Again

Sorry - typo - should have read 'Philadelphia.'

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Philadelphia Becoming Fashionable Again

City fathers blame Rocky Balboa and spreadable cheese.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Paedophilia becoming fashionable again

Nah, not really - that would just be sick!

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Demi Lovato gets naked!

Great news if you're pre-pubescent and prepared to believe anything.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Leopardskin jackets are all the rage

Unless you're a leopard - in which case, why bother? It ain't worth dying over.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

I say, I say, I say - my dog's got no nose...

He's deformed. Birth defect or something.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Bad Day At Black Rock Beckons

For bloke about to have a bad day at Black Rock.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Wayne Rooney To Star In Shrek 5!

Not really. That's the oldest joke in the 21st Century.

So far...

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Hefner Hits Back at Sheen

Hugh Hefner has hit back at Charlie Sheen for calling him an amateur; "I taught Sheen all he knows. I pointed out to him many times that you put the thing into the girl's vagina and take it from there. Without me he would be nothin!"

written by Auntie Matter, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Spoof writer has all the answers...

Problem is, he can't remember the questions.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
Rating:

Spoof Writer Has Ground Breaking Idea!

Then forgets what it was.

written by Skoob1999, 02 March 2011
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