Idiots Argument Over "Harry Potter" Film Turns to Violence
Eliot, ME-A household experienced much violence today, as an argument about specifics in a Harry Potter film, divided said household and the two camps brawled. Shouts of "incendiosum" were overheard.
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Little Caesar's Under Investigation for "Tainted Pizzas"
Dover, NH-Officials today cordoned off the Little Caesar's pizzeria, as claims of tainted, narcotic pizzas have flooded the area. A number of claimants allege that they experienced visions or laxity.
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Libyan Nationalists To Sue France for "War Crimes"
Benghazi, Libya-Members of the Nationalist Libyan Forces, outraged by France's shooting down of one of their fighters, have filed a war crimes suit with the International Court.
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Man Mistakenly Believes He's Traveled Backwards Through Time
Dover, NH-A plaza housing the pizza chain, Little Caesar's, has become a controversial site, as a man claims he went back in time, due to the fact that LC's had been absent in the area for 10-15 years
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Massive Deposits of Californium Found in the Most Unlikely Place!
Ichiyushui, Honshu, Japan-Scores of toiling radiation workers, in concert with local farmers and miners, have found huge deposits of the rarest element, californium, at a farm just outside the reactor
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Mother Sues Own Son For Sexual Harassment!
Patterson,NJ-In a move that is shocking the world, a mother is suing her own five year old son for sexual harassment for slapping her butt at home one day. The father is being sued, too, for damages.
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Slammer Denied
An Irish band of ruffians has stopped an English gang slamming rivals in Britain and Europe.
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written by
j.w., 19 March 2011
Nuclear Reactors are Cool
Latest fashion houses have augured in the Nuclear Reactor Look, considered 'cool' on the Catwalk.
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written by
j.w., 19 March 2011
Radios active in Japan
Outstanding programmes being beamed from a radio station in Japan have met with active appreciation.
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written by
j.w., 19 March 2011
Cable Saves World
Vince Cable, in a show of great self sacrifice, has voluntereed to offer himself to Japanese who are looking for a Cable to try and get electricity to pumps so that a nuclear disaster can be avoided.
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written by
j.w., 19 March 2011
Mooning comes closer
Bare Backsides seem to be coming closer as jokers out Mooning have bright rays from the Moon shining brightly on their posteriors as they drop their pants.
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written by
j.w., 19 March 2011
Betting on the next world disaster
Rival betting firms have been trying to decide the odds on what the next disaster will be. Currently top runner is Eastenders ending, followed by the demise of Coronation Street.
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written by
j.w., 19 March 2011
Japanese Radiant
Latest reports from Japan stress the beauty of Japanese women. 'They are simply radiant' exclaimed a tourist.
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written by
j.w., 19 March 2011
Charles Upset
Prince Charles is increasingly worried at the publicity Prince William is getting. Remembering the way Diana put him down Charles is pondering how he can make a splash. One idea is to have six wives.
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written by
j.w., 19 March 2011
Andy Dick to Marry Woman He Just Met in Unusual Union
Comedian Andy Dick is marrying jingle writer Vanessa Head. The pair met only recently, sharing a whirlwind courtship and engagement. The Dick-Head wedding promises to be the social event of the year!
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Man Saddened at Not Having his Free Car Won
UNITED WEBSITES OF INTERNET - Rob Smarts has posted ads for Penis Enlargements and a free car for the 1 millionth user of various sites. "How come no-one's come and recieved them?" he asks.
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Gadaffi Explains Why He Broke Ceasefire
TRIPOLI, LIB. - Col. Gadaffi explains, using Philosophy why he attacked Benghazi. "I always lie - all of the time."
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Songwriters Jumping on Sheen Craze
LOS ANGELES - Musicians across the nation are descending on LA to write songs about washed-up Charlie Sheen. Includes Ben Folds. Tickets on sale for $25.99.
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Chess champion crowned after 17 hour battle.....
Quadriplegic Russian grandmaster Lossov Kontrolovich has won the world title after an epic final game that lasted 17 hours. The chess pieces were later picked up off the floor by tournament officials.
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Troll sneaks onto Spoof website
Boldly calls himself ME[/strong. All over many sections of Top Writers charts. Can't be contacted. Beware! Could be dangerous.
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Plane over Behghazi
The plane that crashed near Benghazi was being flown by Al Queda and the pilot was Osama Bin Laden, official Libyan TV claimed. US is pulling out of campaign to oust Gaddafi.
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written by
j.w., 19 March 2011
Ann Coulter Says 'Radiation Good For You'
Proving once again why no one in their right mind would touch her with a ten foot pole.
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Auburn, LSU Square Off as Mascots Get Freaky
The Auburn Tigers and LSU Tigers played baseball today, but their mascots stole the show. LSU's male tiger and Auburn's female tiger were spotted having hot cat sex during the seventh-inning stretch.
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Thought For The Day:
OMG - they go on about Bono... can someone shut Annie Lennox up? Please?
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Stop That
An eastern state found that more than 7,000 drivers ignored the stop arms and lights of school buses, proceeding to pass them. Bus drivers will now place spike strips on the road when they stop!
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Top Tip:
When donning trousers, the long, tube-like structures are the legs. Try to ensure that where they meet is at the top.
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"Godfather: The Musical" Coming Soon to Broadway
Plans are in the works for a Broadway musical version of "The Godfather". Robert Duval, Al Pacino, and Robert De Niro all agreed to reprise their roles, but no word yet on who will play Brando's part.
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