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Idiots Argument Over "Harry Potter" Film Turns to Violence

Eliot, ME-A household experienced much violence today, as an argument about specifics in a Harry Potter film, divided said household and the two camps brawled. Shouts of "incendiosum" were overheard.

written by Anan E Maus, 19 March 2011
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Little Caesar's Under Investigation for "Tainted Pizzas"

Dover, NH-Officials today cordoned off the Little Caesar's pizzeria, as claims of tainted, narcotic pizzas have flooded the area. A number of claimants allege that they experienced visions or laxity.

written by Anan E Maus, 19 March 2011
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Libyan Nationalists To Sue France for "War Crimes"

Benghazi, Libya-Members of the Nationalist Libyan Forces, outraged by France's shooting down of one of their fighters, have filed a war crimes suit with the International Court.

written by Anan E Maus, 19 March 2011
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Man Mistakenly Believes He's Traveled Backwards Through Time

Dover, NH-A plaza housing the pizza chain, Little Caesar's, has become a controversial site, as a man claims he went back in time, due to the fact that LC's had been absent in the area for 10-15 years

written by Anan E Maus, 19 March 2011
Rating:

Massive Deposits of Californium Found in the Most Unlikely Place!

Ichiyushui, Honshu, Japan-Scores of toiling radiation workers, in concert with local farmers and miners, have found huge deposits of the rarest element, californium, at a farm just outside the reactor

written by Anan E Maus, 19 March 2011
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Mother Sues Own Son For Sexual Harassment!

Patterson,NJ-In a move that is shocking the world, a mother is suing her own five year old son for sexual harassment for slapping her butt at home one day. The father is being sued, too, for damages.

written by Anan E Maus, 19 March 2011
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Slammer Denied

An Irish band of ruffians has stopped an English gang slamming rivals in Britain and Europe.

written by j.w., 19 March 2011
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Nuclear Reactors are Cool

Latest fashion houses have augured in the Nuclear Reactor Look, considered 'cool' on the Catwalk.

written by j.w., 19 March 2011
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Radios active in Japan

Outstanding programmes being beamed from a radio station in Japan have met with active appreciation.

written by j.w., 19 March 2011
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Cable Saves World

Vince Cable, in a show of great self sacrifice, has voluntereed to offer himself to Japanese who are looking for a Cable to try and get electricity to pumps so that a nuclear disaster can be avoided.

written by j.w., 19 March 2011
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Mooning comes closer

Bare Backsides seem to be coming closer as jokers out Mooning have bright rays from the Moon shining brightly on their posteriors as they drop their pants.

written by j.w., 19 March 2011
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Betting on the next world disaster

Rival betting firms have been trying to decide the odds on what the next disaster will be. Currently top runner is Eastenders ending, followed by the demise of Coronation Street.

written by j.w., 19 March 2011
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Japanese Radiant

Latest reports from Japan stress the beauty of Japanese women. 'They are simply radiant' exclaimed a tourist.

written by j.w., 19 March 2011
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Charles Upset

Prince Charles is increasingly worried at the publicity Prince William is getting. Remembering the way Diana put him down Charles is pondering how he can make a splash. One idea is to have six wives.

written by j.w., 19 March 2011
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Andy Dick to Marry Woman He Just Met in Unusual Union

Comedian Andy Dick is marrying jingle writer Vanessa Head. The pair met only recently, sharing a whirlwind courtship and engagement. The Dick-Head wedding promises to be the social event of the year!

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 19 March 2011
Rating:

Man Saddened at Not Having his Free Car Won

UNITED WEBSITES OF INTERNET - Rob Smarts has posted ads for Penis Enlargements and a free car for the 1 millionth user of various sites. "How come no-one's come and recieved them?" he asks.

written by Inhopeless, 19 March 2011
Rating:

Gadaffi Explains Why He Broke Ceasefire

TRIPOLI, LIB. - Col. Gadaffi explains, using Philosophy why he attacked Benghazi. "I always lie - all of the time."

written by Inhopeless, 19 March 2011
Rating:

Songwriters Jumping on Sheen Craze

LOS ANGELES - Musicians across the nation are descending on LA to write songs about washed-up Charlie Sheen. Includes Ben Folds. Tickets on sale for $25.99.

written by Inhopeless, 19 March 2011
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Chess champion crowned after 17 hour battle.....

Quadriplegic Russian grandmaster Lossov Kontrolovich has won the world title after an epic final game that lasted 17 hours. The chess pieces were later picked up off the floor by tournament officials.

written by attilathehungry, 19 March 2011
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Troll sneaks onto Spoof website

Boldly calls himself ME[/strong. All over many sections of Top Writers charts. Can't be contacted. Beware! Could be dangerous.

written by Lady Godiva, 19 March 2011
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Plane over Behghazi

The plane that crashed near Benghazi was being flown by Al Queda and the pilot was Osama Bin Laden, official Libyan TV claimed. US is pulling out of campaign to oust Gaddafi.

written by j.w., 19 March 2011
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Ann Coulter Says 'Radiation Good For You'

Proving once again why no one in their right mind would touch her with a ten foot pole.

written by Juvenal Delinquent, 19 March 2011
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Auburn, LSU Square Off as Mascots Get Freaky

The Auburn Tigers and LSU Tigers played baseball today, but their mascots stole the show. LSU's male tiger and Auburn's female tiger were spotted having hot cat sex during the seventh-inning stretch.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 19 March 2011
Rating:

Thought For The Day:

OMG - they go on about Bono... can someone shut Annie Lennox up? Please?

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 19 March 2011
Rating:

Stop That

An eastern state found that more than 7,000 drivers ignored the stop arms and lights of school buses, proceeding to pass them. Bus drivers will now place spike strips on the road when they stop!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 March 2011
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Top Tip:

When donning trousers, the long, tube-like structures are the legs. Try to ensure that where they meet is at the top.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 19 March 2011
Rating:

"Godfather: The Musical" Coming Soon to Broadway

Plans are in the works for a Broadway musical version of "The Godfather". Robert Duval, Al Pacino, and Robert De Niro all agreed to reprise their roles, but no word yet on who will play Brando's part.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 19 March 2011
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