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Rating:

Miracle in Southern England

Its raining.

written by Katarina Frogpond2, 07 June 2011
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Miracle Announced in America

Politician shows his pants on Twitter and still has a job.

written by Katarina Frogpond2, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Miracle Announced in Germany

Scientist eats a cucumber and a Bean Sprout... and lives.

written by Katarina Frogpond2, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Woolly Jumpers Deployed to Battle Gas Price Hike

Yes, that's right, jumping sheep will power a treadmill that will provide electricity for half of London. Hurrah.

written by Katarina Frogpond2, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Toilet Attendant Retires After Thirty Years Service.

Ernest Trump has retired after 30 years as a toilet attendant.He blames anti social behaviour."Nowadays when somebody comes in for a shit it's like a breath of fresh air."

written by Gordon Clarke, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Man Has Pig's Ears Transplanted.

A man who lost both of his ears to a flesh eating bug has had them replaced with pig's ears.The operation has not been a success though.All he can hear is crackling.

written by Gordon Clarke, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Elbow To Record New Album.

They may have just released a new album but Elbow are already hard at work on their next venture.They are reworking songs from the musical "Grease."The album will be called Elbow Grease.

written by Gordon Clarke, 07 June 2011
Rating:

The Man Who Was Hardly Ever Home

A traveling salesman went into a furniture store and told the clerk that he wanted to purchase an occasional chair.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Rating:

A Frown Is Merely A Smile Turned Upside Down Except In...

Due to the fact that Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona has lost every last bit of her sense of humor all Arizona McDonald's have decided to rename the Happy Meal, the Unhappy Meal.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin...The Woman Who Can Burn Jello

When Sarah Palin was asked if she knew who Benedict Arnold was she smiled and replied, "Of course I do silly, he's the guy who invented Eggs Benedict duh."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Rating:

The Two-Year-Old Smoking Boy Is Starting To Shrink

Authorities in Indonesia are reporting the two-year-old smoking boy is already showing signs of stunted growth. They report that his legs have already shrunk down to the size of Danny Devito's legs.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Arizona To Kiss The Yellow Pages Bye-Bye

Arizona Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer is considering doing away with the term Yellow Pages saying that the word yellow gives off a cowardly like connotation.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Brit stuffs ham in Muslims shoes and gets roasted alive, metaphorically!

A drunken Brit "racist" stuffed ham in some Muslims shoes while they were praying and after being given a suspended jail sentence claimed Muslims are full of "porky pies", that's worth a fatwa!

written by Jaggedone, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Plans to open Chernobyl to tourists

Russian authorities say it's just like Disneyland, except the six foot mouse is real.

written by ExiledRoyal, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Ryan Giggs song banned from terraces by Judge.

He's Welsh, he's red, he's in his brothers bed, Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Scientists confirm only three things can survive nuclear war:

1) Cockroaches
2) Scorpions
3) The DFS Sale

written by ExiledRoyal, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Simon Cowell half million security bill

Simon Cowell spends 500k on his personal security every year.

Wouldn't it be a lot cheaper if he tried to be a little bit less of a prick?

written by ExiledRoyal, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Frog-skin drug could treat cancer

President Sarkozy has offered thousands of French vagrants for harvesting

written by ExiledRoyal, 07 June 2011
Rating:

The North Koreans Will Be Thrilled At Sarah Palin's Nice Gesture

Sarah Palin was asked what she plans on doing with her bus after her Nationwide Bus Tour. She paused for a few moments and then remarked that she plans to donate it to our allies the North Koreans.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Rating:

The Mississippi River Could Be Flowing Backwards

A noted New Orleans weatherman said if a hurricane were to hit New Orleans right now it would shove the flood waters of the Mississippi all the way back up to Minnesota and form a sixth Great Lake.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Okay, So Which Witch Is Which?

A woman in Springfield, Massachusetts says that she is a witch and then proves it by saying that she came out of the broom closet.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Well You Know What They Say - All Breakfast Cereal Looks Alike

Sarah Palin returned a box of cereal to the store and asked for her money back because it was missing 25 of the letters. The clerk told her that the cereal was Cheerios and not Alpha Bits.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Rating:

More Food for Thought

President Obama has been spoon-feeding Americans his wealth redistribution pap and Michelle introduced the food plate, replacing the food pyramid. The American taxpayer appears to be getting forked!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Liberal Democrats Fiscal Insanity

President Obama wants to tax the 2.5% of Americans making over $250,000 to eliminate budget deficits and reduce the national debt. Arithmetic can demonstrate why Obama's fiscal policies are failing!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Are Spoofers a Vanishing Breed?

Spoofers write inane, silly and sometimes funny stories. Anybody seen various TV commercials lately, mainly consisting of inane, silly, stupid and sometimes funny stuff?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Moving Out

WikiLeaks is reporting that President Obama has called a moving company to be available on January 21, 2013 if the US jobless rate, gasoline prices and the budget deficits continue to rise!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Seems Economically Reasonable

The US is providing hundreds of millions of dollars of foreign aid to countries that it borrows billions from. Why not just deduct this aid money from what the US has borrowed?


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Obama Administration Debt Policy

A failure to reach a deal to raise the debt ceiling by Aug. 2, 2011 will lead the government to default on some of its obligations and Democrat's won't be able to spend, spend, spend!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Oil is also on the Menu

China has made contact with the Libyan rebels at a Qatar meeting. Chinese diplomats are anxious to get the Chinese fast food concession (no pork), before McDonalds or KFC!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

US Unemployment Again at 9.1 %

President Obama said there are still some headwinds that are coming at us. Hailing from Hawaii the president is unable to recognize an oncoming economic disaster tornado!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Road Worker in Chief

President Obama says the US has hit a bump on the road to economic recovery. It appears to be more like a gigantic sink-hole caused by Democratic left-wing ideological economic policy!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Salt Police Out of a Job

New federal government study indicates that consuming twice the recommended daily amount of salt prevents cancer, works better than Viagra and cures acne!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Administrator of the EPA Resigns

President Obama was informed that the administrator's new job is with a large oil company. Instead of generating environmental propaganda for low pay, oil and natural gas drilling pays big bucks!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Get out of My Life

President Obama's Democratic liberal regulation policies are like the busy-body living next door. The president thinks the federal government should have a finger in everyone's pot!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Democrats Do Have a Plan

Write a Democratic liberal left Congressperson about reducing federal spending. Your reply is non-answer pap, how good it is to hear from the constituent and demagogic bashing of Republicans!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Weiner's Wiener

Representative Weiner (D-NY) went to "Nathans Famous" in Coney Island to get a hot dog and all he got was a wiener!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Liberal Democrats Underwear in a Knot

Representative Lee (R-NY) resigned over a bare chest photo he sent to a young lady. What will Representative Weiner (D-NY) do about the "bulging-underpants" photo of himself, he sent to a young woman?

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Investors Flock to Gold

The USDA is reporting that geese sales are up in the current economic climate, as people search for the golden eggs. Department of Commerce reports claim lawn Leprechaun and pot sales are also up!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Media Bias

The tragedy of the felonious John Edwards affair is that this Democrat could have become a US president. The National Enquirer ran the story, not the main stream media. Oh, he wasn't a Republican!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Slime Ball 2011 Award

Former Senator John Edwards (D-NC) has again been named the Slime Ball of the year. Let's hear it for John, a two time loser, who may get a paid federal vacation and a striped suit!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Going Green the Sears Catalog Way

San Francisco CA & Seattle WA have set restrictions on unrequested phone book deliveries. People who request the yellow pages will get book pages with vertical perforations, allowing for other uses!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Just like Your Cell Phone

Another WHO study indicates repeated use of toilet paper could cause rectal cancer. This UN agency recommends keeping the product from making any contact with your body!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Rating:

Not a Prudent Remedy

City officials are concerned about accidental drowning in swimming prohibited reservoirs. They plan surrounding reservoirs with barbed-wire & land mines to reduce the number of drowning fatalities!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
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