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Rating:

Free beer tomorrow.

There is a sign in my local pub promising FREE BEER TOMORROW.
Lots of idiots turned up. Like they do every day.

written by Rebel Not Taken, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Punch drunk Hooligans insult the Queen at Royal Ascot!

The Queen was insulted by a bunch of hooligans dressed in Armani suits at Royal Ascot. They had had a punch up and got upset when the Queen told them to "f++k off because I can't enjoy my champers!"

written by Jaggedone, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin Does Know Her Planets

Sarah "Snowflake" Palin was asked if men are from Mars and women are from Venus then what planet are gays and lesbians from. She replied, "Oh that's an easy one...San Fransissyco.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Congressman Weiner May Have A New Job Lined Up

Now that Congressman Weiner has resigned his congressional seat he is seriously thinking about becoming a priest.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

And Who Is This Michele Bachmann Again?

It seems that Rep. Michele Bachmann who wants to be the GOP presidential candidate says that a lot of people know who she is...well sure her mom and dad, her uncles, aunts, and most of her cousins.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin's Tea Party Has No Policies, No Doctrines, No Nothing

In a bad news good news story, Sarah Palin says that the Tea Party Offices in Arizona have completely burned down. She added that the good news was that the offices were totally empty.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

New glasses that can see up to 9 years into the future

Yes, you can have 20/20 vision!

written by ExiledRoyal, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Luggage smeared with Vaseline

Police said they were dropping the case

written by ExiledRoyal, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Zippo Lighter for sale

£200. That's £2 for the lighter and £198 for the petrol.

written by ExiledRoyal, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Missing autistic boy found safe

He was unable to open it, however.

written by ExiledRoyal, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Colonel Gaddafi To Be Invited To The London 2012 Olympics

'We have already built a compound for his accommodation on Salisbury Plain,' said the commander in charge of the military firing range. 'We have even decorated the top of his tent with an "X".'

written by Swan Morrison, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Clumsy Bladder Surgeon Struck off

For constantly ripping the piss out of his patients.

written by pinxit, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin Just Keeps On Keeping On

Sarah Palin was asked if she believes in space aliens. "Of course I do. There are thousands of them working illegally in restaurants in Arizona and we need to send them back to East Los Angeles."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Paris Hilton - The Socialite Who Knows A Lot About Nothing

Paris Hilton was asked if it is true that her G-Spot weighs five pounds. She smiled and said, "Well it all depends on if it's wet or not."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Tina Fey Wants Sarah Palin To Stop It!

Tina Fey is furious and she has asked a New York state judge to ban Sarah Palin from impersonating her due to the fact that the embarrassment is causing her undue stress.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

The Former Actor Known As Zack Galifianakis

One of the stars of Hangover Part II, Zack Galifianakis has been asked by his agent to change his last name to something easier to pronounce and remember. Zack will now be known as Zack Glockenspiel.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Sarah Palin Sure Does Know Her Fruit

Sarah Palin was asked who Johnny Appleseed was. She replied, "Well ya know, he was that tall skinny fella that went around warning the British not to eat apples cause they had worms in them."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

John Goodman - Mistaken Identify

John Goodman stated that he is tired of being referred to as 'Michael Moore but without the baseball cap.'

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Mary Kate Olsen Just Says "No"

Mary Kate Olsen denies she's dating Kanye West. She replied, "Hey, he's old, he's a rap singer, he steals microphones, and he's black." She thought about it and then said, "Okay forget the old part."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
Rating:

Donald Trump Turns 65, His Hair Is 85

Donald Trump just had his 65th birthday and lets hope that someone gave him a hand held mirror.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 17 June 2011
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