Spoof news snippets from Friday 8 July 2011
When O.J. Simpson was asked.......
"How are you doing these days Mr. Simpson. Looking back would you have done anything differently?" He answered,
"Frig off!".
When Rebekah Brooks was asked.....
"ARE you guilty of knowing what was going on at the NOTW?"
She answered, "Do I LOOK guilty? Don't you think I have beautiful hair?"
Rooney devestated
Hair is growing back red and curly. May end up wearing wig after all. He can't look at Rebekah Brooks photos anymore.
Arsenal FC investigated by Inland Revenue
An insider told us; "On a recent tax audit we noticed they were claiming for silver polish"
Give me a B
Bombastic bully Becky's babbling bullshit beggar's belief
Sarah Palin voted number one…………….
In recent a poll called; "What American politician would you most like to see naked". You have to admit, she is hot.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Jerry Springer is thrilled and relieved to announce that the DNA results are in and he is not the father of Nadya "Octomom" Suleman's eight babies.
Pippa Middleton Denies Those Screensaver Rumors
Pippa Middleton is denying the fact that she is using an intimate photo of ex-boyfriend and infamous porn star Ron Jeremy as her computer screensaver.
Donald Trump Will Not Be The "Hair" Apparent
The real reason why Donald Trump dropped out of the GOP presidential race is because he finally realized that his hairdo was not as pretty as Sarah Palin's or Michele Bachmann's.
Nancy Pelosi Has Passed "The Weiner Test" With Flying Colors
Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has just taken a lie detector test and she said that it proved that she has never in her life spoken the words penis, peter, or pecker.
Suitable punishment for Rebekah Brooks
Shave her bloody head! Doesn't look like she's been using it anyway.
Two headed Royal python found in Germany
Brits. say they've had two faced Royals for centuries.
Katie Price to buy News of the World
Katie said; "People will soon forget about phone hacking when they see my tits on every page"
Paperbacks To Be Supplied With Operating Instructions
'Using Kindle and eBooks has left some readers unsure how to turn paper pages,' confirmed a publishing industry spokesman. 'In future, full instructions will appear on the cover of all paperbacks.'
Latest Harry Potter book
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phone tap
A week of lasts
Last Harry Potter, Last Space Shuttle, Last News of the World
Reporter Les Being to leave The Spoof
Up yours, I've been head hunted by the News of The World. So long suckers. Oops, can I have my job back please.
Rebekah Brooks receives death threat
Six million suspects to be questioned by police
Another Socking Development!
Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch are Cut from the Same Sock!
Sarah Palin - A Woman Who Knows When To Put Her (Booted) Foot Down!
Sarah Palin was asked what she told her daughter Willow about sexting. Palin said she told her not to do it until she is married because we don't need any more unwed mothers in the friggin family.
Willie Nelson Is Turning Into A Health Nut
Willie Nelson says he's on a health kick and is starting to watch what he eats. He said the other day he watched himself eat some marijuana laced brownies.
Brett Favre - A Man Who Has Learned To Control Things
Brett Favre is so proud of himself that he wants to get the word out that he has not cried once in the past 24 hours.
Tim "The Bar-Hopping Devil" Pawlenty
Tim Pawlenty is not a very sharp cookie. He thinks that a bar code is the sign hanging over a bar which reads "No spitting on the floor."
Poor Old Hugh Hefner Dumped By A Woman Only 60 Years Younger Than Him
Hugh Hefner, who is 85, says that the idea of being dumped just four days before his wedding has left him so traumatized that he has to pee while sitting down.
It Is Time To Tell The Truth About The Truth
The American people are getting tired of every time a celebrity goes into rehab its either because they're suffering from exhaustion or dehydration. Enough of that bull...it's either alcohol or drugs.
Sarah Palin - The Woman Is Truly A Master of Mystery
Sarah "Snowflake" Palin stated she plans to enlist the campaign help of little Topo Gigio. Palin smiled and said that she needs to get a jump on everyone and capture the 6-year-old vote.
LeAnn Rimes Is Back On The Road To Eating
LeAnn Rimes who had let her weight get down to 63 pounds wants everyone to know that she is fine and she's starting to eat again and that her last meal consisted of two ounces of water and one M&M.
This Just in:
World's oldest living cannibal dies of consumption.
Another Productive US Industry Being Destroyed
Not satisfied with ruining, energy, coal/oil & health care the Obama administration is going after farmers. An EPA regulation mandates farmers get permits as well as licenses for spraying pesticides!
Bad Hair Day
President Obama awoke this morning with a bad hair day concerning the US debt ceiling. He immediately called EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson to have her write new regulations for hair brushes!
Patriotism Calls
Former Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss offered her services to President Obama and his cabinet members. Hopefully, this offer will get the Obama administration off the backs of the American people!
Smart Decision
President Obama is to close the EPA. This act reduces government spending, encourages private sector economic growth, saves various industries money and increases government revenue!
Obama Appeals to a Voting Block
President Obama suggested he would, via Executive Order, reinstitute slavery if he didn't get 98% of the African American vote in the 2012 election!
Tax the Rich White House Staffers
141 of President Obama's staffers are paid over a $100,000 salary per year and many received 16% raises. Mr. President the US has a 9.1% unemployment rate of people who wished they earned any wages!
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