Alzheimer's Awareness Week. What are the signs?
What are the signs of what? I know; let's have a cup of tea and talk about the war
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Duchess of Cambridge asks Queen for secret of long happy marriage
Queen says; Never piss me off and always wear a seat belt
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Things people should only try once……..
Bungee Jumping with Noel Edmonds
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When Barack Obama was asked…….
When Barack Obama was asked what is was like to be the most powerful man in the world, he said, What; I own Microsoft and Google?
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Worst pun ever?
Michelle Bachmann - turn her over, drive. You ain't seen nothing yet!
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Murdoch Monopoly
Rupert Murdoch is promoting his new version of Monopoly. Wapping has taken the place of Mayfair.
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written by
j.w., 03 July 2011
Promotion for Hunt
Jeremy Hunt, Minister of Sky is to be promoted to the post of Minister of Murdoch.
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written by
j.w., 03 July 2011
When Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough were asked....
When Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones were asked what their views were on Global Warming, they answered in unison,
"EH ?"
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When Gordon Ramsay was asked....
When Gordon Ramsay was asked how he felt about his father-in-law being a "serial paterfamilias" he answered. "How the f**k do you think I f*****g well feel you f*****g moron. F**K OFF."
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When Carlos Tevez was asked......
When Tevez was asked how he felt about the Inter Milan 'swap' falling through he wept and answered, "I'm devestated. Their kit is much more colourful than Man. City's"
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Strangest news story today
Tesco to sell petrol for home delivery
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When Dr Who was asked if he ever shagged an assistant
He replied, which one of us are you asking?
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8 car pileup in Scotland
Essex traffic police close M25 as a precaution
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Royal couple sail to Quebec City
French declare ten mile exclusion zone
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Oil spill hits Yellowstone River
Yogi Bear held for questioning
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Louis Walsh cleared of lude behaviour
Close friend Simon Cowell says "He's a real good bloke, he would bend over backwards for anyone. Hang on, that's probably not helping"
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Housing benefit cut to £500 per week
Queen and PM looking for new homes
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High fat food, smoking and drinking are good for you
Says government pensions office
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Cornwall £1 wedding vending machine
Yes, you can now get married for just a £1 but divorce still costs about thirty grand
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When Steven Hawkings was asked....
When Steven Hawkings was asked anything, he replied.................................................
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When the Pope was asked....
When the Pope was asked if he was truly celebate he answered,
"Was OJ really guilty?"
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When Dr. Phil was asked.....
When Dr. Phil McGraw was asked if he was still in love with his wife, he answered,
"Hey y'all...I've been doing this for over 30 years. This ain't my first rodeo y'all."
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When OJ was asked....
When OJ was asked if he lied on 'the stand' he said,
"Who? Me? What do YOU think?"
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When Prince Charles was asked.....
When Prince Charles was asked if he regretted never being King of England...he replied....
"Hey, it's not over 'till the old lady croaks."
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Lady Gaga meets Torontonian Lady Gay Gay
They fell in 'love' of some sort and married today. Go, go, Gaga and Gay Gay. Go galloping gaily, growing gorgeouster each day. Go gallantly not giving a crap!
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Andy Murray in too much of a hurry
Andy Murray lost his dream at Wimbledon when he was in too much of a hurry to win. He should have listened to his ancestors,'Murray Mints, Murray Mints. Too good to hurry mints.'
Andy-too fast!
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