James Murdoch lied to Select Committee
really?
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NI Riots
Riots in Northern Ireland after Cameron confuses News International for Northern Ireland in security check.
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written by
j.w., 21 July 2011
Hacking Cough
I've got this hacking cough through swallowing all the crap in the News of the World.
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written by
j.w., 21 July 2011
First Things First
Thieves in Tucson broke into a jewelry store and all they stole were the security surveillance cameras.
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People Had Better Adhere To The Sign Or Else
The English Parliament has just put up a sign at the entrance which reads: Absolutely no shaving cream pies allowed beyond this point.
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Now That's A Likely Story
A flight crew on a plane bound for LAX found a stun gun in a passenger's boxer shorts. The embarrassed passenger replied that he merely uses it to warm up the complimentary pretzels.
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Rupert Murdoch Is Still Having Shaving Cream Pie Flashbacks
Due to the Rupert Murdoch shaving cream pie-in-the-face incident sales of shaving cream pies in England have nearly tripled.
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Drugs revelation
Yorkshire drug addicts are now using dental syringes to inject Ecstacy direct into their gums - A practice known as 'E by gum'.
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Hacking 'gag' lifted from royal lawyer?
Kinda pissed at them stealing all my best gags!
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Police for TV
A new TV show The Met in Action is being shown by Sky on it History Channel
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written by
j.w., 21 July 2011
Vanessa to be Mrs Thatcher
Vanessa Redgrave is to become Mrs Thatcher in a fictional account of the former Prime Minister's life.
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written by
j.w., 21 July 2011
So Farewell, The US Manned Space Programme
Thanks for the memories.
(I finally got to the Kennedy Space Center last year. Terrific.)
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Top Vets Called In
The 10 Downing Street cat has only had a medium vetting procedure instead of the high priotity vetting normally given to cats aware of high security information.
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written by
j.w., 21 July 2011
Inappropriate Action
Allowing yourself to be found out.
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written by
j.w., 21 July 2011
BREAKING NEWS...
Harper 7 Beckham claims NOTW journalists hacked her Ultrasound scans.... more to follow...
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Bradford man stuck in Durex machine
'Insert £2 and push in knob" probably not the best instruction.
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Burt "By The Hair of His Chinny Chin Chins" Reynolds Is One Vain Old Geezer
The very, very, vain Burt Reynolds has just had his fifth double chin removed. And doctors are starting to get concerned because this one had a belly button attached to it.
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Hello Dolly It's Good To See 'Em Back Up Where They Belong
Dolly Parton said that she knew she had gotten up in years the night she took her bra off and her boobs smashed the heck out of both of her feet.
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The American Dollar Is Doing Some 'Funny' Stuff
Since the American dollars aren't really worth much anymore, the U.S. Treasury Department is considering replacing George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Alexander Hamilton with Moe, Larry, and Curly.
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Happy 50th Birthday Mr. President
President Obama who will be turning 50 on August 4, has asked that in lieu of a big birthday cake that he would much rather just have the $700 cash instead.
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Danny Devito - A Little Guy With Big Dreams
Danny Devito, who is 4 foot 10, says that he really hates the fact that the only movie roles he gets offered now are small parts.
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The True Black, Red, White, and Blue Actor
Denzel Washington says that in keeping with his patriotic love of America, he will be changing his name to Denzel Washington D.C.
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Simon & Garfunkel - One Wore A Toupee and The Other Was Named Art
Songwriter Paul Simon, who wears a toupee, recently wrote a song called "50 Ways To Straighten Out Your Toupee."
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Barbara Hershey - The Actress With The Sweet Surname
Actress Barbara Hershey has remarked that in order to be more politically correct name-wise she will be officially changing her name to Barbara M&Ms.
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Rupert Murdoch's Wife Charged with Assault
After delivering a right-cross to the chin of the would-be cream pie thrower at Murdoch's cross examination, Wendy Murdoch has been bailed to appear at Bow Street magistrates court on August 15th.
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