Jane Fonda becomes North Korean citizen
Kim Jong-Il happy with Hanoi Jane's work for communism has decided to award her permanent North Korean citizenship, with royal treatment should she move to the hermit kingdom.
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Murdoch's wife speaks of love for husband
Me love you long time Mr Lupert
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Rupert Murdoch's Five Favorite Desserts
Alibi Pie
Half-Baked Excuses
Amnesia a la Mode
Cream-Filled Canards
And from Carvel... Fudgie the Truth
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Rebekah Brooks Linked to Debbie Wasserman Schultz!
Former NOW editor and DNC chair said to both be using same hair stylist with similar results. "If you think their head looks bad, you should see them nude, it's a jungle out there" said both spouses.
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written by
Morse, 20 July 2011
Obama Taps US Oil Reserves Yet Again!
Executive Decision related to grounding of Air Force 1 forcing cancellation of upcoming Martha's Vineyard vacation due to lack of fuel.
Says riding AMTRAK to Camp David with Biden ' too dangerous!'
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written by
Morse, 20 July 2011
Baby Godiva Causes Mild Reaction in First Public Appearance!
More modest than her mother, fledgling writer appeared in Swaddling Clothes
claiming she was the result of 'immaculate conception." Proud LG denies reports saying, "she came as no surprise to me!"
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written by
Morse, 20 July 2011
Michele Backmann Denies Migraine Reports!
Does admit, however, President Obama continues to be a 'big F****g pain in the Ass" not to mention he gives her 'tremendous gas ."
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written by
Morse, 20 July 2011
Mickey Mouse admits...
...Yes I do own a Rupert Murdoch watch!
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Second-Hand Smoke Sure Does Cause A Lot of Damn Things!
The International Anti-Smoking Coalition has just released proof that second-hand smoke now also causes hearing loss, athlete's foot, lisping, and dandruff.
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For 'Foodness' Sakes - No Kidding!
Food studies show most restaurants underestimate the amount of calories in their food menu items. The study was conducted by the same folks who said petting a shark could get your fingers bitten off.
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John "The Rug" Wayne Stood A Hair Above All of The Rest
The reason why bald-headed John Wayne wore a toupee was because everyone knows that there were no bald cowboys in the Wild West.
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Cher and Cher Alike
Cher says she is going to have to go back to using her full name of Cher Bono because people are starting to confuse her with Cher the transgendered Las Vegas ventriloquist.
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Elton "The Great White Hunter" John Has Been Having Some Animalistic Urges
Elton John is extremely concerned that his latest hair implants may have come from Africa due to the fact that all of a sudden he has a tremendous urge and desire to stalk and shoot a lion.
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Diana "The Damn Demanding Diva" & The No-Show Supremes
Diana Ross wanted to do a concert tour as Diana Ross & The Supremes but scrapped the idea because she could not find two elderly black singers who would put up with her prima donna-diva bullshit.
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Minnesota's Embarrassing State Government Shutdown May Be Over Soon
Minnesota's 3 week government shutdown may be ending soon. The state plans to sell off 50% of the state desks, chairs, staplers, pencil sharpeners, and Jacuzzis to make sure it does not happen again.
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The Reason Heidi Montag Will Not Visit Arizona
Females who have had silicone breast implants are warned to stay out of Arizona since the extreme heat will cause the plastic to melt emitting a horrendous odor that even skunks will run from.
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Piers Morgan once again in spotlight he doesn't WANT to be in
Piers Morgan has been mentioned in the NOW phone hacking scandal. He was not available for comment as he is preparing to host a new "Reality Game Show" which is named "Tell the Truth".
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Rupert Murdock Is Not Very Good With His "H's"
Rupert Murdock states that he has no knowledge of hacking. He also admits to having no knowledge of Hitler, Hirohito, or Heidi Montag.
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Joan Rivers Was Not With Child
A highly reliable source noted that the last time that Joan Rivers had liposuction doctors removed 9 pounds of Geritol marinated fat.
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Well Let's See An A Cup Is Bigger Than a Minus A Cup
Paula Abdul has denied having had breast augmentation surgery. The tiny X-Factor judge replied, "If I'd had a boob job do you really think I would have wasted my money having them done this little?"
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Now That Is One Heck of A 1960s Country Music Hairdo
Wow! With that puffed up hairdo Michele Bachmann has just become The Loretta Lynn of Politics.
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Danny "The Munchkin" Devito Is Tired of Being A Midget
Danny Devito, the little actor, says that he has always been self-conscious of the fact that he is only 4 foot 10 inches tall and as a result he has decided to have a knee-stretching procedure done.
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Arrest the man who tried to 'pie' Murdoch
Arrest this guy for MISSING his mark. For crying out loud, you'd have thought he'd have practised a bit and 'hit his target'. He needs locking up he does!
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Obama Political Kick the Can
Pres. Obama threatens to veto House GOP sponsored cut, cap & balance measure, which will stall in the Senate. If the bill passes the Senate, the president is in deep doo-doo with the American people!
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The US has a Plethora of Problems, Needs More
Investigation of the germs on play yard equipment located at fast food restaurants continues. Sounds like the loony left food police, as kids have been playing in germs for 5000 years!
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Nothing More Need be Said!
Hamas spokesman wearing a Burqua, carrying an AK 47 rifle, condemned the seizure by the Israeli Navy of a French yacht carrying pro-Palestinian activists headed for the legally blockaded Gaza Strip!
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What Part of Criminal Don't You Understand
A Baltimore MD mayoral candidate's plan to reduce violence includes a "bullet tax" to increase the cost of committing a crime. Yes, every time a criminal "buys" bullets the city will sock it to him!
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More in Your Pants
EPA and OSHA like all government bureaucratic organizations are creating new potential dangers to regulate, in order to keep receiving funding from Congress!
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Alien Thinking Found
Astrophysicists discover alien force field (Beltway) encircling Washington DC that blocks all common sense from being utilized to solve the nation's economic problems!
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The Sky is Falling
The State of Maryland has a $1.2 billion structural deficit, but rabid environmentalists believe the biggest problem the state faces is lost crab traps in the Chesapeake Bay!
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Hazardous Employment
White House Press Secretary Carney was rushed to GWU hospital experiencing a choking fit. Once doctors extracted all the Obama administration half-truths from his throat he was pronounced fit!
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