Spoof news snippets from Friday 15 July 2011
White House Reveals Why Obama Stormed Out of Debt Ceiling Talks
President was angry that Republicans wouldn't give him yet another opportunity to cave in to them.
Not cynical but......
So Rebekah Brookes finally resigns from News Corp. On the day the BBC journalists are on strike.......... nice coup Sky
Michelle Obama The Real Deal
Michelle Obama is asking people to please not confuse her with that other Michele. She said that Bachmann spells her first name with one "L," is a white woman, and has a husband who acts kind of gay.
Denmark Airports Are Looking To Bring In Some Income
Denmark is planning on implementing their own version of America's Pat Down Procedure. But they add that the passengers will have to pay an extra $5 for it.
Glenn Beck - The Guy Who Cries A Lot
Glenn Beck denies that he is thinking about having sexual reassignment surgery just because he was caught wearing lipstick and sporting a Hannah Montana T-Shirt.
Good Old Iceland Wants To Help America
Iceland offers to lend the United States some money but they want The Statue of Liberty as collateral.
Richard Nixon and Elvis send note to Spoof
In desperation to take a break from the Caption Competion, Elvis and Tricky Dicky have sent a pleading letter to The Admin at the Spoof. It included a petition signed by 24 Spoof Writers.
"Tight", obese Scottish couple win millions and vow to spend none!
A very large and "tight" Scottish couple have won millions on the Euromillion lottery and being devoted, traditional, Scottish scrooges have vowed to spend none apart from on food!
Rupert Murdoch Expresses Heartfelt Regret About Corruption At News International
'I'm so very, very sorry,' he told those traumatised by the actions of his corporation, 'that we didn't get away with it.'
Pissed up Pole arrested in Germany for laughing in public!
A pissed up Pole was arrested in Germany for laughing loudly in public, being pissed was not the problem, but laughing loudly in public, INTOLERABLE, Sieg Heil!
Newsagent Conspiracy
With the News of the World unavailable this Sunday I have been offered the alternative of the Observer.
9/11 Haunts News International
IF it is proved someone from News International hacked into the phones of those missing during the 9/11 tragedy there might then be an admission of failure.
Murdoch's Mistake
He didn't get much wrong really. It was mostly the fault of the Police who should have known better.
Rebekah's Hair
Message from Rebekah's Mum: 'Now darling you will have time to get a haircut.'
Air Force One, Now Boarding At Gate 17
President Obama has said that in an effort to raise money whenever he is not using Air Force One he will allow it to be used for commercial travel.
Michele Bachmann Doing Her Good Old Girl Damage Control
Michele Bachmann is insisting that her husband is not gay and that he just looks like he is.
Well A Little Here and A Little There...
President Obama in a desperate bid to address the U.S. debt crisis has asked the world's countries for loans. Mexico called and offered $75.
Even Oprah Is Having Her Doubts
President Obama asked Oprah Winfrey for a loan and she told him that he needs to have a pretty damn good co-signer.
New Boss for Ministry of Information
Boss Mr Pue, explained to our reporter: "Using the new electroencephalographic process, we can develop the causative link that will clarify the glottochronological affect, as a catalyst for a précis"
British Inelegance latest victim of budget cuts
A spokesman for MI three and a half said; "That's not funny"
RebeKKKaaaah Brooks Resigns
Ding dong the witch is dead, the witch is dead, the witch is dead, the wicked witch is dead!
BBC journalists stage one day strike
If that's true; who wrote the headline?
Schwarzenegger to make Hollywood return
Schwarzenegger said; "I told you I'll be back"
Mexico funds huge marijuana farm
I'm sorry, that headline should have read; Mexico finds huge marijuana farm
UK threat level raised
Lincolnshire arm of Al-Qaeda to take up home brewing
David Gilmour's son charged with student fees protest violence
When asked how he felt Mr Gilmour said; "Uncomfortably numb"
Queen to unveil Bletchley tribute
She will be there at 24 52 14 485 658 225 431 7719 6632 8574
Computer glitch wakes shuttle crew
Windows has been updated and will restart you computer in 5, 4, 3……………………
Met chief under pressure for hiring NoW man
Chief says; "He lied of his application form. He told us he was the editor of Aryan Supremacy Weekly, not the News of The World"
The Secretary of State Tells It like It Damn Is!
Hillary Clinton remarked that neither Sarah Palin nor Michele Bachmann are cut out for the dog-eat-dog world of politics and both should just get their asses back into the kitchen and bake something.
The Battle of The Presidential Veeps
Dick Cheney and Joe Biden are being touted to star in their own reality show called I'm The Better V.P. Punk - No I'm The Better V.P. Bitch.
"Shotgun" Sarah Palin Is Already Making Campaign Promises
Sarah Palin has promised that if she is elected president she will personally take on the task of stalking and shooting The Abominable Snowman.
Naomi Campbell and Ann Coulter - Kinda Like Night and Day
Ann Coulter and Naomi Campbell have both been invited to appear on the new reality show Celebrity Hells Kitchen. The producers said both she devils would be damn perfect for the show.
Sexting Can Cause Pregnancy
Due to the success of the reality show Pregnant and 16, MTV will soon be introducing a new spin off, Pregnant and 60.
Sarah Palin Is Reportedly Looking Through The Dictionary
Highly reliable sources say that both The Nestea Company and The Lipton Tea Company are thinking about suing Sarah Palin for illegally using the name The Tea Bag Party.
The Truly Disappointed David Crosby
David Crosby wanted to appear on the new reality show Deadliest Catch: The Celebrity Version, but was turned down by the producers due to the weight limit.
Michele Bachmann Doesn't Own A Rifle But Says She'll Rent One
Michele Bachmann in order to take away some of the hunting vote from Sarah Palin has agreed to appear on Dog The Bounty Hunter.
MI5 Hacked Rupert Murdoch's Hearing Aid
MI5 can now monitor the conversations of News Corp's boss making it hard for him to deny knowledge of wrongdoings.
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