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Rating:

Ted Williams

I demand an update...even if I didn't get his name right.
Where is he? How is he? Is that what is know by 15 mins. of fame? Then I demand MORE!

written by Lady Godiva, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Egypt Revolt Spreads

Egypt revolt becomes global case study as zombies in Haiti demand more BRAINS!

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Abusive Priest Abused

Pennsylvania priest defends self on radio in sex abuse case. Tarred and feathered by mob as soon as he leaves the building.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Paul McCartney Admits He's Quite Vain

Genius and all round nice guy and most popular Beatle still alive,Sir Paul('I'm older than 64 now')McCartney has finally admitted he is quite vain.
'I've still got all me own hair you know.'he said.

written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Bieber's Balls Drop

Pop Phenomenon Justin Bieber today won £10 when he got three numbers on the National Lottery.
'It all counts' said Bieber.

written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Scientists Building Largest Antimatter Trap Ever

Scientists say they are using a variation on the theory that it can trick it into believing that it matters.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

US Vetoes Resolution

US vetoes UN resolution on Israeli settlements. Also, resolution to move all of Israel to Florida.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Unconstitutional to Force Enrollments

Feds ask Florida judge to clarify meaning of health care ruling. "I voted against it", he tells them.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Obama Backs Union Uproar!

However, the Tea Party say they support the Confederacy. Will they vote to succeed from the Union?

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Real Name is Woodrick?

Indiana considers Marijuana Legalization. Isn't Woody Harrelson from Indiana or was that the character "Woody" on Cheers?

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Then Who Will Pay?

Obama wants to charge Canadians for crossing the US border. Canadians reply:"Wait until dollar is devalued."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Trees Need Protection

Gritting icy roads 'kills thousands of trees each year by starving them of moisture'. Though protesters admit it saved a few dozen lives.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Ahmadinejad Denounces Obama

Ahmadinejad: Obama can't spell his own name. Uses other insults concerning "hole in the ground".

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Mexican Exports Down

Income drops dramatically in Mexico when Charlie Sheen in rehab.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Elderly, Handicapped Not Able to Protest

REPORT: Average city teacher compensation tops $100,000. Average social security checks $8,000. Guess who got a raise the past two years?

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

States Ignored Warnings

States ignored warnings on unemployment insurance for thirty years, just like everything else. Ask for bailouts from broke federal government.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

G-20 Confessions

G-20 reach compromise deal on imbalances. At least ten admit that they are imbalanced.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Troops to Pull Out of Wisconsin

Wisconsin Governor orders state troopers to bring Democrats to Capitol. "Use handcuffs and leg irons. Boy is this fun or what?"

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Spud Protesters

Idaho offical target of threats over education reform plan, when to plant your potatoes.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Slip of the Tongue

Pa. judge guilty of racketeering in kickback case. Regrets calling it "That Kickback Case" to reporters last year.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Looks a Lot Like 32nd #2

Seventy-Second Al-Qaida No. 2 issues video after Egypt upheaval.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Meanwhile US Going Tits Up!

Obama promotes jobs by way of education, rebuilding of transit system. As usual, completely vague on details.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

House'Passes Tough Bill

House passes sweeping domestic cuts, bloody turd on military weapons cuts.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Signs of the Times

School bus ads concern officials, especially the "Drink Coors Beer" on those in Denver.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Royal Bad Taste

UK royal wedding draws tasteless merchandise like Royal wedding night condoms, Lennon-Yoko nude pics with William & Kate's heads.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

TV Reporter Speaks Out

TV reporter speaks about speech problem at Grammys. "Came right after interview with Bob Dylan."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Palin Expose

Aide planning tell-all about time with Palin. Move applauded by Democrats, 90% of Republicans.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Gays Gain Status

New Facebook status options applauded by gay users. No more "Jason is looking for a relationship". Now it's "Jason is looking for a big one."

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Solar Flares Rougher in the North

Massive solar flares last week apparently destroyed 90% of Eskimo homes.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

US Mulls Response To Hi-Jackings

Pirates hijack 4 Americans; US mulls responses, hot cider toddy.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Prez To Get Psychiatric Help on Mother-In-Law in His Own Home

Report: Congressman urged to get psychiatric help. House says that President Obama or whoever he really is, will be next.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Dust Bunny Law Passed By House

House passes sweeping cuts to domestic programs. Also, vacuuming will only be allowed once every two weeks or fines will follow.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

House Passes Sweeping Cuts

House passes sweeping cuts to domestic programs. "Stay-at-home" moms no longer can call that a job. However, there are no stay-at-home moms so that one was wasted. Also the one on sweeping.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Speaking Two Languages #2

Speaking 2 languages may delay getting Alzheimer's. "Great", say teens. "That means we're going to be fine. LOL.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Speaking Two Languages

Latest: Speaking 2 languages may delay getting Alzheimer's. However, at least one has to be a real language.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

More Protests

Protesters laid off from the Viagra and Levitra factories say they too are standing firm.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Must Be Some Cuts For US to Pay Bills

House passes sweeping cuts to domestic programs. "It's either that or declare bankruptcy", states one Representative.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Protesters Standing Firm

Bahrain, Libya, Yemen, Wisconsin pull back military; protesters stand firm.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Fresh Roadkill

A Hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute, and that doubles during sexual arousal which sadly causes it to explode! Next time you see one splattered on the road, you know it at least died happy.

written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Kids, Don't Try This At Home

Transport worker Laurie Driver paid the ultimate penalty when he tried to sneeze with his eyes open and his head blew off!
'It's very sad really,' said his wife.

written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Memory Like A Sieve

Poor Goldfish,not only do they get stuffed in a little bowlwith a terrible view,but they also only have a 3 second memory span...'We need a loaf...I'll have a cup of tea please.'

written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Rating:

That's Tremendous

Only 4 words in the English language end in OUS.Horrendous,Stupendous,Hazardous and Tremendous.Isn't that Fabulous!

written by Mr Goster, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Fixed Odds SPL Fixtures

5/3/11


D'dee Utd v Ab'deen


Home Evens

Away 2/1

Match Off Betting closed

written by grimbo, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Tea Party To Counter-Attack

Idaho offical target of threats over education reform plan as Egypt and Bahrain come to America.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

I Gotta Steal Mine!

Lindsay tells Entertainment Yipee that that airhead idiot Paris hilton gets all the publicity for doing nothing.

written by Bureau, 19 February 2011
Rating:

UK P.M. Adds Cat to Ministry.

UK PM David Cameron has defended a decision to bring a rescued tabby into the coalition ministry, saying "Hopefully, this will eliminate any rats in the ranks and separate the mice from the men".

written by Baz Barry, 19 February 2011
Rating:

Get this

When does two wrongs make a right? "Never" according to Brian Chupplestick of Stoke Road Wolverhampton. "Just not plausible in my view and I should know because I'm important." Bollocks, Brian.

written by whatinthe world, 19 February 2011
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