Spoof news snippets from Sunday 13 February 2011
Iran Banned In Facebook On Opposite Day
FACEBOOK, UNITED WEBSITES OF INTERNET - Facebook has banned the nation from all of its servers on Opposite Day. "They've constantly violated many FB rules," said Zuckerberg. "Three strikes & out."
New Disorder Discovered
A 75-year-old actor from Milton Keynes, retired from his profession last year. He has now been diagnosed as suffering from PDSD... that is Post Dramatic Stress Disorder
Man Cons Pie Seller
Simple Simon,a local con man was going to a fair when he saw a mobile pie shop.
'I'd love one of your juicy steak pies,' said Si.
'No problem,'said the Pieman.
Simon took the pie and ran off.
Jockey Club Upgrade Horseshoe Threat Level
From 'Lucky' to 'Lethal'.
Something Sounds Fishy
Science Fact.Fish can't actually swim.It's an illusion and because we only ever see them in water we assume they must be swimming.They are just floating and using the currents to glide about a bit.
Knock Knock,Who's There?
75% of all knock knock jokes come from the same family in Chester-Le-Street, County Durham.The Harrison family own the rights having bought them from the late Bob Monkhouse.
Meat Loaf Not His Real Name
Rock superstar and 'Bat Out Of Hell' inventor Meat Loaf joked with fans today when he revealed Meat isn't his real name.I'm actually called Noel Sliced-White but Meat Loaf sounds more showbiz.
Vandalism at Tate Britain
Tate Britain in London has been smeared by "a horrible, sticky mess" after the gallery accepted sponsorship from BP.
The oil and feathers were subsequently shortlisted for the 2011 Turner Prize.
Jerry Hall 's Windfall
Artwork owned by model Jerry Hall has raised more than £2 million at Sotheby's in London.
Hall claimed she was "letting go of the past" and "wasn't afraid of change".
Especially not £2.4 of it.
Why Did The Ostriches of Africa Finally Give Up The Habit Of Sticking Their Heads In The Sand
Because they got tired of zebra jokesters sneaking up behind them and kicking them in their asses.
Paris Hilton's Pen Has Run Out Of Invisible Ink
...And she has no idea where to go to buy some more.
Why Are African Sheep The Angriest Animals In The Entire World?
Because the damn elephant bitches use them as tampons.
Filler Content Here
BIRMINGHAM - Spoofer Inhopeless added a bunch of nonsense filler content to his Snippet post today. Filler filler filler filler filler. "I need to reach 200 letters," he says, while trying to think.
What Is The One Job In The World Where No One Has Ever Advanced
Kamikaze pilot.
Scientist Make An Amazing Discovery About Elephants
Elephants don't always remember and in fact most of the time they do forget.
A Woman In Omaha Gets A Kangaroo's Pocket Transplanted Onto Her Stomach
She said she loves it and it comes in damn handy when she goes shopping at the supermarket.