NYC Riot Police Break Up Manger Scene
Cops dismayed to find that church youth group they beat weren't members of Occupy Wall St. ACLU at a loss deciding whom to defend.
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written by
manbrad, 08 December 2011
Sir Alex Ferguson joins David Cameron in "Exit Europe Campaign"!
Man United have joined the Conservatives in their "Exit Europe Campaign". Cameron personally thanked Sir Alex for his solidarity in the crap show against Basel. Sir Alex replied "dankerschoen"!
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"Big price Drop!"
Tesco has suffered a fall in its UK sales for a fourth consecutive quarter, despite a (supposed) £500m discounting campaign!
"Every LIDL helps!"
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Gary Glitter's Children's Outfitters Business Slumps.
"I cant believe this! Why cant people just forget the past and move on?" said a dejected Glitter from outside a school yesterday afternoon.
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Cure For Ovarian Cancer Found In Noel Edmonds' Trousers
"This is absolutely sensational news and almost makes up for me being a complete and utter tool" said a delighted Edmonds last night
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Rooney 'goal' disallowed
In a controversial decision Wayne Rooney's third goal against Manchester City has been disallowed because he kicked the goalkeeper into the net with the ball.
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written by
j.w., 08 December 2011
Boris Pizza
A large collection of Boris Johnson's piss awful pronouncements have been collected into a giant Pissa.
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written by
j.w., 08 December 2011
Inflation
A balloon is suffering from extreme inflation and is threatening to burst if any more economic hot air is pumped into him.
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written by
j.w., 08 December 2011
The End
After predicting the end of the world would be caused by the public sector one day strike David Cameron now envisages the end of the Universe if the Euro collapses
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written by
j.w., 08 December 2011
Clarkson Ponders
What outrageous thing can I say to make sure everybody is talking about me?
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written by
j.w., 08 December 2011
Torment in Hell
Jeremy Clarkson says he has been tormented by a vicious strike from a man from Hell who then committed suicide by jumping in front of Clarkson's car.
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written by
j.w., 08 December 2011
Nativity Brawl Arrest
Two people a child and donkey have been arrested after neighbours claimed they were squatting illegally.
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written by
j.w., 08 December 2011
Referendum
David Cameron is against a Referendum on Europe because he knows he would lose.
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written by
j.w., 08 December 2011
Hacking
I've been a Hack all my working life and now I get criticised for Hacking!
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written by
j.w., 08 December 2011
Excuses
I was told off for parking in a Disabled Bay - what a cheek! I was disabled - I wasn't able to find anywhere else to park.
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written by
j.w., 08 December 2011
Lindsay Lohan Is A "Winning" Loser
Lindsay Lohan has just been named by Dysfunctional Illustrated Magazine as 2011's Luckiest Bitch In America.
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The Future of The Penn State Football Program
Penn State University has stated that if everyone agrees to stop making Penn State football jokes they will promise to drop their football program and focus on girls volleyball.
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Paris Hilton Shows Why She Is Hollywood's Top "Airhead"
Paris Hilton was asked which GOP presidential candidate did she feel won the last debate. Paris smiled for a few seconds and then replied, "I have to say I think it was Donald Trump, he's hot."
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Regis Philbin Is Coming Back To TV Land
Regis Philbin is currently in talks with the Fox Network about developing a new reality game show to be called, Okay So Who Wants To Be A Political Groupie?
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NHS to Make Massive Savings in Surgical Gloves
NHS cutbacks mean that doctors will be able to remotely monitor patients in their own home and administer drugs without the need to wash their hands or use surgical gloves. They'll save water too!
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Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne - To make more cuts!
Not surprising really, an anagram of his name is Serene go-go rob!
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Where Oh Where Is Aldi The Smoking Two-Year-Old?
Aldi, the infamous two-year-old smoking Indonesian baby is now 3, and he has taken up drinking vodka and is reportedly dating a nine-year-old girl.
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Kim Kardashian Feels She Was More Than Generous
Kim Kardashian does not understand why her soon-to-be ex-husband Kris Humphries is all upset about the $2 million ring since she did agree to let him keep his clothes, his shoes, and his basketballs.
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The Cosmetics World Is Always On The Cutting Edge
Revlon has just announced its latest perfume - Eau du WiFi.
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Herman Cain Longs For The Good Old Days of Pizza Making
As if Herman Cain doesn't already have enough female problems now comes word that his wife just found an X-ray of Kim Kardashian's ass in his underwear drawer.
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John Goodman Can Sure Put Away The Groceries
John Goodman says that he has put on so much weight that he has to use MapQuest in order to find his mouth.
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What Is The CSI Quota?
This CSI business is getting out of hand with shows like CSI:Miami, CSI:Las Vegas, CSI:New York, and CSI:Los Angeles. Now comes word that coming this January will be CSI:Tijuana.
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They grow up so fast
Japanese baby food company recalls 400,000 cans of infant formula containing radioactive cesium after an enormous toddler nursed on it defeats sumo champion Yokozuna Hakuho.
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Old habits die hard
Former Illinois Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich convicted of corruption charges, sentenced to 14 years in prison. They were going to send him to the electric chair, but he sold it.
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What Planet is the President From?
President Obama said that cutting government regulations to achieve economic success won't work. Then his increasing regulations by the thousands should have the US economy really cooking by now!
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Maybe a Four Left Legged Bull Moose
PRESIDENT OBAMA: I wannabe a progressive like Teddy Roosevelt. VP BIDEN: I knew Theodore Roosevelt and President Obama is not Teddy!
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