Prince Philip feeling better, resumes dropping racial epithets
Hospital staff report that Prince Philip is better as the 92-year-old is once again full of piss and vinegar. In reference to a female Indian physician, he said, "Damn Asian nurses smell of curry."
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written by
Lyndon, 25 December 2011
NORAD volunteers angered by early callers
NORAD volunteers thought manning the Santa Hotline in the early morning hours would be easy. Said Bud Smits, "Little bastards started calling at 4 a.m. asking 'Where's Santa?' How about: Fuck off!"
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written by
Lyndon, 25 December 2011
Ref's Whistle Stolen. Tiny Clanger held.
When arrested he said "Whooooooo whooooop whoooooo whoooooooo whoooop whooooooooooooo whoooooop OFFSIDE! whoooooooooooooooooooooooo."
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Ron Paul Kicked Donald Trump's Arrogant Ass
A reporter told Ron Paul that Donald Trump wanted to see his birth certificate. Paul replied "Tell the bitch that I lost it during the Civil War."
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Ah What Was That Again Mr. Dylan?
60s music icon Bob Dylan is upset that his recent public service commercial for PETA included English subtitles.
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The Eskimos Know All About Global Warming
Eskimos in Alaska are starting to worry about global warming. A recent study showed that one in every four igloos is starting to show early signs of melting damage.
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China Is Certainly On The Cutting Edge
Reports out of Hong Kong state that Facebook has just become more popular in China than fortune cookies, chopsticks, and Chinese checkers.
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Hey Guys, Was The Elephant Invisible Or What?
Troops in Lower Zamgola are shocked at how an elephant, from neighboring Buffaranda, with four bombs in his trunk managed to get past their check point.
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The Spider is Colorfully Amazing
A research scientist in New Guinea has discovered a spider that can spin webs in every color of the rainbow. Apparently it has something to do with the spider's food coloring gene.
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Nancy Pelosi Knows Her Math
Nancy Pelosi recently said that if she had a nickel for every tear that John Boehner has shed since becoming the speaker of the house, she would have over 600,000 nickels.
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Paris Hilton's Ego Has Taken A Hell of A Beating
Paris Hilton is extremely angry that Lindsay Lohan was paid $1 million to pose in Playboy. Hilton said she told the publication that she would do it for $10,000. They never called back.
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Two-year-old Daniel Miliband breaks into a great big grin and then says loudly: "Bugger!"
He said this while playing with his building bricks in the garden.
"Future Prime Minister in the making there then!"
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Pope and his big house sold to bail out Italy
The Vatican was sold as reported earlier. Now the Pope is having second thoughts.
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