Rush for easter eggs on as crimbo shoppers kill two birds with one stone
Xmas shoppers have been snapping up easter eggs too as stores take advantage of the festive rush. Shopper Fred Flange said, 'I ain't going through this crowds shit again in a hurry so just as well.'
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Christmas shocker! 'The Buble' doing the honours this year.
News reaches us that Santa is unable to deliver millions of gifts this year around the world due to the measles. After sleigh training and gig reshuffles, Michael Buble will be doing the honours.
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A subscription letter from the 90s shows Ron Paul to be Jew-, gay-hating bigot with calm demeanor
Back in the 90s, politicians could charge $99 a year for people to read their rantings. A subscription letter penned by Ron Paul in 1993 shows Paul to be a calm hater of all things unlike Ron Paul.
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written by
Lyndon, 23 December 2011
Netflix CEO bonus cut doesn't add up, shareholders
Reed Hastings will be in line at area soup kitchens after learning that his $3 million bonus will be halved. But since many lost 75% of their stocks' value, they're wondering how a 50% cut computes.
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written by
Lyndon, 23 December 2011
Russia ask Mongolia advice about how to launch rockets!
After another space disaster Russia have asked Mongolia to help them with the problem, a 103 year-old Mongolian scientific monk told them, "point the thing skywards, it helps!"
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New Zealand get rocked into Christmas by an earthquake!
New Zealand have been visited by another earthquake ensuring them of a "rock and roll" Christmas
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Syria promise their people a "bomb" of a Christmas
The Syrian government refuse to stand down and have promised their people a "bomb" of a Christmas; the first one went off killing 40 people! Did Jesus ever walk into Syria?
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Christmas Cracker
Q What is the most popular yoghurt for Pigs?
A Oinken
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written by
j.w., 23 December 2011
Oxford English Dictionary Accepts Responsibility For Corrupt Bankers, Executives, Police, Politicians And The Media
'We had accidently swapped the definitions of Good and Evil,' confessed a spokesperson for the Dictionary's compilers. 'Leaders were simply following our definition in an honest attempt to do good.'
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Christmas Panic Buying Begins
'I simply never expected Christmas to come along at the end of December,' said a typical harassed shopper. 'It was a complete surprise.'
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Now That Is An Honest-To-Goodness True Fish Story
A Louisiana fisherman reportedly caught a 700 pound carp. A local game warden said that the man hurt his back while trying to turn the fish over in the frying pan.
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Paris, France Is A Whole Lot Nicer Than Zuccotti Park
The Occupy Wall Street protesters plan to send a 10 member contingent to Paris, France in January. So far they have had 9,371 people volunteer.
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Alec Baldwin Cannot Stand American Airlines
Alec Baldwin is still very upset with American Airlines and recently said that if he had to travel to London he would avoid American Airlines and take the Greyhound Bus.
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The Graffiti Situation Is Getting "Old"
The government of Egypt has said that they will catch the graffiti culprits who are going around spray painting the pyramids with the words "This pyramid is fake, it is made out of stucco."
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Michelle Rounds Says Her "Yes" May Turn Into A "No"
It seems Michelle Rounds is having second thoughts about marrying Rosie O'Donnell. When asked why, Michelle replied, "Have you actually taken a good close look at Rosie? - Bow-Wow City!"
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Drunk driver left 'housebound' by ban for being over the limit
Neil Craig, 69, of Raglan Court, Beeston, is the 3rd driver to be named and shamed in the Post's Christmas anti-drink driving campaign.
Tough - someone innocent could have been confined to a coffin!
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74 thefts from cars over five days in Nottingham is a 'Fall in crime!'
This 'Fall in theft from vehicles numbers' was due to a concerted Police campaign.
'Very encouraging!'
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Laos Is Not Afraid To Make A Musical Statement
Laos has banned rap music on Laotian radio. Authorities said the music has way too many lyrics and it causes the older people lots of stress, tension, and the urge to pee every 3 minutes or so.
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Tim Tebow Just Has A Better Agent
Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow gets to be the guest host on Saturday Night Live, while Tom Brady quarterback for the New England Patriots gets to film a commercial for Preparation H.
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Paris Hilton Is No Sarah Palin (Hmmm)
An astrologer in Belgium has noted he has positive proof that the Earth actually has four moons instead of one. Or as Paris Hilton calls it that cute, little, ping-pong ball thingy up in the sky.
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