B.B.C Cancel Christmas Day Episode of EastEnders.
The BBC has cancelled their scheduled Christmas broadcast of EastEnders. Apparently an extra can be seen smiling in a shot and the scene can't be cut or re-done as members of the cast are in rehab.
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written by
Micflex, 22 December 2011
B.B.C. ADMIT THEIR NEW HOME PAGE WAS DESIGNED BY 5-YEAR OLDS
A spokesperson said,"Yes, but in our defence we did not use just any 5-year olds, we gave 20, 5-year old chimpanzees an Argos catalogue and an 'Etch o Sketch' each. We like what they came up with."
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written by
Micflex, 22 December 2011
US navy's first public gay kiss!
The US navy have allowed 2 lesbians to kiss in public. The lesbians became lesbians because all the men on their ship were homo's!
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US admit air strike mistakes!
The US have admitted to air strike mistakes over Pakistan killing innocents. The pilots were ordered to target everybody wearing a turban, it could have been Bin Laden!
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Man arrested for playing Madonna song!
A man has been arrested for playing a Madonna song too early. He has been declared insane and locked away (who the hell would want to listen to ageing Madge songs apart from lunatics?).
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Dutch goalie kicks fan!
A Dutch goalie was given a red card for kicking a hooligan, the hooligan ended up getting red-balls, ouch!
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Twins born with two heads have double vision!
Siamese twins born with two heads will certainly be seeing everything double.
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Family adopts polar bear, it sleeps in the bath!
A Danish family has adopted a baby polar bear and it is sleeping in a bath full of icy water just to make it feel at home!
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What really caused the eurozone crisis?
Corruption maybe?
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Al Jolson headlines Liverpool FC Christmas bash!
In a final attempt to prove to the world that Luis Suarez and Liverpool FC are not racists they have hired Al Jolson to sing at their Chrissy bash. The Black and White Minstrels are his backing band!
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Awkward Moments in Office History:
H.R. Pufnstuf meets Payroll Pufnstuf.
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Award for Stupidest Name for a Planet announced
Planet KOI 55.01 received the Stupidest Name for a Planet Award at last night's end-of-year NASA Festival. Coming in a close second: KOI 55.02. The award was first given in 1781 when Uranus won.
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written by
Lyndon, 22 December 2011
Suffer from Diarrhoea? There's an app for that
Sufferers with runny tummy's can stop the flow quickly and easily by stuffing their iPhone up their arse. "I'm downloading it later," said one sufferer.
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written by
IainB, 22 December 2011
Revellers disappointed
New Year's Eve Revellers were left disappointed after visiting the Krakow Institute to watch Pole Dancers, when they were treated to a display of national dance.
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written by
IainB, 22 December 2011
Damning evidence from kettle results in court appearance for pot
RIP John Terry
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written by
pinxit, 22 December 2011
Yemen Has One Hell of A Surprise For Saudi Arabia
The government of Yemen has stated that if they are invaded by Saudi Arabia the invading infidels will be met by herds of two-humped camels with bombs strapped to both of their humps.
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The Occupy Wall Street Crowd Has It All Figured Out
The Occupy Wall Street protesters say that all they want for Christmas is to one day become part of the new 1% which would do away with the old 99% and make the old 1% the new 100%.
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The Tea Bag Party By Any Other Name
An anonymous member of the Tea Bag Party stated that since Sarah Palin left the party, membership has decreased by 70%. So as a result there are plans to rename the party the Diet Tea Bag Party.
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The United States and Canada Just Say "No" To The Fence
The plan to build a fence between the U.S. and Canada to keep out illegal aliens has been scrapped. The fence which was to have been made out of snow would have taken way too much snow to build.
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The Team Formerly Known As The Unbeaten Packers
The Green Bay Packers went 11-0 before losing to the Kansas City Chiefs 19-14. Reports are that some of the Packer fans are so upset that they are refusing to eat cheese products.
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The College Football Coach Was What By Who?
In a "What In The World?" story. Word coming out of an undisclosed town in Pennsylvania is that a 54-year-old college football coach was allegedly molested by a 12-year-old young boy.
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Newt Gingrich Says He Is No Rush Limbaugh
Newt Gingrich says he is tired of people confusing him with Rush Limbaugh. He wants to remind the people that Rush is the big fat one with a sarcastic mouth.
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Kathy Griffin Addresses The Lesbianite Rumors
Kathy Griffin is denying the rumors that she's the real reason why Kim Kardasian divorced Kris Humphries. The red-headed cougar stated that she does not like spoiled brat bitches.
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Cameron warns of tougher than Thatcher years to come!
Cameron last night warned of a year ahead "tougher than the first two" under Margaret Thatcher in the early 80s.
'Tought for who? - As if I need to ask!'
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