United Airlines' revolutionary idea: free checked baggage for Miles members
United will offer their Mileage Plus members free checked baggage, in other words, the same shit that used to be free. Said little 2-year-old Seb Ott, "Me no remember time when didn't pay for bags."
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written by
Lyndon, 31 August 2011
Mama Grizzly?
A real mama grizzly doesn't let her cub get pregnant.
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Scouts arrested
Three scouts were arrested today in Lytham St Annes selling brownies door to door. Apparently, the brownies parents complained.
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written by
IainB, 31 August 2011
BNP Crossword
The BNP have produced their very own crossword in their latest newsletter. It only has white squares.
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written by
IainB, 31 August 2011
Edible Houses To Go On Sale
Homeowners will soon be able to bite off more than they can chew when edible houses go on sale later this week. The buildings come in a variety of flavours, the most popular being salt and vinegar.
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written by
Darwin, 31 August 2011
Gaddaffi on stage
Colonel Gaddaffi will appear in a production of "King Lear" at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival. Cast in the central role, Gaddaffi will carp and bluster his way through the Bard's famous play.
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"Knee job" Hargreaves joins City and Utd fans have promised to give him a real "knee job!"
Crock, Owen Hargreaves, has joined Man city as the "crock of the flock" a similar role played by Ferdinand and Owen (not Owen)at Utd. Utd fans have promised to give Owen a real knee job, IRA style!
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Michael Vick signed for $100 million, but can't use it to buy a dog
Even if you've tortured dogs, if you're able to throw with accuracy an oval-shaped ball to players moving about the field while others jump on you, you can become a millionaire! But no dogs allowed.
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written by
Lyndon, 31 August 2011
Another Gem From The Geographical Mouth of Sarah Palin
Sarah "Snow Balls" Palin stated that she wishes that there was a way to somehow outsource hurricanes to Pakistan.
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Piers Morgan Says He Will Gladly Settle For Number Two
Piers Morgan said that as long as Ricky Gervais is in America he (Piers) will not be the most hated foreigner in the United States.
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Harold "Dumbass" Camping Needs To Go Away And Stay There
Harold Camping visited the flood water devastation in Vermont. He started saying, "I told you so," and within 15 seconds, 37 people jumped him and kicked his ass all the way to New Hampshire.
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Joan Rivers Keeps Looking More Space Alieny With Each New Botox Procedure
Walmart has taken every single one of its Joan Rivers Action Figure Dolls off the shelves due to the fact that they were literally scaring the hell out of little kids and old people.
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David Letterman Says Almost Nothing Scares Him
David Letterman said the rumor of him getting a sex-change operation to hide from the people that are after him is false. He saw a photo of himself as a girl and he was uglier than Ann Coulter.
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President Obama Says He Will Be Taking Another Vacation
President Obama says that since Hurricane Irene interrupted his vacation to Martha's Vineyard, he and his family will be taking a vacation in two weeks down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
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Nancy Pelosi Can't Stand Michele "Hair Spray" Bachmann
Nancy Pelosi says she is tired of getting confused with Michele Bachmann. She said that she (Nancy) has much prettier hair, she's a whole lot richer, and she doesn't smell like wet mulch.
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Charles "Fat Bro" Barkley Keeps Putting On The Tonnage
If former NBA basketball star Charles "Fat Bro" Barkley gets any fatter, he will be able to participate in next years Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena (as one of the floats).
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US Neo-Nazi Skinheads Re-Think Views
"If you think about it, a bunch of redneck, drunken hillbillies probably wouldn't have fit into Hitler's whole "Master Race" thing." says one. "He probably would've killed us and stuff, I guess."
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