When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's...
...Umami.' Heston Blumenthal
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written by
pinxit, 11 August 2011
Swim, Swim, Swim, Ouchhhhh!
The elderly female swimmer who was to have swum from Cuba to the United States had to stop when she hit boiling water off the Florida coast.
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At Least Michele Bachmann Is An Honest GOPette
Michele Bachmann was asked why she had that crazed look on her face on the Newsweek cover. She replied, "I was thinking that I could actually be elected president and it scared the hell out of me."
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Sarah Palin - The Woman Who Wants To Be Everything!
Sarah Palin is upset that Michele Bachmann is being called the Queen of Rage. Palin wants to be the Queen of Rage, and the Queen of Mean, the Queen of Ya Knowing, and the Queen of Moose Ambushing.
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The Fortune Cookie Factory Is Not Really A Fortune Cookie Factory
President Obama says he may go on vacation to China. He said that he and Michelle would love to see exactly where the billions and billions of dollars in loans are coming from.
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Mildred Baena Has A Brand New T-Shirt
Ex-Schwarzenegger maid Mildred Baena was seen wearing a T-shirt that read: "I'm a maid, I do windows, floors, and bedrooms, but I don't do bosses."
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Michele Bachmann and Mitt Romney - The Likeness is Hairy
Mitt Romney hates being called the Male Michele Bachmann. Michele Bachmann said she does not mind being called the Female Mitt Romney because she pointed out that he has much better looking hair.
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It Is Time To Insource The Outsourcers Outsourcees
Congressmen are taking a six-week vacation. Lets make it six months and bring in some of them Pakistani telemarketers to take their place since those fellas couldn't possibly mess things up any worse.
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Al Gore and Sarah Palin Take Stress To A Highly Stressful Level
Al Gore and Sarah Palin are two of the most stressful people in America and if they had a baby together it would probably be a 6 pound nerve.
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Pope Blamed for Riots
In a declaration that will shock the Vatican the Daily Mail has attacked the Pope for spreading wild liberal ideas which inspired youths rioting in Liverpool.
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written by
j.w., 11 August 2011
THIS IS NOT A JOKE
All jokes about the Riots are to be outlawed in a new 'Stop Trying to be Funny' law.
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written by
j.w., 11 August 2011
Waiting for a Bus
A family waiting for a Bus in the countryside have rioted in an effort to get attention.
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written by
j.w., 11 August 2011
I can't understand!
A secret agent who had infiltrated gangs of rioters has been relieved of his duties as he couldn't understand a word the rioters were saying.
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written by
j.w., 11 August 2011
England in the News
Worldwide interest in the dramatic events in England have caused the Scottish Nationalists, Sinn Fein and tPlaid Cymru to secede from what they called 'an infantile State.'
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written by
j.w., 11 August 2011
Riots in the House of Commons
Riots broke out in the House of Commons as MP's feared David Cameron would never stop talking about being responsible for their actions.
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written by
j.w., 11 August 2011
Spurs Unsafe
Due to UNFORSEEN CIRCUMSTANCES Spurs have called off their game with Everton this weekend. 'I got the date wrong' said Harry Redknapp 'we were on holiday in Tuscany discussing tactics with Cameron.'
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written by
j.w., 11 August 2011
Message to Rioters from MP's
Can we back on holiday now, please?
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written by
j.w., 11 August 2011
UK rioters and looters to get "six of the best" at their local schools
UK judges confronted with thousands of morons and over-filled jails are sentencing the scum to "six of the best" at local schools. Putting them in public stocks was too harsh, what a shame!
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Rubber Heads!
A Nation manipulated by it's government into giving consent for it's police to use rubber bullets - against children - instead of demanding those 'brave' policemen be issued with some rubber footwear!
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Luton and looting
Rioters are looting in Luton. Well, it had to happen eventually!
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Federal Government declares August "White History Month"
Congress announced today that Aug. is now officially White History Month. "It came down to August being the hottest, longest, most oppressive month of the year," Pres. Obama said. "It fit the theme."
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