Stocks in Hats Soar
After the Royal wedding stocks in hats have gone through the roof. Except, that is, cowboys hats, golf visors and the Jewish kippah.
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Ah Those Good Old Texas College Days - Pens, Paper, Notebooks, and A Colt .45
The Texas Senate has just passed a bill allowing handguns on college campuses. Next they will vote on allowing bullets in those handguns.
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Paris Hilton By Any Other Name Is Just As Ditsy
Paris Hilton has stated that she will not be visiting Lindsay Lohan when she goes to prison because she does not want to ruin her reputation. It was really not clear if she meant hers or Lohan's.
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Glenn "Crybaby" Beck Writes With A Waterproof Pen
Glenn Beck is planning on releasing his next book in September. It is titled, Tears on My Pillow, My Pajamas, and My Boxer Shorts
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Colonel Moammar "The Dancing Dude" Gadhafi?
The producers of Dancing With The Stars have asked Colonel Moammar Gadhafi if he would like to appear on next years edition of the reality dance show. No reply as of yet.
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The Ever Elusive Osama Bin Laden Strikes Again!
Reports filtering out of Pakistan state that Osama Bin Laden filmed the entire Royal Wedding and will be putting the entire video up on the Internet shortly.
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And Now It Is President Obama's Turn
President Obama has reversed the tables on Donald Trump. He now wants "Hairdo Boy" to show proof that he was born on this planet.
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Detroit Folks Are Very Particular About Certain Things
The word is that The Pee Wee Herman Rehab Clinic in Detroit will be closing due to the fact that nobody wants to go there because of the name.
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LiLo Lohan Will Certainly Be The Best Actress In Prison
Part of Lindsay Lohan's community service will be to teach acting to New York City street beggars...like how to hide a leg.
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Falling on Hard Times
In these austere times, about the only thing that you can do on a shoestring is… TRIP!
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Thirst-Quenching Dilemma
Patrick McDougall, a 28 year old man who was half Irish and half Scottish could not bring himself to buy a drink.
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Writer Pays Penalty
In Chicago today, George Reaper, who wrote too many words was sentenced to death.
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Chinese Diplomat Fined for Traffic Offence
In Mexico today,Hoo Flung Dung, a Chinese diplomat was fined for driving the Wong way in a Juan way street.
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'Birthers' Rethink Strategy After Minor Setback
Start by officially changing their name to 'afterbirthers'.
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President Obama Releases Birth Certificate
White House Press Secretary Carney said the president has "important stuff" to do for the USA. Obama's schedule includes taping an Oprah Winfrey show in Chicago IL and three reelection fund raisers!
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April Fool
Former President Carter said North Korea's Kim Jong il wants direct talks with South Korea's leaders. Isn't the current bunch of young fools in Washington DC enough, without abiding an old fool?
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Massachusetts Senatorial Election 2012
MA Democrats are still miffed that Republican Senator Scott Brown replaced Ted Kennedy. Potential congressional challengers are pretending to know about oil/energy, the internet and foreign policy!
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Obama's 2012 Reelection Politics
Donald Trump complimented President Obama about his tie. Democratic liberal far left wing ideologue African-American college professors say this definitely proves Mr. Trump is a racist!
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Only Inside the Beltway
President Obama & Congressional Democrats pushed for federal funds to extend unemployment insurance. However, the states have to repay this money, a loan! But we give billions of dollars to Pakistan!
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Young American Disses Friends
In anticipation of the Royal wedding, a young American blows off all of her friends because they aren't British enough."
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