Order by:
Rating:

Liverpool Only City to Escape Smog Alert

… Instead, residents were given a SMEG alert!

written by IN SEINE, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Argentina to Employ Women Only Bus Drivers

A town near Buenos Aires is to employ women bus drivers only. This is because the men would never stop to ask for directions.

written by IN SEINE, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Three People Win a Car Each on Ryanair Flight

When three people won a car each name Ryanair flight, the cabin crew blamed it on the pilots flying through a rainbow at the time - can they put it down to the luck of the Irish?

written by IN SEINE, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Irishman Wins Wheelbarrow!

Patrick O'Reilly from Dublin, one of the three lucky winners of a car on a Ryanair flight could not drive, so he jumped at the offer to swap it for a wheelbarrow. "tis cheap on tires!" He said.

written by IN SEINE, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Veni. Vidi.

Clinic.

written by pinxit, 26 April 2011
Rating:

UK declared biggest "Loony Bin" on the planet, ask the Royals!

Record suicides, over-filled "Loony Bins" are the result of the blanket royal wedding coverage! The W.H.O. has declared Britain the largest "loony bin" on the planet, God shave the queen!

written by Jaggedone, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Kate & Will Divorced

Fears are growing that Will & Kate are divorced from reality.

written by j.w., 26 April 2011
Rating:

Mood Music

If the Wedding does not bring optimism to the streets of Britain, never fear, the Olympics will do so.

written by j.w., 26 April 2011
Rating:

Wedding in the Shadows

The excitement engendered by the debate on Alternatives to Voting has obliterated the Wedding from the public mind. Prince William is to address the AV issue at his wedding to get back attention.

written by j.w., 26 April 2011
Rating:

You were right all along!

Everything you have always suspected is true. Do not run.
Build a gazbo and take up playing the sousaphone. They will never expect that.

written by icybluepen, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Av you been asleep?

An MP talking to a flock of sheep bleeted 'Av you been asleep. Do you really want to support the Limp Dims?' 'One Baa two Chops' is the big fear for the sheep.

written by j.w., 26 April 2011
Rating:

Marrs Barred

Marrs Barrs have been banned from BBC canteens after they have been found to contain hidden messages that are too shocking for BBC employees to read.

written by j.w., 26 April 2011
Rating:

Chips n Fries

Asian based UK fish and chip entrepreneur Ranjit Boparan has taken delivery of a consignment of "Fukushima" potatoes and fish. Glow in the dark fish and chips will be served as of Friday in London.

written by iscrivener, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Marr's Blot Exposed

Andrew Marr has advised the world that he blotted his copybook when he was at school. This awful news has been kept from us until now. School chum Ian Hislop said Marr should have owned up before.

written by j.w., 26 April 2011
Rating:

Gimmick to Get More Flights

Three lucky prizewinners won a £11,500 car each on the same RYANAIR flight. Are you feeling lucky?

written by IN SEINE, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Who Was Given the First Gagging Order?

It is reputed that Monica Lewinsky was given the very first gagging order during the Clinton administration. It was certainly "NO CIGAR".

written by IN SEINE, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Assange in New WikiLeak Scandal

Swedish Police are re-opening the sex case against Julian Assange after forensics revealed that traces of his semen had been found on a young girl's bedsheet.

That really is one hell of a WikiLeak!

written by Scoop Hudson, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Was Rowling Invited?

Hills have opened a book on who got invited and who didn't to the royal do. Brown and Blair are scratched, but what of their close friend J.K.Rowling? They make her 6/1, by reason of association.

written by Auntie Matter, 26 April 2011
Rating:

The South Pole Penguins Do Know How To Make Do

Scientists state that Global Warming is getting out of control and point to the fact that last week three South Pole penguins where photographed roasting marshmallows.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 April 2011
Rating:

The NFL Powers That Be Are Certainly Some Pretty Smart Cookies

In a move to bolster sagging viewer numbers the NFL is considering having the networks move Sunday Night Football to Monday night and Monday Night Football to Sunday night.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 April 2011
Rating:

The Air Traffic ControllerZZZZZ Are Getting Kind of Out-of-Hand

A Seattle air traffic controller has been fired for sleeping on the job. He said that nothing bad happened so it was really no big deal.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Levi Johnston Knows All About "Snowflake" Palin's Groin Region

Levi Johnston's new tell all book promises to reveal some very intimate details about the Palin family including the fact that Sarah Palin's carpet does not match her drapes.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Peter Kay In Introspective Mood..

That garlic bread thing wasn't really funny, was it? Garlic BREAD? Garlic BREAD? It's just bread with garlic in it. Sorry about that.

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Peter Kay On Hot Cross Buns;

They're just like garlic bread. Only with fruit instead of garlic. Garlic BREAD?

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Peter Kay On Toast

Burnt BREAD? Burnt BREAD? What's that all about? Does it have garlic in it?

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Roberto Mancini Hospitalised

Undergoing major scarf surgery.

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Jose Mourinho To Take Over From Sir Alex Ferguson

Not a joke.

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Arsene Wenger goes on disability benefit

Long term blindness.

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

"I see dead people" says Derek Acorah

Nobody believes him.

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Spoof Writer makes Shocking Paedo Admission

"I used to fancy 13 year old girls - when I was 11," says Skoob1999

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

NFL 76% Gay

No surprises there then.

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Silvio Berlusconi Certainly Knows How To Make Friends!

Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi proudly announced that Italy will begin taking part in bombing raids over Libya. He added that he will also be providing free pizzas and wine for all U.N. Troops.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Netflix and Red Box Are Kicking Blockbuster Video's Butt

Netflix and Red Box business is booming. Meanwhile Blockbuster video is now offering a Butterball Turkey with each video rental.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Kimberly-Clark Announces A Big Change

The Kimberly-Clark Corporation, makers of Huggies and Kleenex, have announced that in a move to be more alphabetically correct they will soon be changing their name to Clark-Kimberly.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 April 2011
Rating:

The Good News and The Bad News About Those Pesky Airplane Ceiling Holes

Airline investigators have finally determined what caused those holes in the airplane ceilings. And the answer is not good...steel-eating termites.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Closet Gay Is Agoraphobic

Says: "I ain't coming out for nobody."

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Watch Your Step

San Francisco CA City Council passes a law, that people who poop on the street can be arrested and/or fined. Previously only pets (animal companions) were subject to this regulation!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

It's Unanimous

Sewer workers union members vote to adopt a turd as their organization logo!



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Economic Incompetents

Democratic liberal left state and federal politicians won't admit they overspent, causing severe deficits. They now want the taxpayers, especially rich taxpayers to pay for their financial screw-ups!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Distracted Drivers

A USDOT study reveals that traffic accidents increase by 1% when drivers take a laxative before leaving for work and have to find a gas station. The other 99% of drivers have a smelly automobile!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

More about Being Green

A Senate committee heard testimony from a rabid environmental group that is lobbying for recycling of male and female condoms!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

A Tale of Robbing Hood

Robbing Hood (Obama) extorts tax money from productive individuals (rich) to squander on useless Democratic left wing social programs/wealth redistribution, as opposed to reducing the national debt!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Telephone shown to be an Aphrodisiac

TV ads portray women as having an orgasm over the money they save on their telephone bills, leading scientists to the conclusion telephones are aphrodisiacs!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

EPA Kills Alaska Project (27 Billon Barrels)

An unelected incompetent Obama Democratic left wing appeals board rules Shell didn't consider emissions from an ice-breaking vessel when calculating overall greenhouse gas emissions for the project!


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

A Tax and Spend Paradise

President Obama signals he will not run in 2012. He plans to go to South America to work with the dictatorial left wing regimes & further ruin their economies, the same way he ruined the US economy.


written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Achieving Equality

A Democratic left wing think tank report petitions the TSA, using their airport scanners, to check that all Americans have the same amount of invisible body hair!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Fiscal Responsibility

House Minority Leader Pelosi (D-CA) resigned today. She indicated that every tax dollar of her salary would go to education and infrastructure, in order to help balance the 2012 federal budget.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Fiscal Lack of Responsibility

Rep. Pelosi (D-CA) chastised House Speaker Boehner (R-OH) for spending taxpayer money on the DOMA. Pelosi spent multi-millions of taxpayer dollars on military airplane trips and green plastic forks!



written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 April 2011
Rating:

76% Of United Fans Don't Live In Manchester

It's a Moss Side thing - you started it.

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Spain gears up for economic revival

Manana

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Peter Kay On Pumpernickel...

Is it BREAD? Does it have garlic in it?

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Peter Kay In Bread Race Row

Black BREAD? Black BREAD? What's that all about?

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Peter Kay In Grandmother Tribute

Naan Bread? Naan BREAD? What's that all about?

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Peter Kay Pens New Gag

Pitta bread? PITTA bread? What's that all about?

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Spiderman Quits

Says he needs more time on the web

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

Hampton Court Maze Inquiry...

Takes a dramatic new turn

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
Rating:

On Line Study Proves...

Most people talk shit.

written by Skoob1999, 26 April 2011
« Mar 2011 April 2011 May 2011 »
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